NBA Players Are Being Racist To Howard Stern

This week on the Howard Stern show—a radio show that still exists in 2023 apparently—Howard blacked out and randomly revealed how upset he is by the way black NBA players treat him while he’s sitting courtside at their games.

Here is a piece of the completely unprovoked Stern story:

“The Knicks have been very kind to me. They put me right in the front row. That’s when I knew I was famous. When I, you know, I have courtside, they put me courtside and the Black players won’t come over and say hello to me, but they go over to Spike Lee,” Stern lamented.

“They don’t acknowledge you at all?” Quivers asked.

“No. I’ll be sitting next to Tracy Morgan or Chris Rock. You know, they seat you where they seat you. And a lot of times when I’m there, I’m next to Tracy Morgan, who is so funny. And he’s sitting there and like, couple of the players will come over. They like give him that bro shake and stuff. And I’m like — these guys should hug me too. I mean, what am I? I grew up in a Black neighborhood, you know what I mean? I mean they should know that. But I get ignored,” Stern said.

As someone who desperately wants everyone to like them, I see where Howard Stern is going with this. I am always overthinking every interaction I have with everyone on the way home wondering if they actually liked me.

But I also recognize it’s like, the lamest thing about me so I don’t sit in front of microphones and theorize why someone may or may not have hugged me but Howard Stern doesn’t quite have that same filter.

Howard Stern is a man who became famous so that people could treat him like he was famous so when Shai Gilgeous-Alexander isn’t dapping him up after a Knicks game, Stern has no choice but to question his own relevancy.

Stern is 128 years old and made a creepy horny radio show like a half-century before iPhones came out. Literally, as I’m writing this I’m realizing I don’t even give a fuck enough about this man to keep going. I can’t believe I was going to try and dunk on this dinosaur for thinking black NBA players don’t show him love because he’s white. We all know no one acknowledges him because he looks like a retired cop who frequently says shit like “What about the black-on-black crime in Chicago”.

“They might be recognizing you. Just not speaking to you,” Quivers said.

“Yeah, maybe they don’t like me. I don’t know,” Stern said. “I’d like to think it’s a White thing, not my personality. I hope it’s racial. That’s all.”

Can’t be his personality. Must be a racial thing. Everyone knows black NBA players aren’t allowed to shake hands with the whiteys at courtside. No way it can be any other reason. It’s just the world we live in, man.

Unfortunately, Howard Stern is getting exactly what he wants. We are all spending this boring Friday talking about him. Knowing how the internet works, there is going to be a sudden wave of viral old school Stern clips trending over the weekend and then come Monday, this fucking loser is going to have the most listens he’s had since the Clinton administration.

We all got got.

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