3 Biggest Takeaways From The Giants Week 5 Loss In Miami

The New York Giants lost. Again. This time to the Miami Dolphins in Florida. It wasn’t nearly as embarrassing as the Monday night stomping by the Seahawks but Daniel Jones went out with an injury so yea, this might be the final takeaways article of the year. There is truly nothing left to look forward to.

Here are 3 takeaways from another L:

1. Brian Daboll is a Scammer

Brian Daboll took home the 2022 NFL Coach of the Year trophy thanks to leading an overachieving football club to the playoffs and this year, it’s become quite clear he scammed the voters and is in no way the ‘quarterback whisperer’ he was once billed as.

This Giants team has scored 5 offensive touchdowns in 5 games and 4 of those touchdowns happened in one game against Arizona.

Prior to coming to New York, Daboll had been the offensive coordinator for some of the worst offenses in the NFL.

In 2009, his Browns were dead last in yards. The following year they jumped up to 29th in yards.

His 2012 Chiefs were last in points.

The 2018 Bills, 30th in points.

Brian Daboll is just Pat Shurmur with swag and a worse diet.

I think Daboll is an exponentially better head coach than the previous weirdos who have been there like Ben McAdoo and Joe Judge but man, Daboll and this front office went into the offseason with a totally wrong assessment of what would be required this season and look shocked that a team with Darius Slayton as their WR1 and an O-Line full of overnight warehouse workers can’t compete with actual professional football clubs.

2. Turnovers are good.

It finally happened. 5 games into the year and the Giants finally forced turnovers including this pick-six by Jason Pinnock to put some points on the board while Daboll whispers into his playsheet pretending as if he’s not calling the plays so he doesn’t take any blame for how stationary this team is:

JASON PINNOCK WITH THE 102-YARD PICK SIX. THE DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR. THE KING OF NEW YORK. THE TUA SLAYER pic.twitter.com/9v7SaZP5AN

— Dead Serious (@Deadseriousness) October 8, 2023

The Giants defense forced 2 interceptions and a fumble. Still lost and the game never felt close but the Dolphins have the best offense in the NFL and holding them to just 31 is like Andre Iguodala getting Finals MVP for holding LeBron to only 40 points a game.

3. The 2023 season is over

The pillars of the offense, quarterback, running back and left tackle, are all injured. Andrew Thomas and Saquon Barkley seem to be in no rush getting back out there on Sundays and Daniel Jones re-injured his neck—the same neck that required him to see a spine specialist in 2021 and I cannot stress enough how not very good it is for your quarterback to be visiting SPINE SPECIALISTS.

Let’s dead any and all expectations for this squad. Time to tank. Actually, I don’t even know if tanking will help.

Draft Caleb Williams anddddd then what? He’d still play behind the worst offensive line in the NFL and would look just as bad as DJ does. They’ll probably draft another corner. The Giants have been drafting first-round corners my entire life.

It feels good getting my Sundays back. Everyone go watch the Liberty and the Aces in the WNBA Finals. It’s up for the G-Men.

Thanks for reading.

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