Miles Bridges is a Dork

There is nothing cornier on Earth than a grown-ass man who cannot stop letting people know how ‘hard’ he is or how real he keeps it. Miles Bridges is a fantastic basketball player but he is obsessed with behaving like a straight-up dork and his most recent domestic abuse arrest is just the apex of his stupidity.

Earlier this week, Bridges was arrested for felony domestic violence in Los Angeles. His victim needed to be hospitalized after the assault and he fled the scene before the police arrived. Dweeb.

Now, I don’t want to go onto a generic rant about how hitting women is bad. We know this. Or at least we should. I more want to focus on the type of dork who would hit a woman so badly she needs to see a doctor and would run before the police showed up.

Here is an Instagram story Bridges posted of him drinking lean and smoking a blunt.

There is nothing lamer than posting photos of yourself drinking and smoking on your story especially if you’re a professional athlete. I don’t care what you do when you’re not on the court. It’s always weird when guys who have never lifted a weight in their life tell professional basketball players to hit the gym. What you do off the court is none of my business.

But Miles Bridges goes out of his way to show strangers that he is ‘built different’ and doesn’t care about being an NBA player. The irony of not caring about your public image by constantly telling people you don’t care about your personal image. Seems like Bridges reallyyyy cares and reallyyy wants people to think he’s Big Meech.

Bridges, of course, also raps. I won’t post a link to that trash but it’s off-beat and lyrically vacant. The Detroit rap scene is big on rapping off-beat and good for them but Bridges is not that guy, as much as he is so desperate to come off as if he is.

This brings us back to the domestic abuse. Arguing with a woman and then proceeding to hit her so hard she has to go to the emergency room is the perfect indication of Bridge’s insecurity and overall lameness.

Miles Bridges isn’t hard or some gangster who drinks lean and doesn’t care about his NBA career. He’s not the man who raps about cool shit. He’s a little boy who wants to be seen as a tough guy who doesn’t take shit from anyone, including a woman who is physically incapable of defending herself against a 6-foot-7 NBA player.

Truly every decision Bridges makes is lame. He is a fucking dork constantly attempting to tell you he isn’t a fucking dork.

Last season, he averaged 20.2 points and 7.0 rebounds on 49% shooting from the field. He was the 2nd best player on a Charlotte Hornets team that made the play-in game and was prepared to really make an impact in the East next year.

Here’s what Hornets GM, Mitch Kupchak, said on Tuesday about Bridge’s future with the team:

“As an organization, we love Miles. We are going to bring him back. He has been great for the franchise, and I believe, with his work ethic, he’s only going to get better.”

Bridges probably saw the positivity and decided to prove to us that he’s not a pussy or whatever.

Hoping this dork becomes an adult before someone else gets seriously injured in his attempt to gain internet clout from NBA Reddit users.