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Cole Beasley Needs To Shut Up and Dribble

cole beasley

Cole Beasley is coming off the best season of his NFL career grabbing 82 receptions for 967 yards and 4 touchdowns. These are impressive numbers from a slot receiver whose job is to pretty much just ran 5-yard slants across the middle and run like hell after.

Cole Beasley is also an anxi-vax loser who does not let a day go by without posting his skepticism for the Covid-19 vaccine.

It started last month when the NFL and NFL Player’s Associoation agreed to have more severe restrictions for non-vaxxed players while allowing vaccinated players to basically return to the default restrictions from last season.

 

One might argue that if you think the NFL is treating unvaccinated players unfairly then you should just, ya know, get vaccinated.

Fast forward a month and Cole Beasley is still out here crying about being persecuted against.

 

First of all, this man needs to stop reading so many Pro Football Talk headlines. He doesn’t come off as the type of guy who reads the actual articles. But it does give me faith that there’s a solid like, 80% chance he reads Deadseriousness. Or at least my headlines.

Glad Beasley offered a solution and a compromise here. He is willing to get vaccinated, guys. No worries. All he needs is for his wife to wet her beak a little bit and take home some of that sweet delicious Pfizer cash.

Okay, let’s do that math for Cole. The vaccine costs patients about $0. So hm, if Ms. Beasley gets around 10-15% of a cut from that purchase then wow, the Beasley family is set for generations.

But I’m done making fun of this geek because he actually made one good point in the midst of his nonsense. The NFLPA frequently ignores the players’ best interests for quick short-term gains. The fact that the franchise tags still exist is nuts. Teams can hold you hostage for your entire physical prime. Insane that the league still tests for weed. Which players do these dumb rules benefit?

I also have taken a step back and no longer want to call Covid conspiracy theorists ‘dumb’ anymore. They are absolutely correct to distrust the government but due to misinformation and political propaganda, these anti-vax geeks are empowered.

It’s not Cole Beasley’s fault that Dr. Fauci initially told us not to wear masks and then was like ‘lol oops I mean always wear masks lolol my bad my bad’ and still maintained his title as the foremost expert in the field. It’s not Beasley’s fault that the president refused to wear masks until he literally almost died from the plague.

Our leaders are complete trash and weirdos like Cole Beasley are the intellectual casualties of their pointless culture wars.

But Josh Allen should win the MVP this year and I’m not going to allow Cole Beasley to fuck that up for him when he starts sneezing in the huddle. Get vaccinated, loser.

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