Go Home To Your Family, Udonis

Udonis Haslem has officially re-signed with the Miami Heat to play his 20th NBA season.

Udonis Haslem announces at his youth camp that he will sign a new deal with the Miami Heat and return for the 20th season of his NBA career.

— Shams Charania (@ShamsCharania) August 21, 2022

The 41-year-old will join Kobe Bryant and Dirk Nowitzki as the only players to spend 20 years with only one organization so good for him sneaking his name into the same sentence as those Hall of Famers.
But at some point, you have to ask what’s really going on down in Florida. Haslem has only played in 58 out of a possible 492 games in the last six seasons.
Here’s a quick look at the raw athleticism he brings to a basketball court these days:

Throwback to when Tyler Herro tried a lob pass to 86-year-old Udonis Haslem 🤣pic.twitter.com/7ptfmT3hEn

— NBA Memes (@NBAMemes) August 23, 2022

Yup, you just HAVE to bring this guy back.
Heat fans should be pissed that a roster spot is being occupied by a man whose role seems to be ‘paycheck collector’. Especially when they appear to run out of gas at the end of all of their playoff series because they’re a man down with Haslem on the team exclusively to represent ‘Heat Culture’ a totally fabricated phenomenon where we are all led to believe they have some secret formula to basketball nirvana but in actuality, they just like run more sprints at practice than the other teams do.
Let’s look at the biggest contribution Haslem has made in the last decade:

Almost fist fighting the star of the team. Love that for Miami.
At some point, we have to face the reality that Udonis simply wants to avoid spending time with his family and would rather travel across the country with 20-year-olds like Tyler Herro blasting Jack Harlow’s trash music instead of being woken up early on a Sunday morning by his wife telling him to vacuum the living room or some shit.
Either that or Haslem knows some dark Pat Riley secrets. Someone ask Pat Riley about Epstein’s plane just to see if he breaks a sweat.