thelesterlee
After Matty Stafford dissected the Bucs secondary for 343 passing yards and 4 touchdowns, Tampa Bay went out and signed veteran cornerback Richard Sherman this week.
Sherman is a 3-time first team All Pro and 5-time Pro Bowler (if you care about that pretend game) but found himself a free agent 3 weeks into the season following an arrest in July that came with a ring camera video of him absolutely losing his mind at his wife’s parents home.
Richard Sherman was always loud as hell but prior to that incident this summer, he had never been in any legal trouble. It was a pretty frightening video of a blackout drunk asshole just losing his mind. You never want your rock bottom to be televised unless of course, Gordon Ramsey or Jon Taffer are giving your restaurant a free million dollar renovation in which case you will gladly film your woes.
He will now be joining a star-studded roster that includes Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski and the biggest asshole in the NFL, Antonio Brown.
Somehow, Antonio Brown went from quitting the Oakland Raiders because he wasn’t allowed to wear his old helmet while being in the midst of a serious rape case to then quietly living in Tom Brady’s poolhouse in Florida without receiving any real criticisms which is odd considering, ya know, the rape stuff.
Can you imagine this team bus ride? Everyone fake laughing at Tom Brady’s lame dad jokes. Rob Gronkowski doing that corny lame white guy thing they do where they ironically dance to rap music and Barstool fans love it because isn’t it so funny when a white guy dances off beat to Young Thug???
Now add in Richard Sherman arguing with you about everything and using his little Stanford education to make you question all of your beliefs while Antonio Brown is in your other ear asking you if you can lie to his wife/girlfriend about where he was last night and losing his mind like a baby if you tell him no.
You know that team bus smells like the hot alcohol been sweat out of these weirdos pours from the night before. Richard Sherman and Antonio Brown are shouting at each other because one of them misplaced their cleats but they are both definitely the types of guys who lose their belongings and then immediately blame anyone and everyone for stealing their stuff.
And then you have to hold Jason Pierre-Paul’s gatorade bottle up to his mouth because he just loved the 4th of July too much. All this team needs is Tim Tebow on the roster praying for your sins every time you curse.
My point is, I don’t like the Buccaneers.
