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Deadseriousness 2023 WWE Money in the Bank Review: LA Knight Gets Robbed

wwe 2023 money in the bank

Ah, Money in the Bank. The time when WWE hands out an automatic title shot to a mid-carder who isn’t ready to be in the title picture yet or else, ya know, they’d already be in the title picture.

Let’s see which randoms win the 2023 WWE Money in the Bank:

 

Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match — Ricochet vs. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. LA Knight vs. Santos Escobar vs. Butch vs. Damian Priest vs. Logan Paul

I went into this match assuming Logan Paul was going to win the Money in the Bank briefcase and immediately cash in on Seth Rollins later in the show to continue their little feud but I still had my dumb childhood fandom turned up to a million when LA Knight walked out and the crowd went nuts.

I was also tricking myself into believing Shinsuke Nakamura was going to win once Lil Uzi Vert sampled his entrance song but then I remembered Vince McMahon is still in charge and he’s probably working behind the scenes to shut that down.

There’s one big spot worth pointing out in this match:

This was inevitable. Damian Preist murdered Bad Bunny with tables at Backlash so you knew Logan Paul was going to try to be the no. 1 celebrity sicko.

Outside of this disaster spot, this match was fine. Butch had some surprisingly great moments. LA Knight was allowed to have a moment alone in the ring to be embraced by fans and Damian Preist wins the briefcase to further solidify Judgement Day as the most important part of Monday Night Raw.

But let’s take a moment and talk about LA Knight’s future going forward.

Perhaps I can trick myself into believing the Money in the Bank briefcase would only hold LA Knight back. We just saw how crippling the briefcase was when Austin Theory was running around with it. As long as Roman Reigns carries 3 belts with no signs of losing them anytime soon, owning that briefcase is a potential burden.

But at some point, this company needs to acknowledge LA Knight’s popularity and reward him for his ability to get himself over despite never actually winning any matches.

WWE seems to be stuck in two philosophies: either someone has the longest title reign in WWE history or they lose every single match because they need to ‘finish the story’ which is their nice way of saying ‘they need to wait for all of these current champions to have a year-long reign for no reason’.

Austin Theory is in the midst of the most meaningless US title reign ever. Give the belt to LA Knight and let him course correct whatever the hell they were trying to do with that kid.

Women’s Tag Team Championship — Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler (c) vs. Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez

Let’s start by saying there shouldn’t even be a women’s tag team championship on this card. Why didn’t Rhea Ripley or Asuka defend their titles at this PPV? This tag team division is so random I’d much rather there be a women’s version of the Intercontinental or US titles but I also genuinely do not enjoy these predictable ass tag matches.

The heels beat up the good guys until the one good guy makes the hot tag and their partner runs in with all the momentum and hits all their signature moves. Rinse. Repeat. Although I will say, I love the 4-way tag team matches WWE keeps doing with the women. Reminds me of growing up seeing APA, Too Cool, The Dudleys and the Guerreros in chaotic 4-way matches.

And just when I was bored of seeing Liv Morgan get stomped out over and over, Shayna Bazsler turns on Ronda and then dips. Apparently, it’s being reported Ronda Rousey is leaving WWE after Summerslam so perhaps her final (and only gift) to the business will be putting over her friend at Summerslam and focusing entirely on being a conspiracy theory loser.

Intercontinental Championship — Gunther (c) vs. Matt Riddle

Gunther and Matt Riddle have had some battles on the independent circuit and this match didn’t come anywhere near the quality of those nor did I expect it to. This match was about two things: Matt Riddle’s ankle and Drew McIntyre’s return.

I actually enjoyed this match and the psychology of it. Gunther spent the entire match attacking Riddle’s ankle until he inevitably tapped out. I think people expected more brutal chops and slaps but I appreciate Gunther getting the job done as easily as possible. He’s not here to put on a show. He’s here to win and go home. I’m okay with that.

Cody Rhodes vs. Dominik Mysterio

With the size of the Dom Mysterio boos, I understand why WWE would send their superhero out there for an easy W. I hate these matches that could just happen on a regular ass episode of Raw. There were no real stakes and without a stipulation, it felt like filler.

This is what happens when you decide Cody Rhodes isn’t allowed to win the title. You can’t put him in the Money in the Bank match but his face is on all of their promotional shit so he needs to be on the card so here’s 8 minutes against Rey Mysterio’s son and the women’s champion—who as I said earlier, also should’ve had her own match.

Women’s Money in the Bank ladder match — Zelina Vega vs. Becky Lynch vs. Zoey Stark vs. Bayley vs. Iyo Sky vs. Trish Stratus

Money in the bank matches can quickly become needless chaos and unorganized noise. Not only was this women’s match better than the men’s version but it was the match of the night for me. This was more than random spots and people breaking their necks for no reason.

Between Becky and Trish advancing their rivalry to Bayley and Iyo Sky having some internal conflict amongst their faction, every decision in this match made sense. Like, I love when there’s a ladder match where people are actively trying to climb the ladders to win instead of doing flips and other nonsense.

And don’t get me wrong, I love flips and other nonsense but for example, in the men’s Money in the Bank match, there was a moment where Damian Priest was alone in the ring with the ladder set up under the briefcase and Priest picked the ladder up and hit someone with it. Just climb the fucking ladder and win the match. These women were constantly trying to get the briefcase which I appreciate.

Do things that make sense. Please.

Also, shout out to Trish Stratus for taking a crazy ladder bump, landing on her back. She’s almost 50 years old. She’s turning into the female Terry Funk which is insane compared to what she was doing 20 years ago with Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson. Good for her.

 

World Heavyweight Championship — Seth Rollins (c) vs. Finn Balor

This is the match where I mostly played on my phone. I know how a Finn Balor PPV match is going to end. With him on his back taking the pin.

I also think Seth Rollins isn’t a fully formed character. He goes out there, people sing his song for way too long, he laughs like Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker—a movie that came out almost 5 years ago and not that many people saw—and that’s pretty much it.

Seth Rollins is probably the best worker in the company but he isn’t *that* great. Kenny Omega and Will Ospreay can have 5-star matches with barely any real promos to set up their rivalry because they are A-tier performers.

Seth Rollins needs more story with his opponents. His match against AJ Style was fine. It was good. Sure. But Rollins needs a really great story to sink his teeth in. Now, he’s just in the middle of a Finn Balor/Damian Priest war. His title is a prop and Seth just happens to be holding their prop for them.

Roman Reigns & Solo Sikoa vs. The Usos

Every negative thing I’ve said about tag team matches.

This was a great way to establish Roman Reigns losing his confidence and setting up his inevitable title loss to Cody Rhodes at Wrestlemania 40.

Jey Uso looked like a million bucks. Solo Sikoa looked like a monster. Roman Reigns looked like a little bitch. This match did everything it was supposed to do.

I think I said I was over this storyline last pay per view so I won’t pretend to have loved this chapter of it. The Bloodline has been breaking up for like, 6 months and I lost all emotional connection to this when Sami Zayn left.

Unfortunately, this looks like the end of Roman Reign’s dominance. What a run. I can’t imagine he goes back to talking shit to the camera and the crowd all match long after losing this Civil War and looking completely shook.

I don’t know what happens next with the Bloodline but expect it to last wayyyyy too long even though it’s been the ‘Final Chapter’ since February.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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