thelesterlee
Alex Rodriguez is one of the most simple athletes of all time. And I don’t mean simple like I believe he’s slow or incapable of understanding complicated concepts or anything like that but I call him simple because for so many years, people have described A-Rod as ‘complex’ while every step of the way, this man has shown zero complexities whatsoever.
Alex Rodriguez wants people to like him.
He did everything in his power to become the best hitter of his generation because he wanted folks to like him and he understood early on that his personality wasn’t the secret to affection.
Nope, he had to fill his body with poisons so to smash 696 homers, earn around $429 million, and force people to be in awe or in service to him.
Real simple guy.
I don’t care how many times he sits on Shark Tank biting the end of his pen, pretending to calculate the cost-benefit analysis of two college roommates pitching a pair of sunglasses that show a fake version of your eyes blinking periodically so you can secretly sleep through class—Alex Rodriguez wants people to think he’s cool or valuable in some way.
Which is why I know this man’s soul was crushed this week after current Minnesota Timberwolves owner, Glen Taylor, retracted his sale of the team and squashed the sale of the T-Wolves to A-Rod and Marc Lore.
Here is the official Timberwolves team statement:
Glen Taylor, Chairman of Taylor Sports Group, Inc., the general partner of Minnesota Timberwolves Basketball Limited Partnership (“Timberwolves and Lynx”), this morning confirmed the expiration of the option of Marc Lore and Alex Rodriguez to acquire controlling interest in the Timberwolves and Lynx.
Under terms of the purchase agreement, the closing was required to occur within 90 days following the exercise notice issued by Lore and Rodriguez. That 90-day period expired on March 27, 2024.
Under certain circumstances, the buyer could have been entitled to a limited extension. However, those circumstances did not occur.
“I will continue to work with Marc, Alex and the rest of the ownership group to ensure our teams have the necessary resources to compete at the highest levels on and off the court,” said Taylor. “The Timberwolves and Lynx are no longer for sale.”
Glen Taylor backed away from the deal at the finish line because he straight-up doesn’t like Alex Rodriguez.
You know that hurt A-Rod to the core. This decision is personal because Rodriguez couldn’t get someone to like him, as desperately as he tries.
I imagine Glen Taylor isn’t a huge fan of the changes Alex was trying to install. Rodriguez said he planned to retire Kevin Garnett’s jersey and even add him to the ownership group once the team was in his control.
Glen Taylor and Kevin Garnett famously hate each other. Maaaaaaybe it was a better idea to keep the plans to celebrate Taylor’s opps closer to the vest but again, A-Rod saw a chance to seem cool and get some love and jumped on it like an SS Officer jumping on a live grenade to save his fellow Wehrmacht.
Rodriguez also had 50 Cent as a special guest and had 50 almost auditioning to be the celebrity spokesman for the team. Glen Taylor is an 82-year-old lifelong Republican.
Mic’d Up With 50 Cent At The Minnesota Timberwolves Game pic.twitter.com/hHPLdM3Vof
— Hip Hop Immortal (@HipHopImm0rtal) February 6, 2024
I’m sure Taylor saw this 50 Cent hype video and thought his team was about to turn into the streets of Chicago.
Hell, I’m sure seeing Alex Rodriguez sitting courtside in blackface was the final straw for Glen.
That and, well, the Timberwolves are genuinely good for the first time in the franchise’s history and the team’s evaluation has nearly doubled since the sale to A-Rod and Lore in 2021.
Add this to the growing list of Alex Rodriguez’s failed attempts to gain power, respect and love from strangers.
Whether it’s eating a 211-game suspension from baseball because he was so obsessed with performing well, he was popping HGH gummies in the dugout. Or it’s a super public relationship with Jennifer Lopez that felt more like two emotionally retarded sociopaths joining their assets and less like two people who genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
And now his opportunity to own a team like his adversary, Derek Jeter, has been taken from him because he made a handshake agreement with a guy who looks like the Red Skull.
I hope Alex Rodriguez finds what he’s looking for.
Do you feel bad for Alex Rodriguez? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
