thelesterlee
Kendrick Lamar told Drake “I am the culture and you are a vulture draining our resources for fame”. He followed that up by bringing together California artists for a massive Los Angeles pop-up show on Juneteenth to c-walk on his grave.
Bloods and crips joined forces to call Drake a pedophile at the top of their lungs.
Russell Westbrook and DeMar DeRozan went on stage at one point. DeRozan is arguably the greatest Toronto Raptor ever—most likely had nights out with Drake, broke bread, had intimate conversations at the afters—bum-rushed the stage to shout “THEY NOT LIKE US”.
Drake tried to mock Kendrick Lamar by saying “You rap like you’re trying to free the slaves” only for Kendrick to have thousands of black people looking FREE as hell on Juneteenth.
For context, here’s a picture of Drake from earlier this week:
They not like us.
This is the biggest artist of all time. Sure, we may be questioning his relationships with underage girls or poking holes at the authenticity of his songs but I have to help my man out.
What’s next for Drake?
Okay, so I have two options here. Walk with me.
Option no. 1:
Remember when Drake started popping up everywhere with the heart in his heart to promote his upcoming album, Certified Lover Boy? For months, I could not get that shitty-looking album cover out of my head with the pregnant emoji girls.
Drake has dropped 3 albums in the last 2 years. All of them came out after Certified Lover Boy. It feels like we cannot go more than 3 months without Drake sliding us a little EP of mid no one asked for.
It’s time to lay low for a while. Let people miss you. At this point, we know what Drake music is. A classic isn’t coming. It’ll be like, 8-10 cool songs. Nothing good enough to stop anyone from dissecting the simplicities and lack of growth.
They’re going to miss you when you’re gone.
Take a couple years off and randomly post a date on Instagram for Summer 2026. It doesn’t need to be an amazing project. Do the same type of music you always do. Who cares? We will celebrate your return because the algorithms do not rest. We would have consumed billions of unimportant garbage before 2026 arrives. We’ll be ready for you to whine about untrustworthy conspirators around you.
Option no. 2:
Drake has to beat up Kendrick Lamar.
I specifically didn’t say fight.
Nah, there can be no footage of Kendrick potentially winning, said fight—nope Drake needs to just beat the dog shit out of Kendrick, but not too much in a way that makes us feel bad for Kendrick, like no one can check into a hospital.
It will be a tightrope because you absolutely need to make sure you win that fight, like, cannot stress it enough, but you do not want to look like a bully. Kendrick isn’t the biggest guy in the world.
Wait, maybe Baby Keem will be with Kendrick and Drake can look like we won a 1-on-2 fight, ya know, the same lie Drake was telling while Kendrick spent a week kicking his teeth in with generational diss tracks as Drake pretended like we were desperate to hear his response to ASAP fucking Rocky.
Stomp him out and drop a track of you using that faux-mean, threatening voice. Become the bad boy. You can get soooo many teenagers with that brand.
Random Stray Thoughts About The Ken and Friends Show:
- Tyler, The Creator might have to replace J Cole in this whole ‘Big 3’ nonsense.
Tyler The Creator got the crowd on lock this is special pic.twitter.com/NPm1q3b7IQ
— Ahmed/The Ears/IG: BigBizTheGod 🇸🇴 (@big_business_) June 20, 2024
- LeBron James not going on stage with Westbrook and DeRozan was genius-level discipline. This is how you become the greatest basketball player of all time. He lived in Miami in the prime of his career with zero hidden children. We’ll never see this caliber of focus again.
- Shout out to The Game for being the only West Coast rapper not invited. I have no choice but to believe you and Drake are well-known at whatever high school parking lot y’all hang out at.
- Kendrick playing ‘They Not Like Us’ FIVE times over and over again is like Jerry dropping a piano on Tom’s head and then like, 4 more fucking pianos, murdering Tom and putting an end to the beloved animated series.
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What do you guys think Drake should do next? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Drake won this beef so I can call protective services to your residence.
