Tiger Woods Tricking His Ex-Girlfriend Into Thinking She Was Going on Vacation So That He Can Kick Her Out and Change the Locks is the Best Move of His Career

Tiger Woods is known for two things: being the greatest golfer of all time and his uncontrollable desire to sleep with every waitress and cashier that makes eye contact with him. This week, Tiger built onto his horny legacy with the brutal dumping of his girlfriend, Erica Herman.

Here are the details of Tiger’s newest relationship drama:

Their legal fight kicked off in October when Herman filed a landlord complaint in October last year alleging Woods, 47, booted her from his sprawling Jupiter home using “trickery” and then repeatedly refused to let her back in, according to the filings obtained by The Post.

The court papers state that those working on behalf of Woods’ trust convinced Herman to “pack a suitcase for a short vacation and, when she arrived at the airport, they told her she had been locked out of her residence, in violation of the oral tenancy agreement and in violation of Florida law.”

Herman alleges that Woods paid for a “hotel room and certain expenses for a short period of time” — and “frightened her away from returning” to the property.

Those working for Woods subsequently removed her personal belongings and took $40,000 in cash that belonged to her before making “scurrilous and defamatory allegations about how she obtained the money,” the court documents allege.

In the landlord filing, Herman claimed the couple had an “oral agreement” that ensured she could live at the mansion for a total of 11 years — and she still had five years remaining when the golf star called it quits on their relationship.

Based on the time left on her five-year tenancy, Herman argued in court papers that she was entitled to compensation of roughly $30 million.

In order to really go in on this story, we have to talk about who these people are and how we got here.

Tiger Woods had the world in the palm of his hands and elected to bang Denny’s hostesses and Dunkin Donuts baristas across the country leading to an embarrassing car crash as he rushed out of his home while his then-wife, Elin Nordegren, tried to beat his ass for cheating.

Then Tiger stopped winning tournaments because he took too many PEDs and carried too much weight for his frame leading to his back exploding. He then switched between popping HGH gummy bears to popping painkillers and crashing more cars.

Erica Herman exists as the ultimate culmination of Tiger’s downfall. Herman was a server and bartender at Tiger’s restaurant in Florida. Tiger sees waitresses the way lionesses see gazelles so it made all the sense he would end up with this woman who was created in a lab to meet his exact low self-esteem needs.

Herman was instrumental in helping Tiger reshape his image after another car crash that almost resulted in Tiger losing his leg. We can’t overlook what she did over their 6-year relationship and the nonsense she probably had to put up with from Tiger and his inability to do drugs and not be behind a steering wheel.

This was always going to be the ending for these two. Tiger used this woman for positive PR and to satisfy his fetish for customer service workers while Erica used him for the lifestyle upgrade.

Shout out to Tiger for legendary cowardice here.

So afraid to truly sit down and figure things out with this woman so he had his team plan an elaborate vacation in order to get her out of the house and change the locks when she was sitting in the airport waiting for a text back from the person she’s supposed to be meeting.

My only question is that if this relationship went so badly to the point where she refused to be kicked out of the house—why on Earth did Erica think Tiger was going to surprise and spoil her with a vacation? Either we are witnessing god-level gaslighting from Tiger or the immediate limitations of a Florida public school education. Probably a combination of both.

I’m just praying Erica Herman wins the lawsuit that would allow her to rip up the NDA she signed so we can get the most hilariously embarrassing Tiger Woods stories of the last 6 years. That’s like, 3 months of Deadseriousness content right there.

Quick side note:, the reason I wanted to write about this story is because I know how the internet works. It’s funnier to mock Erica Herman for essentially locking herself in Tiger’s house and refusing to leave when the relationship was clearly coming to an end.

But I saw how all these Andrew Tate meat-riding losers jumped off the top rope to defend Johnny Depp and call Amber Heard a devil when it was very clear that all of her violence was in retaliation to Depp’s bullshit.

Erica Herman is probably a weirdo and a scammer. She opted into a relationship with a man who has an entire section of his Wikipedia page dedicated to his cheating. But have you seen Tiger Woods’s smile? That’s the smile of a man who loves manipulating women.

Let’s just make fun of both of them and not turn this into some male-empowering tiny-wee wee energy campaign against her.

Thanks for reading. Go ahead and sign up for the D, the daily Deadseriousness newsletter sent directly to your inbox every AM.