The Unintended Consequences of Mark Cuban Selling The Dallas Mavericks

Mark Cuban is selling the Dallas Mavericks for around $3.5 billion to the Adelson family. However, he’s maintaining a role as governor of the team in control of basketball operations.

After 23 years of ownership, Cuban is finally giving the keys away and. As much as I love Deadseriousness, I will gladly sell this shit for $3.5 billion. Honestly, $350 is enough for me to really consider it.

I reckon we can start by speculating why Mark Cuban is also leaving Shark Tank after nearly two decades and selling his majority stake in the Dallas Mavericks.

Why is Mark Cuban selling the Mavericks?

Cuban has flirted with running for president in the past and this looks like the election year a guy like him could sneak in and actually make a real impact. Michael Bloomberg didn’t stand a chance in 2020 because he looked like he goes out at night and sucks the blood out of homeless people sleeping in Central Park.

People actually like Cuban.

With Joe Biden and Donald Trump both already having 4-year tenures that resulted in Americans’ lives being just as bad, if not worse, combined with both men being one sneeze away from being the stars of their own funeral, Mark Cuban has the advantage of being young enough to walk through the White House unassisted.

It’s also equally likely a bomb is dropping any day now and a Mark Cuban scandal is on the way. It wouldn’t be his first. There have already been reports on rampant sexual harassment in the Mavs front office as well as former GM, Don Nelson, claiming he was fired out of retaliation for him reporting that his nephew was sexually assaulted during an interview with the team.

Mark Cuban has skated past some really damning stories so whatever is coming next is some real evil shit.

How does Cuban selling actually affect the team?

Kyrie Irving is the most outspoken player in the NBA. When he sets his mind on a mission, there is nothing anyone can say to stop him. Whether it’s refusing to take medicine or spreading awareness for a super antisemitic Amazon documentary, Kyrie is going to dig his feet in the ground.

The Dallas Mavericks trading for him might’ve seriously saved his NBA career.

With one year left on his deal and an entire season spent fighting tooth and nail to tell the world that Jews are evil, it looked like Kyrie was either taking a veteran’s minimum salary for a team that’s waiting for him to step out of line so they can cut him without any longterm financial burden or getting a statue next to Stephon Marbury in Beijing.

It feels like Mark Cuban put his arm around Kyrie and embraced him in a way no one really has in his entire career. Not only did he not hesitate to give him a max contract extension, but he made Kyrie feel like a member of the team instead of some outcast.

Earlier this season, Kyrie wore a Palestinian keffiyeh in a post-game press conference and let it be known exactly where he stands on Israel bombing Gaza to smithereens.

Welllllll, now the Mavs are run by Miriam Adelson, an Israeli, MAGA dork who wears her Zionism on her sleeve. She is LITERALLY the richest Israeli woman in the world. She is the antithesis of everything Kyrie believes in. Miriam Adelson is the FACE of all of Kyrie’s conspiracies and nightmares.

The Dallas Mavericks are currently sitting as the third-best team in the Western Conference.

All these disappointing Luka Doncic years and this squad finally looks like a real title threat. Kyrie has been on his best behavior and embraced his role as the sidekick.

Miriam Adelson is going to address her new team and Kyrie is going to be blankly staring at her Star of David necklace doing everything in his power to stop himself from punching a hole through the wall. The honeymoon is over. Kyrie is going to self-destruct before I even finish writing this.

What’s next for Luka Doncic?

I get the vibes Luka Doncic and Mark Cuban have a great, healthy relationship. There was a major front-office shakeup a couple years ago that was almost entirely based on Luka wanting a change and Cuban respecting his wishes.

Miriam Adelson doesn’t have that same reverence for Luka. When Kyrie inevitably burns this bridge, where does that leave Luka?

The Mavericks just beat the Houston Rockets 121-115. Grant Williams scored 0 points. He missed every single shot.

Actors are losing work opportunities for coming out against Israeli’s occupation of Gaza. Kyrie is 1000% going to be way louder about his feelings about Israel and people are going to demand he get suspended.

Don’t be shocked if this Mavericks season goes totally off the rails and ends with Dallas missing the playoffs for back-to-back years and Luka demanding a trade.

To all my New York Knicks fans, we are so fucking close. Just a few more months of Julius Randle bricking 3’s and walking back on defense and we’re free. The 2024-25 New York Knicks are going to be a PROBLEM. LETS GOOOOOOO. Knicks in 4.

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