Knicks once again casually strolled back from behind double digits to secure the 105-95 NBA Finals Game 1 victory over the San Antonio Spurs.
New York is now only 3 wins away from a title, while the Spurs must batten down the hatches and defend homecourt, or they may be the next team swept beneath the Knicks brooms.
The NBA Finals is the biggest event on Earth— and with every big event, there are winners and there are certainly losers.
Here are the 17 biggest winners of NBA Finals Game 1.
Winner: Jalen Brunson
30 points, 13 in the 4th quarter to wipe away a 14-point second-half deficit.
Again.
Jalen Brunson was choking, pointing at his neck, begging for oxygen in the first half. Then he cleared his throat, remembered who he was and did that thing he does where his team wins and the other loses.
We are witnessing the best scorer in the world dogwalk three straight playoff teams like they were local JV squads and now rock the no. 1 defense—starring the greatest defender walking the planet—right to sleep.
Knicks win their 12th straight. Duh.
Loser: Victor Wembanyama
This current 22-year-old version of Victor Wembanyama is not built, literally, for this.
Victor got his 26 points. Congrats. Todah.
But on 6-for-21 shooting from the field, 6 turnovers and fewer than 10 rebounds whilst being the largest creature on the court—Wembanyama cannot yet control his immense powers.
He’s got, like, 15 years to figure it out.
He’ll be fine.
Shit, he could score 60 points in Game 2, the Spurs even the series and now he’s averaging 43PPG in the NBA Finals.
Winner: Karl-Anthony Towns
These playoffs may be defined by the big men vanishing when their teams needed them most. From Julius Randle to Evan Mobley to Chet Holmgren to Jalen Duren, so many “star” big men wanted none of the smoke.
Not Karl-Anthony.
Never once afraid to impact a game, negatively or positively.
Thankfully, he’s all positive this playoff run— including Game 1, scoring 18 points with 14 rebounds.
Unlike Chet Holmgren, KAT doesn’t see Wemby as some existential rival.
Vic is some skinny French kid Karl’s gonna bully. That’s his old coworker’s little son.
Winner: Josh Hart
Perhaps one of the greatest 3-point performances in NBA history.
3 points, 15 rebounds, 6 assists, 4 steals, 1 block.
Josh Hart shooting when the defense leaves him open will always create meaningless discourse but I’ve always been most frustrated by Hart’s defensive mental lapses— cutters allowed in and out of the paint freely like media grifters lying to their goofy audiences about the Mexican border— but this postseason, Hart’s locked in defensively, snatching dribbles from palms, jumping passing lanes, no easy buckets.
The Spurs couldn’t stop Alex Caruso. What is their answer to Josh Hart?
Winner: OG Anunoby
Brunson isn’t the only one who blacked out in the 4th quarter.
OG scored 12 of his 17 points in the 4th, including two huge back-to-back threes and some clutch free throws at the end.
The Knicks can just hit the OG Anunoby button and 12 4th quarter points spill onto the floor.
This is the greatest team ever, yo.
Just wait til they pull the Mikal Bridges lever.
Winner: Gregg Popovich
Coach Pop looked rough sitting in the suites, but it’s dope he gets to watch his program return to the Finals. None of us knows how long we have left. However, some of us are more aware than others. Good for Pop.
Winner: Guy who ran on the court
The economy broke. Young men’s options are Rumble Streamer or ICE agent. OH, or teacher/tutor/coach/cashier/Uber Eats driver/babysitter/caterer.
I’m not interested in even looking up his identity, but I imagine many have, and maybe he has more followers, and he’s closer to getting a bag to feed himself and post bail.
Good for him, I guess.
Plus, this is probably one of the final years a civilian can do that without being obliterated by the young men who didn’t choose to become streamers.
Loser: Guy who ran on the court
Still loser shit though.
Winner: Mike Brown
Jalen Brunson limped to the locker room with a knee injury. A year ago, I thought the team would be dead. Two years before that, they were.
Eh, Jose Alvarado and Jordan Clarkson and Miles McBride would figure it out.
By actually playing the bench, Mike Brown allowed every single member of the Knicks roster feel like valuable company employees instead of desperate, disconnected and disappointed, watching Brunson iso on one bad leg while Thibs has his back turned to the bench, never even learning some of their names.
Loser: De’Aaron Fox
Mike Brown shed the Sacramento Kings wretched vibes.
De’Aaron Fox carries those vibes in a cursed amulet around his neck.
9 years into his NBA career and Fox’s jumper still disappears at random, like he’s Kelly Oubre or some shit.
But the Sacramento Kings have to play him.
He’s the highest-paid employee. He has the biggest salary at his job.
And all he’s paid exclusively to prevent Stephon Castle from vomiting up 8 “does he have a concussion?” turnovers.
Winner: De’Aaron Fox
Perhaps that’s a really valuable bar to set for himself. He’s established that yes, he should be making the decisions, not Castle.
All he has to do is shoot better than 3-for-13 in Game 2— seems likely— he’ll be a hero.
It’s all about narrative.
Results don’t matter anymore.
The president could livestream himself murdering Melania with a butcher knife and he’d get reelected in 2028, red sweep across the electoral college, swing voters quoted saying “you have to respect his commitment to evil” as their deciding factor.
De’Aaron Fox scored 7 points in Game 1. He scores 17 in Game 2 we’re all square.
Winner: Julian Champagnie
This is the 2020 Miami Heat Duncan Robinson Finals run for Champagnie, refusing to miss threes, the floor inside the arch is lava, like the ball floating from his fingers.
5-for-10 from 3 in Game 1.
Pass the ball to Tucker.
Loser: Julian Champagnie
Duncan Robinson couldn’t defend his grocery cart in a crowded bread aisle. Jalen Brunson identified Champagnie as his new mark, to be walked down in the 4th like CJ McCollum and Joel Embiid and James Harden before him.
Loser: Keldon Johnson
Hey, I’ve kinda felt this way for a minute but I didn’t want to pretend I cared about the 6th Man of the Year—HOWEVER, I now care that the 6th Man of the Year frequently does nothing of note.
Payton Pritchard gets buckets.
Mitchell Robinson gets rebounds.
Alex Caruso crashes out.
Keldon Johnson can’t believe the refs called that foul after he fouls a guy.
Who would you rather have on your favorite ball club right now: Keldon Johnson or Landry Shamet?
Winner: Carter Bryant
If you’re under a certain age, all you have to do is get up and down the floor without tripping or hitting someone and the NBA world will talk about you like you should be calling contractors about building a mansion, the max salary soon cometh; keep getting *squants* 1 point, big dog.
Winner: Dylan Harper
Hey man, Dylan Harper nice with it.
For real for real.
De’Aaron Fox, Turnover Police is operating the offense, poorly, late, so this isn’t the year we see the full Dylan Harper fishscale but there’s an MVP candidate in there.
Cooper Flagg and Kon Knueppel play the “right way,” and Bill Simmons wants to kiss them on the mouth, cool.
Give Dylan Harper by 2030 and he’ll have MVP votes on his basketball reference page.
Winner: ESPN
Removing Stephen A. Smith and his main character syndrome from the NBA Finals broadcast instantly revitalizes the vibes.
I’d much prefer Shaq put on his tiny fake Homer Simpson reading glasses, use his serious inside-voice and pretend to be thoughtful while simply just saying shit like “you gotta dominate” than Stephen A. SmithKnueppelhungover in the face, half-heartededly raising his voice, yelling the same bullshit, lining up expensive dinner reservations for after the broadcast and bragging about getting the best table to everyone on his way out.
Knicks in 4.
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