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Mike Gesicki and Mac Jones Are Becoming Best Friends

mike gesicki mac jones

In March, the New England Patriots signed tight end, Mike Gesicki, away from division rival Miami Dolphins, to a 1-year $9 million contract. Gesicki joins JuJu Smith-Schuster as Mac Jones’s new offensive weapons.

In his first interview with the Boston media, Gesicki revealed that he and Mac Jones and developing an interesting little relationship:

The NFL is the only job where someone joins a new company and then has sleepovers with their supervisors and co-workers. If you work at a restaurant and the new bus boy came over to spend the night after his first shift, it would lead to a lot of questions. But in the NFL, the new backup tight end comes to play Call of Duty all weekend long and the media applauds your commitment to building team chemistry.

Do you think Mike Gesicki and Mac Jones have gotten so close that they can kind of predict what the other one is going to do in Rock, Paper Scissors? Yea know what I mean? When you can look someone in the eyes and sort of feel that they’re about to throw paper.

Or are they more into thumb wrestling?

But it makes sense for these two to try to connect. Both players had disappointing 2022 seasons and might be Googling “How To Get CDL” in the near future if they don’t get their shit back on track.

Last season Gesicki’s catches dropped from 73 to 32 and his yards dropped from 780 to 362. He scored more touchdowns last year but that was probably because he sucked and was never on the end so when he finally snuck onto the field in the red zone, the defenses assumed he was some lame fan that got drunk and ran onto the field.

In Gesicki’s defense, I think he struggled in Mike McDaniel’s offensive system while failing to gain the trust of every new starting quarterback during Tua Tagovailoa’s mission to be diagnosed with the most concussions in NFL history.

Mac Jones led the Patriots to the playoffs and went to the Pro Bowl in his rookie campaign only to return last season and get benched halfway through by Bailey Zappe—his AI-generated replacement.

In Mac Jones’s defense, all of his offensive coaches had the combined IQ of a 4th grader who has been a 4th grader for a couple years because their teacher doesn’t think they’re ready for 5th grade. Matt Patricia and Joe Judge are scammers who lied on their resumes, interviewed well and then remarkably actually gave them the jobs.

Those grifters are gone now and Bill O’Brien is taking over the OC duties—and we’ve seen how Deshaun Watson looked like a Hall of Famer with O’Brien and looked like Teddy Bridgewater last season with the Browns. But that could’ve had more to do with Watson not being able to force women to watch him JO on himself after practice.

Mike Gesicki was recruited to Penn State by Bill O’Brien back in 2013 but didn’t actually get to play for him because O’Brien took the Texans job by the time he showed up in the fall of 2014. Gesicki and Jones have had a lot of strange luck in their football careers.

It’s Mike Gesicki and Mac Jones vs. the world. We could be on the cusp of the next Tom Brady Rob Gronkowski legendary combo in New England. I wonder if they spent their sleepover just going back and forth telling stories about coaches fucking them over their whole careers.

The Patriots are going to win like, 5 games this season and both Mike Gesicki and Mac Jones are going to be playing for different teams by this time next year but they’ll always have their preseason sleepovers together.

 

There is nothing that lame white people love more than ruining viral dance moves. Remember when white kids across the country just could not stop whipping and nae-naeing nonstop? White kids and Tiffany Haddish, man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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