You don’t work, you don’t eat. Simple as that.
Jonathan Majors, the greatest who never was.
Marvel built a kingdom Majors lit on fire the night his girlfriend saw him texting another girl, he beat her unconscious and then called the police on himself.
Too villainous for Kang The Conqueror, I reckon.
Kang destroys realities, sure, but he’d never put his hands on his partner.
Conquerors don’t cheat on their spouses.
With the transition from star of Creed to local plumber’s apprentice looming, Jonathan Majors took one acting at-bat, hoping to, at the very least, make rent this month—accepting a starring role in a Daily Wire-produced film.
The Daily Wire sells wars to young, overly sheltered social outcasts.
Recently, teetering into obscurity—a decade of fighting for the exact administration they wanted—no money in the budget for food and shelter, money tied up dropping bombs on browns—turns out, audiences don’t love seeing every politician, regardless of power, swear allegeciance to Israel whenever a camera’s in their face, like intruders have knives to their family’s throats, while Daily Wire podcast hosts pretend that’s a good thing.
Audiences thought they wanted to see mass deportation, thanks a lot to the Daily Wire telling them so, only to actually see these untrained, unwashed, uneducated ICE agents shooting defenseless civilians in the face, laughing about it on camera.
When The Daily Wire isn’t manufacturing consent, they make dogshit movies, watched only by other podcasters whose business model is designed around making fun of The Daily Wire.
Jonathan Majors is learning in real time just how far off Broadway he is.
Last week, Jonathan Majors fell out of a fucking window.
Jonathan Majors falls out of a window on set of his new Daily Wire action film.
When Deadline reached out for comment about unsafe conditions on the set, the producers said they “don’t negotiate with communists.”
(Source: Deadline) pic.twitter.com/UFulLUKgbM
— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) April 4, 2026
From the jump, the Daily Wire producers fought with crew members over unsafe working conditions, lighting equipment falling on heads, etc.
The window behind Majors and his co-star, removed, replaced by a fake window for a shot later in the film.
Majors and co did not realize that window was replaced, falling 6 feet to the ground—his co-star needing his hand stitched—Majors replaying the night he KOed his GF over and over until he’s smacked awake by a director on ketamine, texting his favorite sex worker.
The crew is now on strike.
Producers, when asked about fixing their relationship with the union, said they “don’t negotiate with communists”.
Shout out Michael B. Jordan playing two characters in Sinners but you know one of those parts was perfect for Jonathan Majors.
They wouldn’t even need to provide his wardrobe.
Whatever he wore to set would’ve worked.
And now he has to explain his new gait because he works for scammers who moved to LA looking to become actors, writers, comedians, directors, failed, blamed everyone else for their lack of talent, turned that venom into a million-dollar business churning out racist, xenophobic slop to feed algorithms and make teenagers sick.
Dallas Sonnier—owner of Bonfire Legend studio that teams up with Daily Wire to create farts—when asked about the union strike said, “We are too busy being bad asses, blowing sh*t up, flying helicopters, and killing movie terrorists to concern ourselves with four assholes with signs on the sidewalk and their illegitimate ‘strike.’”
Jonathan Majors works for emotionally stunted babies who call people who don’t want to die at work “communists”.
Last time a film studio attempted to work during a union strike, Alec Baldwin shot and killed a lady.
If the options are “communism”, and you get to go home safely after every work shift or “capitalism”—which according to The Daily Wire and Bonfire Legend means dropping lights on skulls and throwing actors 6 feet out of windows—I don’t know, man, I think I’m going with communism.
Jonathan Majors can rest easy knowing he most likely holds the Guinness World Record for the quickest response to “What would you do if you had a time machine?”
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