I Can’t Stop Watching This Video of Luka Doncic

Luka Doncic was trending yesterday so I clicked and started scrolling. Apparently Kevin O’Connor from The Ringer took time out of his busy day full of sniffing Elon Musk’s seats to report the Lakers have long-term plans of trading for Luka Doncic when the LeBron era is over which isn’t much of a story because yea, duh, 29 teams would want Luka if he were to demand a trade.

Who cares?

Congrats on knowing a guy who works for the Lakers, I suppose.

I obviously scrolled right past that aggregated sewage to find a video that trapped me in its jaws for the remainder of my night.

I am hypnotized by the most absurd 13 seconds in the history of history.

Goran Dragic had a charity retirement game called the “Night of the Dragon”.

Hilarious move by Goran to make it a charity event so he could guilt all his friends into coming and playing basketball with him.

From now on, all of my birthdays are ‘charity events’ and you’re going to hell if you don’t get me a present.

And at some point during The Night of the Dragon”, Luka Doncic had the most fascinating 13 seconds I have ever witnessed.

Luka commits a foul to grab a rebound. He leads the slowbreak up the court with no real plan before approaching the 3-point line where he then glitches his way to the basket.

My man carries the ball, travels, double dribbles and then travels again. I’ve never seen a more disgusting play. I am mesmerized by the way Luka Doncic blatantly cheated.

It’s not just the total disregard for the rules.

Luka also looks like he went to the NBA Finals for the first time in his career and celebrated by swallowing 55 burgers 55 fries 55 tacos 55 cokes 100 tater tots 100 pizzas 100 tenders 100 meatballs 100 coffees 55 wings 55 shakes 55 pancakes 55 pastas 55 peppers and 155 taters.

Luka’s favorite food is more food.

A player who has the potential to be the greatest of all time, taken down in his prime by type 2 diabetes.

He came into the league like Larry Bird and he’s leaving like Magic Johnson. Damn.

The defensive foul, carry, travel, double drible, foul could be his new signature move. Am I just being a hater?

I never want to become the old head hating on the new generation, yelling “Get off my lawn” or “Back in my day, basketball players used to dribble”.

Congrats to the Dallas Mavericks for making the 2024 NBA Finals. That won’t be happening anytime soon.

Luka is like, a week away from getting his foot amputated. And congrats to the loser in the Lakers organization that is boys with Kevin fucking O’Connor.

Oh, and an honest congrats to Goran Dragic, one of my favorite point guards ever with a nasty crossover, getting him to the rim whenever he wanted. I will never forget that weird ass Dragic, Eric Bledsoe, Isaiah Thomas, 3-point guard lineup in Phoenix that won 39 games and played like they all met several minutes before the opening tip.

Get well soon, Luka.

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I know it was just a fun charity game. Shut up.  Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.