NFL Week 7 in the books (minus Monday Night Football playing two games simultaneously for some reason). The 49ers lost to the Chiefs. Again. Saquon Barkley ran all over the Giants. Detroit took the NFC North crown off the Vikings corpse and speaking of deaths, Deshaun Watson may finally be out of our lives.
Here are the NFL Week 7 Awards:
The Disaster Class Award: New York Giants
If the objective of football is to score touchdowns then I have no idea what game the Giants are preparing for all week.
On Sunday, the Giants racked up a titanic 119 yards—their lowest total since 1999.
Daniel Jones is the only starting quarterback with 6 straight home games without a passing touchdown.
Jones threw for 99 yards and got sacked 7 times.
Daniel Jones already sacked 3 times.
The Giants OL could be a real issue today. pic.twitter.com/BxLiPnDhoU
— Doug Rush (@TheDougRush) October 20, 2024
Drew fucking Lock came in the 4th quarter and the offense looked even worse.
The defense allowed Saquon Barkley to rush for 176 yards and a touchdown.
Every year, Brian Daboll and the boys lose divisional games and cannot locate the endzone and every year, Brian Daboll and the boys are all brought back to do it again.
Everyone not named Dexter Lawrence should be publicly shamed.
The Booger Eater Award: Aaron Rodgers
The Jets solved all of their problems this week.
They fired their head coach. They traded for Davante Adams. Hasson Reddick is joining the team finally. *wipes hands clean* problem solved.
Aaron Rodgers is going to double his career interceptions in one year with the Jets pic.twitter.com/TC8tApGkJF
— Kinny (@KinnyGames) October 21, 2024
Last week, Mike Williams ran a bad route. Aaron Rodgers shit on him in the post game press conference. The Jets put Williams on the trade block and replaced him with Davante Adams.
Garrett Wilson just let a catch go off his hands and into the Steelers hands to the Jets goal line. Don’t be shocked if Wilson gets benched for like, Jordy Nelson.
But it’s allllll good in New York because Rodgers is in the zone, minding his own business.
TRENDING: AARON RODGERS EATING BOOGERS ON THE SIDELINE WHILE THE #JETS WERE GETTING DOMINATED.
— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) October 21, 2024
Gotta get a little snack on the sidelines.
The Red Zone MVP Award: Jahmyr Gibbs
Last season, the Lions said they’d be using Jahmyr Gibbs in “ways people might not expect” and naturally, I mocked them.
But the 2024 Detroit Lions are using everyone in ways teams don’t expect.
Oh, and they’ll also just hand the ball of to Gibbs normally and he’ll still dominate a game.
Jahmyr Gibbs. Whew!!! pic.twitter.com/hA84a8Bxds
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) October 20, 2024
116 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns. Light work.
The RIP BOZO Award: Deshaun Watson
This was the non-contact injury to #Browns QB Deshaun Watson. It does not look good at all. pic.twitter.com/ES2MecuhD4 https://t.co/dKfcJ5SMMt
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) October 20, 2024
AHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHABAHAHAHAHABBHBAHAHAHAHAHAHABHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHHHAAHABAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABHBAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABHAHAHAHAHAHAHALOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAHLOLAHAHA
The GET OUT OF HERE Award: Tim Boyle
On 4th and 2 with 10 seconds left and the Dolphins down 6 points, Tim Boyle made the most Tim Boyle play of all time.
Final play for the Dolphins and Tim Boyle throws it out of bounds. Indianapolis is going to take this game. pic.twitter.com/3nesE2I1au
— Arye Pulli (@AryePulli) October 20, 2024
He threw the ball away. The game ended.
Tim Boyle wasn’t even facing any pass rush. He didn’t see a receiver open within his first 0.5 seconds of dropping back and played it safe by throwing it out of bounds—to lose.
Didn’t try to get the ball to Tyreek Hill or Jaylen Waddle, didn’t try to scramble or make a play—he just automatically threw it out.
Biggest Winner: Mike Tomlin
Justin Fields led the Steelers to a 4-2 record.
And Mike Tomlin benched him for 35-year-old Russell Wilson. Seattle and Denver changed the locks on Russ. He should not be a starting quarterback in 2024.
BREAKING: Russell Wilson still fucking sucks. pic.twitter.com/C59OT6GTzS
— Ryan Evans (@RyanEvansESPN) October 21, 2024
Russ threw that ball like me throwing a flip-flop at a spider on my kitchen floor.
Then Russ finished with 246 passing yards and 2 touchdowns. The Steelers won 37-15.
People love talking about Kyle Shanahan and Andy Reid and the Brothers Harbaugh but Mike Tomlin made a decision that could’ve ended the Steelers season, and instead, the team is sitting in first place in one of the hardest divisions in sports.
Tomlin is one of the GOATs.
Let’s celebrate this big balls move before Russ gets too confident, starts posting corny TikToks and turns back into the washed sociopath he is.
#Steelers HC Mike Tomlin on if switching to Russell Wilson with a 4-2 record was one of his boldest decisions:
“That’s why I’m well compensated. Thank you.”
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) October 21, 2024
Myyyyy nigga.
Biggest Loser: Brock Purdy
Brock Purdy is statistically one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. He gets his numbers. Good for him.
Against the Chiefs, not so much.
Here’s what Purdy managed to do in his big Super Bowl rematch:
- 17-for-31
- 212 yards
- 0 touchdowns
- 3 interceptions
- 36.7 passer rating
All 3 of those interceptions came on Kansas’s side of the field, including one on the 5-yard line.
3 interceptions thrown today by Brock Purdy 😬pic.twitter.com/gxUCmYG1qx
— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) October 20, 2024
Perfect toss to the defense.
Kyle Shanahan just lectured Brock Purdy for five minutes at his locker. Purdy listened and said nothing. Never seen anything like it.
— Grant Cohn (@grantcohn) October 20, 2024
Then he got undressed by his head coach for 5 straight minutes after the game. My man was so bad at his job, he got written up at work.
It turns out the final pick of the draft isn’t talented enough to overcome missing Christian McCaffrey, Deebo Samuel, Brandon Aiyuk, Jauan Jennings and Trent Williams.
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