How Much Money Would You Pay For MSCHF’s Big Red Boots?

I feel like if I want to take Deadseriousness to the next level, I need to present myself as someone who is in the know. Someone who is the face of new trends. If hypebeast nerds in Brooklyn are going crazy for new shoes then I need to be out here standing online for some of this shit.

MSCHF is introducing the brand new big red Astro Boy boots

Getting the Astro boy boots Idc these hard pic.twitter.com/N3DgdcDvil

— 🌟Ø₮₳₭Ʉ₲ØĐ🌟 (@OtakuGod_) February 6, 2023

Fire. Or at least, I’m being told it’s fire by people far cooler than me so I’m going to blindly take their word for it. The fuck do I know? I wear gray sweats Sunday through Saturday. This could be my entryway into cool.

Here’s what MSCHF co-founder Daniel Greenberg said about the Big Red Boots:

“In cartoon world, representation works with reduced information to immediately imply an object, rather literally depict it. The Big Red Boot works on a similar principle, where it is an absurd, simplified form that conveys the idea of “BOOT” without worrying too much about the particulars of realism.”

I don’t understand what any of those words mean but I will be there on February 16th to spend $350 on these Nintendo 64-ass boots.

MSHCF was most recently in the news for working with Lil Nas X to drop their satan sneakers that Nike immediately sued them over but again, if Lil Nas X is working with this brand then I need to be associated with them as well.

As long as we all ignore that these boots cannot be worn by anyone with the slightest physical ailments. Like, if you can’t bend over then you straight-up can’t take these boots off your feet. These aren’t for anyone’s grandparents. And that makes them even cooler. Nothing cooler than being a walking fire hazard.

Take my money, MSHCF. My $350 belongs to you. I just, uh, need to find $350 for Mario Kart shoes.