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Why Your Favorite Team Will Win The Super Bowl 2024: New York Jets

Aaron Rodgers returns from a torn achilles, the greatest QB in team history. The 2024 New York Jets are for sure going to the Super Bowl.

2024 new york jets

Welcome to Why Your Favorite Team Will Win The Super Bowl 2024 where we trick ourselves into believing our favorite teams are Super Bowl destined, ignoring all logic and common sense. Let’s talk about the 2024 New York Jets

 

How did 2023 go?

aaron rodgers

The 2023 Jets won 7 games.

Those two clips happened, like 9 minutes apart.

Aaron Rodgers arrived in New Jersey, waved the flag on 9/11 and then suffered his own personal 9/11 immediately after, ending his season without doing a single thing in a Jets jersey.

Last season consisted of Zach Wilson bouncing footballs off Garrett Wilson’s cleats, Dalvin Cook stealing paychecks and Aaron Rodgers making the world hate Pat McAfee 1.

GM Joe Douglas and head coach Robert Saleh got a free year to kind of chill, knowing Rodgers was hurt and their jobs were safe until he played again. The 2023 Jets had a cute little gap year.

Quarterback report

Aaron Rodgers is the best quarterback in Jets history. He has several more MVP trophies than Chad Pennington, if you can imagine. You guys don’t need me to explain why it’s better to have Aaron Rodgers than Trevor Siemian, right?

 

Coach’s Corner

robert saleh receipts

Ol’ Bobby Saleh has an 18-33 record as the Jets head coach. In 3 years, he’s never won more than 7 games in a season. Which means he’s due.

Known for his defensive expertise, his Jets have been Top 10 in defense the last two seasons. All he needs is a professional quarterback who isn’t milf hunting or ripping darts in the locker room.

Aaron Rodgers is slightlyyyyy better than Mike White.

Schedule notes

The Jets have 6 primetime games and an early international game. That’s 7 times the Jets will be the only team playing. 7 opportunities for them to be picked at meticulously and overanalyzed and pricked and prodded. But like I read on a neon sign inside a WeWork once, pressure makes diamonds. The Jets will be forced to rise to the occasion.

Player to get excited about: Haason Reddick

Haason Reddick, whose name I just realized I had never spelled right until today, wanted a new contract from the Eagles so naturally instead of paying him, they traded him to New York for a 2026 third-round pick.

Reddick arrived in New York, still wanting a new contract and the Jets put their fingers in their ears, pretending they couldn’t hear him. So now Reddick, a guy who has recorded double-digit sacks each of the last 4 years, is sitting out, leaving the Jets looking silly for acquiring a guy they KNOW wants money without any plans of giving him that money.

BUT IF HE PLAYS, the Jets defense will put opposing teams through h-e-double hockey sticks.

Best case scenario

40-year old Brett Favre made the Pro Bowl his first year in Minnesota. The Vikings extended that elderly man’s career by leaning on Adrian Peterson.

Breece Hall is the most talented running back Aaron Rodgers has ever played with and at 40 years old, Hall can do most of the heavy lifting while Rodgers serves as just the cherry on top.

Worst case scenario

The head coach who has never had a winning record may just be terrible at coaching. The elderly yapper with family issues and a limp may have trouble staying healthy with a weaker offensive line in front of him while playing on a field the groundskeeper seemingly covers in Crisco before the coin toss.

The Jets will probably win the Super Bowl (or Aaron Rodgers is washed and more focused on being an internet troll than football).

 

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How do you think the 2024 New York Jets will look?  Leave a comment below. Respond on TwitterFacebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. 


 

  1. Pat McAfee would later give us a ton of reasons for us to hate him without any of Rodgers’s help.
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