Dan Orlovsky is Nasty as Hell

Dan Orlovsky is one of the best NFL analysts over at ESPN these days. He does a great job breaking down and explaining what’s occurring on the field while still being somewhat entertaining and not falling into the typical ESPN schtick of having some incredibly annoying bias that they think is funny and interesting but actually derails the program like Mike Greenberg being a Jets fan or whatever the fuck Stephen A. Smith does with the Dallas Cowboys.

Oh, he also is nasty as hell and doesn’t clean himself well.

Question is:

How many times do you use a towel post shower till you throw it in laundry? I’m 30 times or so till it goes in

And no I agree but that air better be HOT

— Dan Orlovsky (@danorlovsky7) March 15, 2023

100%

attention for towel use? Lol

Most days I shower 2X a day and I probably throw my towel into the laundry every 2 weeks so I’d say 25-30 showers per towel. 100%

— Dan Orlovsky (@danorlovsky7) March 15, 2023

Ok.

Every day, people log into Twitter and type out things about themselves that no other human on Earth needs to know. Using a towel 30 times before you throw it into a washing machine is insane. Like, that’s how you catch the fungus that turned people into zombies in The Last of Us.

This is something you do when you literally have no income or no idea when you’ll get the opportunity to shower again. How many towels are at Dan Orlovsky’s house? I use a towel once and then, ya know, get a new fucking towel.

This is what you do when you mess up the washing machine once by using too much detergent or something so your wife bans you from using it again and you protest by just never washing your shit. I hope things improve in the nasty ass Orlovsky household before someone gets Covid-20.

But this is why I like Dan Orlovsky. If this tweet came from someone like Kendrick Perkins then you would know it would just be a lie to go viral and get attention but no, Dan doesn’t behave that way. He truly believes that drying yourself with a dirty towel over and over and over and over is normal behavior.

Hopefully, he brings whatever brand new bacterial infection he’s cultivating to the Get Up set so we can rid ourselves of that garbage TV program where Mike Tannnenbaum— one of the worst GMs in the NFL history— gives his ‘expert’ analysis and explains what GMs should do as if he isn’t currently working in a front office by choice when we all know no team would ever hire him again. The man gave Vernon Gholston $20 million guaranteed and the kid never recorded a single sack for the team.

Anyway, everyone use new towels and wash used ones. You don’t have to live like Dan Orlovsky.

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