thelesterlee
The Boston Celtics have been one of my favorite teams since drafting Jayson Tatum in 2017.
They are the incredible combination of being overly loved by the NBA media—to the point where it feels like 99% of the people covering basketball are from Massachusetts—and being wildly disappointing or even startled on any given night.
It’s what makes Kristaps Porzingis the perfect Celtic.
The Celtics-obsessed media—who have spent the last 8 years shitting on Porzingis’s game—now suddenly believe he is a future Hall of Famer who makes Shaquille O’Neal look like Kwame Brown after one great game against the New York Knicks.
An entire decade-long career sample-size ignored to praise him as the missing piece to a Celtics dynasty that hasn’t even started yet.
Porzingis without a doubt made a statement in Madison Square Garden. Here’s what KP did against the team that drafted him:
- 38 minutes
- 30 points
- 8-for-15 from the field
- 5 3-pointers
- 9-for-10 free throws
- 8 rebounds
- 4 blocks
- +13 +/-
Kristaps Porzingis with a masterful debut 🦄 pic.twitter.com/hAoeZwDYU3
— Pull up shoot (@NElGHT_) October 26, 2023
His pick-and-pop game was unstoppable. His rim protection was elite. This Jayson Tatum/Jaylen Brown Celtics team desperately needs a 3rd scorer to lessen their workloads. In a vacuum, Porzingis is the perfect puzzle piece.
And thanks to some weird whistles and the introduction to the flopping technical foul and Julius Randle doing the Julius Randle thing where he gets in his own head and thinks he has to take Jrue Holiday—the best on-ball defender in the NBA—off the dribble every possession to prove to fans or to himself that he’s HIM, 1 the Boston Celtics won.
But if they didn’t win, you could look at Porzingis’s 0 assists as an interesting thing we’re choosing to ignore.
I distinctly remember one possession where Kristaps took a LOGO 3-pointer that bricked off the backboard instead of swinging the ball to the two generic white shooters standing on the perimeter next to him. This is the terrible decision-making that has haunted Tatum and Brown for years.
And speaking of Jaylen Brown, the newly wealthy All-Star finished the game with 11 points and 0 shot attempts in the 4th quarter.
After signing a 5-year $300 million contract in the offseason, Brown’s biggest contribution in the Celtics season-opener was almost fighting Isaiah Hartensterin.
Nothing about Jaylen Brown makes me think he is okay with standing in the corner watching Tatum and Kristaps cook at the end of a close game. He knows we all mock him for not being able to dribble. I don’t believe he will be the funnest teammate ever averaging 11 points a game while being roasted all season for his contract.
Let’s see what this team looks like when the shots Kristaps was straight up CHUCKING from deep end up hitting the front of the rim.
I don’t think the vibes are going to be as outstanding when Porzingis isn’t making shots and isn’t contributing in any other way because he is the type of guy who stops playing defense when his shots aren’t falling. Celtics fans will see this movie soon.
Combine Porzingis’s career-long, game-to-game inconsistency and his frequent injury woes with Tatum and Brown’s inability to not throw basketballs directly into the palms of the opposing defense, and this is about to be one of the best Celtics seasons ever.
Jayson Tatum has committed 4 or more turnovers in 22 of his last 44 playoff games. In HALF of the postseason games Tatum has played since 2022, he has given the ball to the other team a fucking lot.
But back to Porzingis’s injuries.
Kristaps Porzingis played 65 games last year which was his highest since his rookie season.
Prior to last year, Porzingis played 17 games. 34 games the year before that.
There is no evidence to believe his body has suddenly changed and he can withstand the physical toll of an 82 NBA season.
I cannot wait to see the heartbreak of guys like Bill Simmons when the Celtics do what they always do: lose.
The biggest flaw of the Celtics has been their volatility and inconsistency and they are banking on one of the most volatile and inconsistent players in the NBA. Laugh out loud.
Is Kristaps Porzingis the Boston Celtics secret weapon? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you think Porzingis is going to play in an NBA Finals this year so I can make fun of you.
