Deadseriousness

Woke Killed Hooters

After all these years, Hooters may be finally shutting its doors as they’ve filed for bankruptcy thanks to the woke mind virus.

What Do You Do When You Find Out Steve Smith Is Rearranging Your Wife’s IUD?

So you open your wife’s phone and see she’s texting NFL All-Pro receiver, Steve Smith, about wanting to gag on it. What do you do next?

Anthony Edwards Needs To Learn When It’s Time To Make A Phone Call

Every 6 months we are forced against our will to read psychotic Anthony Edwards abortion texts because he simply won’t make a phone call.

It Is Sooooo Funny That Logan Paul Thinks He’s Banned From Egypt

Logan Paul got some bad news today: He is banned from Egypt. Or at least, that’s what Mr. Beast told him…..lol

Matt Gaetz Should Challenge Alan Ritchson To A Fight

A new “celebrity” beef between Matt Gaetz and Alan Ritchson is brewing. The man who pays children for sex and that guy from that thing.

Predicting All 32 Starting Quarterbacks For the 2025 NFL Season

Let’s predict who will be every team’s starting QB for the 2025 NFL Season before players start changing cities.

The Truly Awful Part About Lavar Ball Losing His Foot That No One’s Talking About

Lavar Ball seems to be in good spirits after his foot amputation but it’s all about to go downhill once his caretaker arrives…

We Cannot Allow Tom Hanks To Portray MAGA Voters As Racists

SNL aired a Tom Hanks MAGA sketch that disrespected and demeaned Trump voters, the least racist people on God’s white, I mean green Earth

The Truth Lies Within Your Vacuum Cleaner Bags

I have discovered a new way to unlock full human potential. All of humanities mysteries can be answered inside of your vacuum cleaner bags

We Need To Start a GoFundMe For The Chicago Cubs

If you’re a true Chicago Cubs fan then you’d understand that even though your team makes the most money in MLB, the owner just can’t afford players.

Richie Incognito Is Still An Asshole

Richie Incognito bullied Jonathan Martin out of the NFL but don’t let Martin claiming he wasn’t actually bullied distract you from the fact that Incognito sucks

Looks Like The Red Sox Will Be The First Team in MLB History With Two Players At Third Base

Between Rafael Devers and Alex Bregman, the Boston Red Sox now have two third baseman who expect to play third base. This should end well…

17 Biggest Winners and Losers of 2025 NBA All-Star Weekend

From Mac McClung jumping over a car to Draymond Green still looking for the guy who did this, let’s talk about 2025 NBA All-Star Weekend

Lester Lee’s AEW Grand Slam Australia Review

From Will Ospreay and Kenny Omega looking like before and after pictures to Mercedes Mone making Harley Cameron look like Kurt Angle, let’s talk AEW Grand Slam Australia

Lauren Boebert and Kid Rock Are Just Two Crazy Kids In Love

Love is in the air. As Valentine’s Day approaches, let us applaud Lauren Boebert and Kid Rock for putting themselves out there and succumbing to love.

The Jets Should Be Ashamed For Trying To Break Up The Aaron Rodgers Pat McAfee Friendship

We should all shame the New York Jets for attempting to stop the Aaron Rodgers Pat McAfee friendship. Men’s mental health is so important these days but the Jets just don’t care.

5 Questions After Watching The New Fantastic Four Trailer

Marvel has blessed the streets with a new Fantastic Four trailer so let’s wildly speculate based on like, 90 seconds of footage.

Kyle Kuzma Will Turn Giannis into the Next LeBron James

A brand new Kyle Kuzma Giannis partnership in Milwaukee is a precedent-setting moving, preparing us all for Giannis’s LeBron James era.

Michael Jordan’s Son Should Be Allowed To Do Some Cocaine

This week there was a Marcus Jordan cocaine arrest that should anger Americans nationwide. Let MJ’s kid do their little crack in peace.

5 Myles Garrett Trade Ideas

Time to make up fake Myles Garrett trade ideas now that the reigning DPOY has officially requested a trade away from the Cleveland Predators.

Life Must Be So Easy and Carefree For Bianca Censori

From being invited to the Grammys to never having to think about what outfit to wear, Bianca Censori must live a stress-free life

7 Lessons Learned From WWE Royal Rumble 2025

From the women’s division suddenly becoming loaded with stars to Roman Reigns coming to work to actually work, here’s what we learned from WWE Royal Rumble 2025.

9 Biggest Winners and Losers of the Luka Doncic Los Angeles Lakers Trade

A Luka Doncic Los Angeles Lakers trade randomly happened in the middle of the night and I’m still not 100% sure the story is real.

Never Leave Your House With Justin Tucker’s Level of Confidence

Baltimore Ravens kicker, Justin Tucker, has pulled a Deshaun Watson, begging professional massauses to touch his weewee. Who the fuck does Justin Tucker think he is?

We Can’t Get Mad At Karla Sofía Gascón For Her Old Tweets

Karla Sofía Gascón is the first openly trans woman ever nominated for Best Actress and she may have some bad tweets but she’s still learning and growing. She’s only 52.

It’s Insane That Scotty Pippen Jr is an NBA Player

Scotty Pippen Jr is a key member of one of the best teams in the NBA. His father was one of the best players ever. And no one gives a shit.

6 Teams That Should Take A Chance Trading For Zion Williamson

Zion Williamson was once penciled in as the future face of the NBA and now he’s a negative contract on a last place team. Let’s find Zion a new home.

Oh Nooooo, Jalen Johnson is Out With Season-Ending Shoulder Surgery…Dang It

With Jalen Johnson out, arguably the most talented player on the Atlanta Hawks, Trae Young won’t be able to roll dice on anyone’s logo. Dang.

8 Biggest Winners and Losers of the Kelsey Plum Trade to the Los Angeles Sparks

The 2025 WNBA calendar started with a BLOCKBUSTER trade sending Kelsey Plum to Los Angeles and Jewell Loyd to Las Vegas.

Mariano Rivera Covered Up Child Sex Abuse Crimes in His Church

Mariano Rivera learned a very important lesson from his time with the New York Yankees: always protect the brand.

Frankie Luvu Should’ve Jumped Offsides Again

The Washington Commanders were run out of the gym by the Philadelphia Eagles but Frankie Luvu was the one man fighting back.

Selena Gomez is the Biggest Victim of the Trump Administration’s Attack on Immigrants

Known billionaire, Selena Gomez, is actually the biggest victim of Trump’s new immigration policy and we should all band together to help (her)

9 Biggest Winners and Losers of Aaron Glenn Becoming The New York Jets Head Coach

From the death of the Lions to the resurrection of Sauce Gardner to Rex Ryan showing feet on main, let’s talk Aaron Glenn New York Jets

5 Blockbuster Trade Ideas That Would Shift The Entire NBA Landscape

I love the NBA and as much as people are complaining about ratings or whatever, this season has been great but boring. Here are some major NBA trade ideas to make the league astronomically more interesting.

Jared Goff Playing Like Absolute Trash Should Show Everyone Just How Amazing Ben Johnson Is

The Jared Goff Ben Johnson relationship runs so deep that Goff intentionally played like Tim Boyle to help Ben land the Bears job.

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