thelesterlee
WWE Backlash 2024 was the first PPV of the new era, whatever that means.
A lot of new faces introduced, a lot of clunky spots—while also staying true to the brand with a lot of the same old nonsense like 5 match cards forcing every match to be longer than they all need to be and a lot of wrestlers missing out on a PPV check.
However, the Lyon crowd was the most raucous crowd I’ve heard at one of these WWE shows in YEARS.
It almost distracted me from how little I gave a shit about The Bloodline 2.0 or the pretending as if I don’t already know Cody Rhodes will be champion going into Wrestlemania 41 and nothing he does this whole year will have any real stakes.
But let’s get into WWE Backlash 2024:
Kevin Owens & Randy Orton vs. The Bloodline (Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga)
Going into this match, I figured it’d be a squash match to re-establish the Bloodline as a big deal in WWE, stomping out two of the company’s steadiest hands, while introducing Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa as an absolute wrecking crew for an audience meeting them for the first time.
Instead, it was 20 clunky minutes of kendo stick spots where I had to pretend to care about Tama fucking Tonga as if he isn’t just the Samoan Karl Anderson.
Randy Orton and Tonga had so many interactions I saw through the corner of my eye while I was scrolling Twitter wondering if anyone was actually enjoying this.
Long-term storytelling only works if the audience cares about every chapter in the story leading up to the final one.
Until Roman Reigns returns, this will be an excruciating test of patience as Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa drag the tag team division to hell and we pretend as if Solo Sikoa didn’t lose like, 9,000 consecutive matches as he now takes on the head of the table role.
Tanga Loa debuta con Botch en WWE. Jodido eh.
— Falbak (@Falbak_) May 5, 2024
My man couldn’t even debut correctly, needing his grand entrance to be saved by a savvy ref and smart camera tricks. Tanga Loa adds nothing to this NWO 2000 ass faction but a breathing body to throw into a War Games cage.
WWE Women’s Championship — Bayley (c) vs. Tiffany Stratton vs. Naomi
I genuinely like what they’re doing with Naomi and Tiffany Stratton. My fear was Naomi would be punished for walking out of a live Smackdown taping with Sasha Banks a couple years ago, being forced to eat pins in squash matches and essentially returning to her role as ‘generic diva no. 4’—but I’m all in on this on-sight rivalry with Tiffany Stratton.
I want to see them in the Queen of the Ring Finals. I want them in a steel cage match like Becky and Trish Stratus last year. I want them both dangling from the Money in the Bank briefcase. Make them the final 2 women in the Royal Rumble and double clothesline them over the top rope at the same time. Tiffany and Naomi should be attached at the hip all year.
Bayley and Becky Lynch are most likely having their final real title runs, one of which will be designed exclusively to once again enhance Charlotte Flair when she returns and takes it from them, so I love Tiffany Stratton, an inevitable world champion, killing time with a fan favorite veteran as opposed to facing Bayley one-one-one early, losing and then kind of just bullshiting around with like, Chelsea Green, until she wins a Royal Rumble or something.
The electric French crowd kept me engaged in another kind of awkward match. Perhaps everyone was just super nervous because I know these performers are more capable than what they displayed.
Whatever. Enjoy your thing, Bayley.
World Heavyweight Championship — Damian Priest (c) vs. Jey Uso
Damian Priest vs. Jey Uso for the World Heavyweight Championship. Ok. I reckon this match is supposed to act as the beginning of the end of Judgement Day. Half of the crew is out with injuries and the other half interfered after Priest specifically told them not to. It was a cool way to get a specific group of wrestlers on television every week, doing things and collecting championships they wouldn’t have otherwise, but much like the current Bloodline story, I think I’ve had enough and don’t need to sort of wade through a river of boredom while we wait for more important performers, Roman Reigns, CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, to return.
The World Heavyweight division is in shambles. The only solution is a King Gunther reign after a dominant King of the Ring tournament. Not every single guy is meant to be the no. 1 champ. Damian Priest and Jey Uso can put on BANGERS for the US title or something. But these two men are playing dress up while the adults are away.
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships — Kabuki Warriors (Asuka & Kairi Sane) vs. Bianca Belair & Jade Cargill
Easily my favorite match of the night. 4 women with no in-ring chemistry awkwardly mis-timing all of their spots, loudly and obviously speaking to one another, planning their next moves whenever they went off their scripts.
It all started with Kairi Sane rushing to the big finish and the ref telling her Asuka was the legal woman in the match.
Can we talk about this 😬 pic.twitter.com/24wGHjGQ2t
— DS Ring the Belle 🔔 (@ringthebelleds) May 4, 2024
Kairi didn’t seem to understand and perhaps thinking the ref was telling her it was time for the arm bar spot, she stopped pinning Jade, set her up for an armbar before getting up and neither woman knowing how to salvage things. Eventually, after a few strange exchanges between Kairi and Jade, Kairi finally got Cargill to the corner so Asuka, the woman who was already the legal one in the match, could tag in even though she was already tagged in, and then rush Bianca Belair who was dead on the outside, back into the ring for the armbar to powerbomb spot.
I hope Jade gets comfortable. This whole article sounds negative, and it is. Backlash is a historically irrelevant event and WWE has done nothing to even pretend as if it’s not. I don’t feel like fishing for bronze in the inflatable outdoor swimming pool full of shit WWE prepared for me.
However, I am rooting for Jade Cargill who seems like she genuinely wants to be great at this thing.
Just stop dragging my girl Asuka down to the depths of hell with you. She should be where Becky Lynch is right now.
Undisputed WWE Championship — Cody Rhodes (c) vs. AJ Styles
Despite the inevitability of Cody Rhodes’s victory, I had a feeling these two men would hoop and they did not disappoint. Little did I know, AJ Styles, born and raised in the bible belt, has homecourt advantage in France. They were chanting for AJ like they were the ones who personally supplied him with all the HGH pulsating through his hemoglobin.
The Bullet Club’s impact on modern professional wrestling is absurd. WWE Backlash 2024 is like, 50% former BC members. Essentially a stable built by a group of guys in Japan who WWE wouldn’t even consider giving a try-out to in the early 2010’s, all now dominating American television a decade later and headlining a PPV, putting on the match of the night.
Last Backlash, Cody Rhodes took on Brock Lesnar in a brutal David vs. Goliath match and now, with AJ Styles’s new, uh, workout regiment, Cody finds himself in the ring with someone even bigger a year later.
Every wrestler is either injured (Seth Rollins, Punk, Drew) or they’re the Miz (the Miz, Austin Theory, LA Knight)—Cody has a lot of heavy lifting to do in order to make people care about this title reign they waited two years for. Putting on bangers with AJ Styles is a great way to start this shit off.
What are your WWE Backlash 2024 thoughts? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
