7 Biggest Losers of NFL Week 5

NFL Week 5 was amazing and by amazing I mean the Giants won in London against a team they had no business beating. Some other stuff happened too, I reckon. But like every week, there were some big ol losers.

Here are the 7 biggest losers of NFL Week 5:

1. Matt Rhule

The #Panthers have fired Matt Rhule.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) October 10, 2022

Damn, fired on your day off.

I have already said how much this guy stinks at coaching so I will be brief in saying good riddance to this scammer. He’s going to get a bajillion dollars taking a 4-win college football program to 9 wins and get praised as some savior despite, ya know, only winning 9 games.

2. Davante Adams

This is an unbelievably unacceptable behavior by Davante Adams.

We all love the game, we all know tensions get high. This warrants a suspension and/or a hefty fine. pic.twitter.com/SJTzxETwtP

— Preston Moore (@prestoncmoore) October 11, 2022

Clearly, Davante Adams let frustration get the best of him and shoved a random guy to the ground after the game. Not a great look. Unfortunately for him, the NFL media is weird and racist and all take turns jumping off the top rope to be the loudest one condemning extracurricular violence even though the entire game of football is violence and shoving some cameraman isn’t the end of the world, especially when these players do far worst things to their spouses and or guys at the club who look at them wrong.

Either way, Davante is now the center of a media cycle intended to make him look like a monster as everyone climbs atop their soapboxes to get the most retweets for dunking on him. Someone got pushed. Chill.

3. Carson Wentz

Ron Rivera on why the other NFC East teams have jumped past Washington:

“Quarterback.”

— Ben Standig (@BenStandig) October 10, 2022

I imagine it sucks to have your head coach throw you allllllll the way under the bus.

You know this has been sitting in Ron Rivera’s chest for weeks now. Man was asked why the other NFC East teams are doing better and immediately said “Fuck Carson Wentz”.

The Commanders are in a division with Daniel Jones, Jalen Hurts and Cooper Rush. Washington doesn’t suck because Carson is so terrible. Although Carson is in fact terrible.

Ron Rivera and defensive coordinator, Jack Del Rio, are supposed to be defensive specialists and teams are pretty much doing whatever they want. Perhaps Del Rio should turn off Fox News for a sec and run through some game film.

But also yea, Carson is the worst QB in the NFL.

4. Matt Ammendola Kyler Murray’s awareness

Kicker Matt Ammendola was a last-second signing prior to Arizona’s week 5 matchup against Philadelphia. With the game on the line, Ammendola shanked the kick and the Cardinals lost. He will be taking a lot of shit but he wouldn’t have been in that position if Kyler Murray knew what he was doing out there.

Kyler Murray made a huge mistake missing the 1st down that led to the missed field goal pic.twitter.com/G5HZpugzCW

— Brodes Media (@BrodesMedia) October 9, 2022

With 36 seconds left in the game, Kyler Murray scrambled up the middle and slid ONE yard short of the first down and seemingly believing he got the first down, chose to spike the ball leading to a 4th and inches where kicking was the only choice.

Kyler could’ve ran to the outside and stopped the clock by running out of bounds. He also could’ve just ran for another yard. He probably should’ve known what down it was. Kyler had no idea what the fuck was happening out there and gets to skate away without blame because the kicker who was unemployed 4 days earlier didn’t hit a field goal.

5. Tom Brady’s household

Tom Brady’s whole ass personal life is a massive L right now. This offseason, it was reported that Brady had FINALLY retired. And Tom took that personally by rushing back to return another year. His wife, uh, didn’t quite love that and they are currently in the midst of a weird ass divorce.

You can understand Brady still believing he’s capable of winning more championships but it’s very clear the 2022 Tampa Bay Buccaneers are not the same as the previous versions. They are nowhere near as talented and are struggling to gain distance in a division consisting of a Panthers team that just fired their head coach and a Saints team that has a QB playing with an extremely broken back.

Tom Brady threw his family away to narrowly beat Marcus Mariota’s Falcons. Yike.

6. The Sean McVay Cinematic Universe

We aren’t that many years removed from an NFL that would automatically hand you a head coaching job for simply being Facebook friends with Sean McVay. He was a boy genius that turned the mediocre St. Louis Rams into perennial Super Bowl contenders and he’s still yet to turn 40.

Zac Taylor was a QB coach for the Rams. The Bengals stink and his offense has made Ja’Marr Chase invisible.

Matt LaFleur’s Packers offense let the Giants score 17 unanswered. Reminder: The Packers have Aaron Rodgers and the Giants, do not.

I know Kliff Kingsbury didn’t work for the Rams but McVay having success at such a young age with no prior NFL head coaching experience directly led to the Cardinals taking a chance on Kingsbury and their offense is in hell too.

7. Tua Tagavailoa

The Miami Dolphins are going to get Tua Tagavailoa murdered on the football field. He suffered back-to-back brutal head injuries and when they finally decided to give him a week off to handle his leaking brain juice, his backup, Teddy Bridgewater, immediately suffered a concussion too.

No doubt in my mind Tua will be playing football as early as this Sunday and no doubt in my mind Tua is going to get crushed and need to be carried off the field again. The Dolphins want this man dead.