in NBA

Ceiling/Floor: Golden State Warriors Acquire Chris Paul

warriors chris paul

Welcome to Ceiling/Floor where I dissect trades, signings, firings and hirings in order to determine the best case and worst case scenarios.

The Washington Wizards have traded newly acquired Chris Paul to the Golden State Warriors for Jordan Poole and some draft picks.

Ceiling

The Golden State Warriors would’ve beaten the Lakers if they had Chris Paul instead of Jordan Poole. They for sure wouldn’t have let the Kings take them to 7 games.

Chris Paul is a better basketball player than Jordan Poole.

Jordan Poole’s game is entirely dependent on which “Link In Bio” TikToker is sitting courtside.

Coming off the playoffs, I’m always a huge fan of getting as many guys who can handle the basketball as you can.

This man cannot handle the basketball.

He can do cool crossovers or whatever but he can also trip over his own feet and fall on his ass trying to iso while the two greatest shooters of all time sit at the perimeter in awe of his stupidity.

Steph, Chris Paul and Draymond Green—assuming he re-signs—are 3 potential playmakers who can bail them out of any tough offensive possession

There is always someone on the floor who will make the correct decision with the ball in their hands.

Jordan Poole was just Bay Area Swaggy P.

Chris Paul is another adult in the room who can dribble, pass and shout unlike all those young kids on the team that played no minutes in the playoffs.

 

 

Floor

I’m fairly certain Chris Paul and Steph Curry hate each other.

Like, imagine you’ve been running a borderline successful restaurant and a new chef opens an exponentially more successful restaurant next door so since 2009, you’ve been battling to stay relevant against this new chef only to have your restaurant investors buy you out and the only place that will hire you for the money you want is the restaurant next door that’s been beating your ass.

You two might not be the best co-workers.

Steph Curry and Chris Paul fought RECENTLY.

Draymond Green punched Jordan Poole in the face RECENTLY.

The greatest trick this franchise ever pulled was winning the title in 2022 and making people think they weren’t a crumbling empire one confrontation away from no longer existing.

Bob Myers quit his GM job. We should pay attention when captains start rushing to the escape boats off the Titanic. And no, I’m not going to reference that tourist submarine where all those rich weirdos died. Nope. Not me.

Any time Chris Paul is on the court, the opposing team has an easy mismatch to exploit. Teams are going to pick and roll Chris Paul into dust.

It’s possible the Warriors found the one perimeter defender worse than Jordan Poole.

Chris Paul is surrounded by opps now.

This is a hostile work environment for a guy who I get the feeling is used to being the one to create a hostile work environment for others.

It’s like he’s going to Golden State as a punishment for being overbearing his entire career and now Draymond Green has to breathe hot Cheeto breath in his face while setting unnecessarily hard screens in practice because he’s mad about something that happened to him when he was 11 years old.

Godspeed, Christopher.

 

Final Prediction

Chris Paul won’t be healthy enough for anything truly funny to happen so this trade is all fantasy.

Mike Dunleavy got hired and immediately traded for a name people recognize.

I’m told the Warriors are the smartest organizations in the history of history and they let their brand new GM make a blockbuster trade for a 38 year who gets injured out of every postseason the last half-decade.

Bob Myers really drafted James Wiseman and quit. What a legend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading. Go ahead and sign up for the D, the daily Deadseriousness newsletter sent directly to your inbox every AM.

 

 

Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

lance armstrong

Lance Armstrong is Here To Fight For Fairness in Sports
tobias harris assassin

Did You Guys Know Tobias Harris is an “Assassin Scorer”?