Michael Jordan’s Son Should Be Allowed To Do Some Cocaine

Imagine dedicating your entire life to become the greatest professional athlete on the planet.

Truly, envision a world in which you are a teenager who decides they will sacrifice everything to be great.

You make the NBA the most popular league in the world.

You turn Nike into the biggest athletic brand ever.

You literally changed the entire sports landscape every time you lace up your sneakers.

You’d assume you and your family would be granted full diplomatic immunity but nope—Michael Jordan’s offspring, Marcus Jordan, was arrested this week in a DUI with cocaine possession.

Roughly 10 minutes later Jordan was spotted by officers with his Lamborghini stuck on the tracks at a railroad crossing.

The police report revealed that authorities noticed Jordan’s headlights on the railroad tracks. There were signs of damage to the bumper and it appeared that rocks had been kicked up, seeming to signal he had been trying to get away but wasn’t able to.

Jordan had told officers he needed help getting his car off the tracks after making a wrong turn, but cops said that he was slurring his speech and had bloodshot, glassy eyes — and name-dropped his NBA legend dad.

“Bro, I’m Marcus Jordan. I’m Michael Jordan’s son,” he told one of the officers. “I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just trying to get home. And I made a wrong turn. OK?” (NYP)

Okay, it sounds like Marcus Jordan did some cocaine—I was going to say at a party but we’ve already seen him publicly do key bumps at a daytime, like, morning brunch thing so he could’ve been on his way home from a bat mitzvah or retirement dinner, who knows—but uh, he accidentally found himself stuck on the train tracks, as one does, and police arrested him as if his father wasn’t the most successful athlete in American history.

If the president of the United States can be a felon and a rapist then Michael Jordan’s progeny should be able to do some cocaine in peace.

Trump put his name on gaudy glorified motels.

Michael Jordan won 6 NBA Championships.

Where’s the grace?

What is even the point of becoming the greatest of all time if the perks don’t trickle down to his weird ass son?

Honestly, the officers who arrested Marcus Jordan should be arrested, or at the very least, removed from the police force.

We cannot have these people “protecting and serving” when they do not have the wherewithal to discern whether or not it’s a good idea to handcuff the son of the face of the 90s simply because he was coked out on the train tracks like a newly homeless addict.

If Deadseriousness becomes the biggest website on the internet and I make several corporations exorbitant wealth just from their proximity to me—I’d hope my children could do a little crack without the local police department all up in our business.

Yes, it’s wrong to do drugs and drive a vehicle. Of course. We all know and understand this.

But it’s even more wrong to arrest the son of the greatest basketball player ever.

All cops are bad. #FreeTheJordans.

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