thelesterlee
This week, Tom Brady appeared on some random podcast with a barber who cuts your hair for literally an hour while asking you questions and looking like he has a complicated relationship with the Jewish community.
The host asked Brady if he’d pick up the phone if an NFL team asked.
Here’s what the former husband said:
“I’m not opposed to it. I don’t know if they’re gonna let me, if I become an owner of an NFL team, but I don’t know if — I don’t know, I’m always gonna be in good shape, (I’ll) always be able to throw the ball. So to come in for a little bit, like M.J. coming back? I don’t know if they’d let me, but I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”
Tom Brady will be 47 years old by the time the season starts. Which sounds old (because it is) but he’d still be a year younger than George Blanda who played until he was 48 but like, not really. He threw for 11 yards.
In Brady’s last season, he finished 3rd in yards and 9th in completion percentage. He led the NFL in pass attempts and completions. Tampa won 8 games and made the playoffs.
Unfortunately, the Cowboys beat the dogshit out of the Buccaneers and Brady looked like a chew toy in Micah Parsons’s mouth.
Tom Brady is close to the age where he’s one fall in the shower away from Giselle in all black crying at his wake. He should be playing golf and napping at 2pm. But I understand his desire to get back out there.
I just watched a trailer for the new Bob Marley biopic. Bob Marley is one of the most influential musical artists ever and this movie looks like it cost $14 and a groupon to film. Tom Brady has to keep playing to delay whatever atrocious biopic called “24-3” starring Ansel Elgort is currently in production.
One time I had an Uber driver who said he was a former scientist who discovered something important. I have no memory of what exactly it was he did but I feel like it was important. Every day that passes, Brady becomes the old Uber driver explaining how important he used to be to a set of ears that could not care less.
The motivation to come back is clear but realistically, could Brady throw footballs this season?
Can Tom Brady play in 2024?
I reckon the actual question isn’t whether or not Brady is physically capable of playing but more so whether an organization is willing to find out.
So I narrowed it down to the 3 teams who should consider participating in this elder abuse.
New Orleans Saints
I recognize New Orleans is contractually tied to Derek Carr until 2006 but would you rather watch Derek Carr cry through his mascara after getting tackled too hard or Tom Brady throwing wobbly deflated beach balls that all somehow land in his receiver’s palms?
What even are the Saints doing? Blown this whole roster up and start over.
Las Vegas Raiders
As of right now, Aidan O’Connell is the QB1 for the Las Vegas Raiders. He should not be. Tom Brady is flirting with gaining some ownership of this franchise and If EYE ran the Raiders, I, too, would trust myself to be the starting quarterback over Aidan fucking O’Connell.
New England Patriots
RUN. IT. BACK.
The opps are gone. Bill Belichick is out of here. Tom can ride off into the sunset back where it all began. We can erase that Cowboys game from our memories.
Plus, look around the AFC East. Aaron Rodgers is almost Brady’s age. He’s coming off an achilles tear and a year of hallucinating alone in the woods listening to Joe Rogan confidently tell an audience of millions the cure to the common cold is drinking shoe polish. Oh, then he popped up every Wednesday trying his best to get Pat McAfee fired.
The Jets are going to suck.
With Stefon Diggs wearing a Texans jersey next year, it’s Josh Allen trying to 2015 Cam Newton his team to victories. Cam Newton broke like, every bone in his body from that so pray for Josh Allen.
The Miami Dolphins could be a problem—unless they play outside with the temperature below 90 degrees and there’s a single cloud in the sky.
Tom could return to New England and lead this team to the playoffs.
Personally, I’d rather see Tom Brady play in 2024 than Sam Darnold or JJ McCarthy but he should probably sit down and get comfortable with retirement. He’s only a few years away from quietly eating a small fry inside of Burger for an hour in the middle of the day.
Do you think Tom Brady can play in 2024? Leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
