With the return of first baseman slugger Bryce Eldridge, the San Francisco Giants are designating infielder Buddy Kennedy for assignment.
The 27-year-old cut from his 8th Major League club. (Technically 7 clubs. Kennedy started 2026 with the Giants on a minor league deal, called up June 1st, went 0-for-7 with a walk in 7 games, DFA’d. Traded to the Mariners for cash. Designated for assignment. Claimed by the Giants again on August 2nd and now, once again, DFA’d.)
Batting. 116/.224/.140 this season, it’s clear he can’t touch Major League pitching.
But why does Buddy Kennedy keep getting signed?
Since 2023, Buddy Kennedy is hitting 292/.400/.457 line in 1,528 Triple-A plate appearances. Shit, this season, he has 8 homers, 33 RBIs and a .986 OPS in Triple-A. When Kennedy steps into the box and sees the bleachers scattered with locals given free tickets at work, players’ families, and various MLB scouts, he’s prime Corey Seager.
The moment his minor league bus drops him off at a hotel, where he gets to have his own room, new Major League jersey laid out on the bed, he vomits up his career, mom’s spaghetti.
Not all of us are meant to be Christ figures, immortalized, generation after generation retelling our victories. Most of us are Buddy Kennedy. At best, big fish in a small pond, to be devoured if ever to wade in rougher waters.
Any team looking to win the Triple-A championship, come sign your championship MVP.
READ NEXT: Free Falling Tigers Finally Demote Worst Outfielder In Sport]
If you enjoyed what you read, head over to our Substack. We’ve got more content making fun of the ridiculous world we live in, sent directly to your email inbox daily.
Follow us over on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at [email protected]. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.



