The Mets are Having an Absolutely Disgusting Week

The New York Mets had a disappointing end to their 2022 season losing in the first round of the playoffs to the San Diego Padres. Steve Cohen was supposed to come in and buy all the best players and win championships and they ran into a Padres organization that may or may not be laundering money through insane 10-year mega contracts but that’s a conversation for another day. Go Padres.

But things were beginning to turn around this offseason. They signed the reigning Cy Young winner and the best pitcher of his generation—Justin Verlander. We won’t talk about the fact that Verlander will be 40 years old next season. Well, not yet.

And then news broke that the Mets had stolen Carlos Correa away from the San Francisco Giants. They signed one of the best shortstops in baseball to KILL opposing pitchers having to get Francisco Lindor, Carlos Correa and Pete Alonso out back-to-back-to-back.

BREAKING: Shortstop Carlos Correa and the Minnesota Twins are finalizing a six-year, $200 million contract, sources tell ESPN. The deal has a vesting option that can max out at $270 million. It is pending physical.

— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) January 10, 2023

Oh, uh, that’s interesting. I was told the Mets signed Correa and were only waiting for some strange mysterious physical. Nope, turns out Carlos Correa is returning to the Minnesota Twins. Perhaps Steve Cohen should spend more time making sure players sign on the dotted line and less time stopping people from buying Gamestop stock.

The Mets will be fine. They just have the oldest roster in baseball but I’m sure that will have no negative effects on the season. Older players are known for their ability to play 162 baseball games. Nothing to worry about there.

What other terrible things can happen to the Mets this week after failing to sign a player who would’ve instantly guaranteed their spot in the playoffs??

The worst person you just became a New York Mets fan. Tomi Lahren, a woman who is famous for being a borderline attractive blonde posting anti-feminist videos at a time on the internet when that was becoming popular and then IMMEDIATELY shifting directly into racism and hating anyone who isn’t a straight wealthy white guy.

Now her husband is employed by the Mets AAA team so Lahren will be proudly rooting for the Mets next to Kate Upton next season. Straight hell for Mets fans.

Also want to quickly point out that her husband, JP Arencibia, played only 6 years in the Majors and finished in the Top 10 of strikeouts twice. That man loved swinging through strike 3. That was his shit. He was also a catcher who led the league in errors and passed balls. He was a terrible baseball player and now we know he’s a conservative dweeb like his low-IQ wife.

Surely this is the end of the bad news for the New York Mets. 2023 just began and the Mets are already wading through the river of Styx.

Hey @keithhernandez, any chance you can maybe not show your face on this white supremacist dweeb’s shitty little program? pic.twitter.com/RcUxLebhYu

— It’s Clobberin’ Tom (Hib-Tone) (@nonabsorbing) January 11, 2023

And now one of the best players in Mets history is doing a sit-down interview with Tucker Carlson. The voice of the Mets on SNY is about to say the most disgusting shit about trans kids you’ve ever heard.

People love to dunk on Yankees fans but what’s the worse thing about their organization? I’d rather every player have to shave their facial hair instead of what the Mets are doing where everyone associated with the team has to attend at least one Trump rally and then submit a book report on it.

Good luck to the New York Insurrectionists. Hope they win 0 games.