Last week, rookie Jaxson Dart debuted, palpable hope filled the tri-state area. Threats of tyranny, dread-inducing executive orders raining pain on anyone without a Hamptons beach house. Everything costs every dollar I have. The New York Giants won their first game of the season, I saw my first rainbow of 2025—discovered new food flavors, sent that “what’s up, man?” text to a friend I hadn’t spoken to since their wedding day.
We were so back.
Yikes: Cameron Skattebo fumbles and the Saints return it for a touchdown.
Just a brutal game from the New York Giants.pic.twitter.com/a6DolLakWy
— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) October 5, 2025
Nevermind. Everything’s dogshit.
The New York Giants went up 14-3, scoring touchdowns in their first two drives—first time in 5 years.
They lost 14-26.
Car stalled at a red light, engine exploded.
A Devin Singletary drop, harmless in isolation. Punt forced. It happens.
New Orleans receives the kickoff, 1 play, 11 seconds, 87-yard bomb down the sideline to Rashid Shaheed.
Ok.
Football is hard.
Mistakes happen.
This is where great teams bounce back, weak teams wither within the windstorm.
Let’s run through the remainder of the Giants offensive possessions:
- Darius Slayton drop (punt).
- Darius Slayton fumble
- Jaxson Dart fumble
- Cam Skattebo fumble (returned for a touchdown)
- Jaxson Dart interception
- Jaxson Dart interception
- Turnover on downs (game over)
Brief glimpse of joy, violently shaken awake from dreams, implanted by free Pepsi’s at blowout losses—blue skies, sunshine, to the truth: the New York Giants are still losers.
Last week’s 21-18 victory over the undefeated Los Angeles Chargers, a miracle, unsustainable; the Planet Fitness water fountain in the middle of a desert, a mirage.
Reality? Too many losers in the locker room. Devin Singletary dropped a screen pass at the line of scrimmage, momentum-halting idiocy.
Devin Singletary is a loser.
Jaxson Dart launches a deep ball to Darius Slayton, hits him in the gloves, ball hits turf.
Darius Slayton needs to catch this one. This is where you miss Malik Nabers pic.twitter.com/49trInRzzf
— Anthony Rivardo (@Anthony_Rivardo) October 5, 2025
Great wide receivers make this catch. But Darius Slayton is a loser. 6 years into his NFL career, still hovering the Mendoza line.
Cam Skattebo and Jaxson Dart combined for 4 turnovers. Losers. Not their fault. They’re new here, forcefielded from the decay formed from years of Dave Gettleman drafting kids he could bring to his country club for 18. Protected from Pat Shurmur and Joe Judge finger-painting, booger-eating regimes. Cam and Jaxson can still be saved.
I’m okay with the loss. 1 win against a West Coast team flying out to Jersey; premature playoff expectations were silly, fun as shit, but silly.
L’s distributed by the league’s dregs, napalm blasts—but this is Jaxson Dart’s second try, still discovering his physical capabilities against titanesque athletes. Risk management is a learned behavior. Let him go out and calculate what he can and cannot do.
Losing sucks but it’ll never end until the Giants defensive coordinator, Shane Bowen, files for unemployment.
Fire Shane Bowen
Earlier in the week, Saints quarterback Spencer Rattler—entering this weekend’s game with a pristine 0-10 record as a starter—overshared, telling reporters he hasn’t seen the Giants secondary display intricacies he’s seen from other NFL defenses.
Spencer Rattler on the Giants defense: “On the back end they don’t do as much as what we’ve seen from these other teams, disguise wise. They’ve got their wrinkles and everything. They run what they do well…”
Maybe some disguises this week…? pic.twitter.com/W0d18nFGT7
— NYGfaninCLT (@clt_ny) October 1, 2025
Spencer Rattler called the Giants elementary and Shane Bowen said “Nope. Pre-school.”
Rattler completed 67% of his passes for 225 yards and an 87-yard free throw for 6. Giants Harlem Globetrotting pass rush, 0 sacks, 1 QB hit, non-factor. Between penalties and inadequacies, New Orleans offense, especially in the second half, stacked first downs.
Shane Bowen’s scheme publicly challenged by an 0-10 soon-to-be backup QB. Folded. Made a mess of the kitchen. No new recipes in sight. Same boiled hot dogs and beans.
If the Giants losing means they’re one step closer to a defensive coordinator with more than 2 plays in his playbook, let’s keep losing.
Rashid Shaheed Rebrand
In 2022, Rashid walked onto the New Orleans Saints, undrafted out of Weber State. In his sophomore campaign, All-Pro punt returner. Muscled his way into a role, dominated.
Going into next year with a non-guaranteed contract, in an organization lost at sea, no winds carrying them in any particular direction, Rashid Shaheed could slip through the cracks. Dreams ended by a house built with no blueprints. Or like, nails and bolts and shit.
Well, Rashid is not ready to become a youth counselor at his old high school quite yet.
RASHID SHAHEED WAS FLYING 💨
He hit a max speed of 21.72 MPH on this insane 87-yard TD, per @NextGenStats 🤯
Watch live local games on #NFLPlus
Blackout restrictions may applypic.twitter.com/gt0PVXQfmC— NFL+ (@NFLPlus) October 5, 2025
Already on pace to have his best season as a wide receiver, I’m keeping an eye on Shaheed’s 2025. With nearly twice as many targets and almost 3 times as many yards, Rashid told Brandin Cooks, Tthe future is now, old man.” New Orleans might have found their Darius Slayton.
…oh no.
Thanks for reading.
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