Exploring the Manning Brothers Odd Obsession With Putting Their Balls and Butts in Everyone's Faces

The Manning Brothers, Peyton and Eli, have interesting reputations as these fun-loving, goofy dorks who have excelled at the game of football despite the exorbitant pressure placed upon their shoulders as the sons of a former Pro Bowl QB, Archie Manning.

Former New York Giants running back, Wayne Gallman, played 3 seasons with Eli Manning. Gallman had a recent Q&A with the New York Post (for some reason). He was asked about his favorite memory with Eli.

Here’s what he shared:

Q: Give me your favorite single Eli Manning memory.

A: I wouldn’t say it was my favorite, but this is my most memorable — we’re in the locker room before a game, he was doing his stretching while I was sitting in my chair listening to music, and he walked by and he farted by my face. And walked away.

In a vacuum, this is harmless nonsense.

Probably not even worth writing about. A guy farted in another guy’s face. Locker room talk, as a certain group of folks would say.

Until you remember the story that came out a few years ago involving his brother, Peyton, and a trainer at Tennesee where a similar little lame prank took place.

In 1996, 19-year-old Peyton Manning apparently “forcefully maneuvered his naked testicles and rectum directly” onto then-team trainer, 27-year-old Jamie Naughright, who was working with his foot injury at the time.

You really can’t place your testicles and rectum in a woman’s face. Even if you’re married, you still have to give a little bit of a heads-up first. If you hired a sex worker to let you do it, she’d charge you more.

His defense of teabagging this woman, who was simply doing her job, was that he was actually mooning another player that was walking by and if his balls plopped onto a woman’s head then it was a total accident—although the player that was mooned signed an affidavit in which he said he was never mooned.

Whether the prank was on the trainer or his teammate—it still resulted in a lady getting ball blasted by a Hall of Fame quarterback while she was clocked into work.

But I don’t want to write this to condemn Peyton for being a sexual predator or whatever. I don’t believe Peyton was even thinking sexually at all.

My point is that the Manning brothers are menaces that must be stopped. Perhaps I’m a different type of cat but no, you cannot fart in my face or moon me. I don’t care if we’re teenagers on campus or someone catches us walking in a dark alley and pulls a gun to my head screaming “MOON YOUR FRIEND OR I’LL SHOOT—I should have zero relationships with your ass.

Imagine being the backup running back fighting for your spot on an NFL roster, like Wayne Gallman, and the Super Bowl MVP quarterback farts in your face for no reason. For Eli, that was probably the ultimate sign of comfortability and respect. He saw Gallman as one of the guys and that means face farts but nah, pat Gallman on the back or a high five.

Look at the collateral damage the Manning brothers have caused. That woman was a doctor. And she got slapped in the face with Peyton’s scrotum. Accident or not, homegirl had a reallyyyy bad day at work.

These are just two examples we know of. How many more people have fallen victim to the Manning Brothers balls or butts? Use #SurvivingTheManningBrothers to share your stories.

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