Monday night, the 2026 MLB Home Run Derby.
Hosted by Netflix’s MLB team we met on Opening Night, and then never saw again.
Stacked field:
Jac Caglianone, Royals
Junior Caminero, Rays
Willson Contreras, Red Sox
Bryce Harper, Phillies
Munetaka Murakami, White Sox
Ben Rice, Yankees
Kyle Schwarber, Phillies
Jordan Walker, Cardinals
Your winner: Jordan Walker
“What’s it like to have 40,000 people boo you?” 😅
Jordan Walker stuns the Philly crowd after winning the Home Run Derby over Kyle Schwarber in clutch fashion 🔥 pic.twitter.com/DzH5H8oy2f
— ESPN (@espn) July 14, 2026
I watched and here’s some takeaways…
Returning to the old format worked, today
In 2015, All-Star Cincinnati, Major League Baseball changed the home run derby format, adding a clock to each round.
This season, they removed that clock again.
It worked out.
2026 All-Star Philadelphia, dramatic, cinematic, charismatic, 24-year-old Jordan Walker head-to-head with the hometown legend, Kyle Schwarber. Electric night.
But let’s not forget why that clock was installed in the first place.
Hitters sitting comfy, feet crossed on the ottoman, taking pitches, resting mid-round—the no-clock Derby a dark path toward forever night.
This year maintained the clock’s urgency, perhaps residual effects of the previous clocked era.
Time is a circle. See you in a dime when MLB reintroduces the clock.
Jordan Walker Skywalking
Clock off? Jordan Walker swag mining. Backwards cap, Big chain atop bigger chain atop biggest chain. The Big League Chew popping, bad secured. Shining in the Devo reds.
At one point, I swear he winked at my mother.
The 24-year-old St. Louis Cardinals right fielder, halfway through an ’88 Jordan season, 22 homers, 74 RBIs. 143 wRC+ at halftime.
No one in baseball possesses more RBIs than Jordan Walker.
His parents cheesing courtside, their son coronated in the land of Task and Mare of Eastown.
In the finals, Jordan Walker locked in the octagon with Kyle Schwarber and his 372 career home runs. Schwarber with homecourt advantage goes first.
11 homers in 15 swings. One of the definitive sluggers of his era with more show in him.
Walker had 7 homers with 2 swings left. If a batter knocks the final ball into the stands, they continue swinging until they stop hitting home runs.
Jordan Walker continued swinging…
JORDAN WALKER NEVER GAVE UP AT THE HR DERBY 🔥
Walker hit SIX home runs in a row to take the title 👏 pic.twitter.com/jKQk4ymdzt
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) July 14, 2026
Pure sicko mode, dragging his body past the finish line for the gold rope.
Here’s what Jordan Walker said after the game regarding black kids playing baseball:
“I mean, I hope it means a lot to them. I want to be a role model for the Black kids, you know, and I want more Black kids in baseball,” said Walker, who hit a total of 31 home runs on his 50 swings over three rounds. “Hopefully this raises some awareness.
“I know a lot of them are playing basketball, football route, but I want them to know the baseball route is open to them, too,” Walker said. “And there are a lot of kids that are athletic enough and mentally strong enough — Black kids that can play this game — and I want to see them do it.” (ESPN)
NEW GRIFFEY DROPPED.
“You don’t boo nobodies”
The crowd booed as Jordan Walker slayed their hometown hero. But also booed while everyone not wearing a Phillies kit.
They either hated everyone or the stadium showed Montgomery Burns on the Jumbo, a lot.
Jordan Walker shrugged, said “you don’t boo nobodies”, trophy-in-hand.
But Yankees first baseman and didn’t-do-shit-er, Ben Rice, also said “you don’t boo nobodies” when asked about the hostile environment.
Weird.
If this is some organized effort by players to trick fans out of booing them, the owners are about to have the tighest salary cap in sports history.
If this is some Drake lyric, of course it is.
Also, I’ve been booed. Plenty. I am the textbook definition of nobody.
It happens.
Whatever nonsense you must drill into your psyche to help you hit 101mph fastballs. I’m going to repeat that as I write incomplete sentences.
Yankees off the weed
The Yankees are about an Aaron Judge away from mattering, in the mean time, the eddys just kicked in.
A year away from the ten-year anniversary of Aaron Judge’s 2017 coming out party. His debut. [hat tip, curtsy].
Ben Rice bat .200 against his dad while Cam Schlittler and Cody Bellinger went on a Thanksgiving cousin walk around the stadium.
Nothing about this organization is unserious, Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone should maintain their lifetime contracts. Change nothing.
Pretending like Barry Bonds didn’t use steroids
Never catch me calling Barry Bonds out his name. Crackheads under a bridge snap to their senses, suddenly, defending the rule of law whenever Barry Bonds enters the chat. 2026 Netflix: here’s a bunch-a-Bonds, head sizes vary, smashing baseballs into confetti over paid spectators—sometimes in this lake back here.
The future ain’t so bad. Expected more flying cars. Not a jetpack in sight. Everything’s more expensive, the police are watching me through my laptop camera but hey, we’re over the BALCO stuff.
As good as it gets.
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