Hoping Deron Williams and Frank Gore Find What They're Looking For

Deron Williams is a 3-time all-star, 2-team All-NBA, 2-time Olympic gold medalist and has the 22nd most assists in the history of the NBA. Also known for an immaculate hairline. Frank Gore is a 5-time Pro Bowler, 1-time All-Pro, holds the record for most games played by a running back and was the first player in NFL history with 12 consecutive seasons with 1,200 yards from scrimmage.

And now for some reason, these two will be fighting each other next month for Jake Paul’s boxing event for misfit toys where Youtube stars embarrass professional athletes in bouts that look incredibly fake and fixed.

The Paul brothers want to establish themselves as legitimate boxers. Jake Paul beat former UFC champion, Tyrone Woodley. Logan Paul had an ‘exhibition match against Floyd Mayweather and didn’t get murdered in the ring.

It’s almost as if these fights are totally fraudulent and actual athletes are convinced to compete in these matches solely on the strength of the huge payday. And I don’t just mean ‘people do things for money’ because no shit. But I mean, they are making even more money behind the scenes to take a knee and let the Paul brothers look like they know how to box.

Personally, I’m not letting Tik Tok kids punch me in the face in front of hundreds of thousands of people because I care what my friends and family think of me but good for these weirdos for not caring about themselves or the way people perceive them.

But when it comes to this Deron Williams Frank Gore fight, I can’t help but think these two future Hall of Famers should probably be spending their time like, sitting the fuck down somewhere and not tap dancing for blonde assholes who have no idea how much they accomplished in your careers.

It makes sense when Lamar Odom agrees to fight for these losers. Crack don’t pay for itself. But shouldn’t Frank Gore be getting ready for a late-season signing after a star running back inevitably breaks their ankle or something? Shouldn’t Deron Williams be…doing whatever NBA players who can’t get jobs in the media do with their spare time?

Whatever. Perhaps these two men are searching for something in their lives and the only solution is to swing on each other. Sure.

Do not buy this Deron Williams Frank Gore fight. Don’t make this into a whole *thing* former professional athletes start doing.

Everyone save your money. Actually, if anything, use the money you were going to throw away to watch these weirdos slap box and subscribe to my newsletter instead.