thelesterlee
Tobias Harris’ father believes his son is an “Assassin scorer”.
Here’s what he said on a podcast about the Sixers misusing his son‘s secret talents:
“Personally, I don’t think so. The reason I say that, well Tobias is an assassin scorer. I mean they can’t stop him. Nobody in the league can stop him. So he’s proven that over his career even when he was with the Clippers he was an assassin scorer…
“And then [L.A.] traded him ’cause they got too good [and wanted to pivot to the draft lottery]. They offered us $80M, I turned down the $80M. They said ‘wow what are you looking for?’ I said ‘I want about $35M a year and they’re like ‘what? — I said ‘yeah, $35M a year. [They] said ‘well, we’re not gonna pay you that.’ So they traded him to the Sixers. Ever since [then] the Sixers,’ they put him in the corner.”
What a fascinating podcast I will never listen to.
The most fascinating part was the choice to sit down and interview Tobias Harris’s dad in the middle of June.
I don’t know why I said ‘middle of June’ like there was a more appropriate time to speak with the father of like, the 91st best player in the NBA.
Tobias’s dad for sure deserves his flowers for tricking an NBA team into giving his son a 5-year $180 million deal.
There’s no way in hell Rich Paul could’ve gotten Tobias that silly contract.
A poor kid from Ohio who ended up with one of the most successful British singers of all time would lack the imagination and perseverance to get Tobias Harris—the like, 98th best player in the NBA—that disgusting contract.
Only a true Long Island native could pull off this type of heist.
It’s the water. It’s full of hubris.
It’s full of hubris and whatever super illegal toxic waste dumping George Santos signed off on in exchange for free Jersey Mike’s subs for life.
But that’s what makes this podcast appearance so incredible.
Tobias’s dad didn’t get away with a heist. He genuinely believes his son is a god-level scorer.
Here are some clips of Tobias looking like one of the top scorers in the league, just in case his dad is reading this.
It’s evident to eye-testers that the analytics nonsense brought to Philly by Morey and Harden has diminished Tobias Harris’ arsenal of bucket-getting. Any team ready to trade for Tobi and give him the green light will be rewarded. pic.twitter.com/GMEP8BVHxj
— Ball Don’t Stop (@balldontstopp) June 25, 2023
Truthfully, he was a great scorer in Los Angeles but he played on a team with far more ball movement than Philadelphia has.
The 2019 Los Angeles Clippers didn’t really have anyone on the roster who holds onto the ball for too long.
Danilo Galinari made some plays from the top of the key with Landry Shamet and Pat Bev running around the perimeter for 3’s and Tobias and Lou Williams doing some work off the dribble.
It was a cool and suuuuper specific roster that Tobias benefited from but he was moved next to Joel Embiid and now James Harden, and Tobias has yet to figure out how to make an impact off the ball.
Tobias Harris scored a combined 21 points in Game 6 and Game 7 against the Boston Celtics this postseason.
The 2 biggest games of the season and Tobias the Assassin put up Bruce Brown numbers.
He’s too slow and predictable to be a cutter like Aaron Gordon.
He’s too slow and predictable to be a real threat in transition.
He’s too slow and predictable to take better defenders off the dribble.
Tobias Harris is one of the highest-paid players in the NBA and his job is essentially to stand around the 3-point line and put his hands out, in the off chance the balls comes your way.
There have probably only been maybe, what? 8-9 real ‘assassins’ in NBA history.
Tobias Harris is the 10th, just in case his dad is reading this.
So what’s next for Tobias Harris?
At long last, Tobias is in the final year of his preposterous contract.
Round of applause to Harris for being alongside Embiid for all these years and never catching any of the blame for the Sixers failing to reach the Eastern Conference Finals.
The best way for Philadelphia to improve is trading Tobias for multiple bodies that give the team more depth and get the $39 million invisible man off the floor.
So I’ve made a quick list of teams that could use the services of a player who disappears for long stretches of the game:
1. Shanghai Sharks: That Eric Bledsoe/Tobias Harris pick-n-roll is going to be a PROBLEM for the Shenzhen Leopards.
2. Mets de Guaynabo: I don’t know if Tobias fits well with ball-dominant big men but DeMarcus Cousins is a far greater passer than Embiid so I could see Tobias and Boogie running the floor with Renaldo Balkman and dominating the Puerto Rican leagues.
3. My local LA Fitness: Come back to Long Island, Tobias. Literally every street leads to a beach. It’s fire.
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