thelesterlee
In 1912, the Titanic sank in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. 111 years later and 5 lunatics decided to jump in a submarine to explore the Titanic wreckage. An hour and 45 minutes into their voyage, they went off the radar and are now trapped underwater with their oxygen supply just about out.
Meanwhile, the stepson of one of the very-much-dying passengers is out here having the best week of his life.
Meet Brian Szasz, the guy who found out his stepdad was dying in a metal grave at the bottom of the ocean and promptly attempted to flirt with a random OnlyFans model on Twitter.
Again, his dad was in the midst of a slow march into the afterlife and Brian Szasz opened up the Twitter app, saw a tiny little ass and lost his mind.
But it’s okay ladies, he’s single.
Very important update to share on Twitter while undersea water pressure turns your father’s bones to sand. The 37-year-old is going through a difficult time right now so we can’t blame him for begging for pussy online.
As the oxygen escapes his dear dad’s lungs, Brian decided to go to a Blink-182 concert.
Who among us hasn’t surrounded ourselves with girls and music when we were at our lowest? Nothing unusual here from the guy cheesing at the Blink-182 merch stand while his dad’s heart slowly stops beating.
If you’re looking for more Brian updates, don’t bother checking his Twitter anymore. Since gaining all this new attention, Brian has deleted his Twitter account. He may or may not have done a racism online and had to disappear suddenly.
meanwhile the son of the billionaire is openly racist on social media + stalks women online 🤦‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/QHvIdZpILa
— Reda (@MayJailer0621) June 22, 2023
Yeaaa, while his dad drowns, Brian is shitting on Cardi B and using the n-word unprovoked. And not only did he want us to all know how he feels about black people, but he may or may not be a stalker…
apparently he’s a convicted STALKER?????? https://t.co/7Sgv85x44j pic.twitter.com/70L5o4T7z0
— ♀️ (@fatfabfeminist) June 21, 2023
What a fascinating creature. I should point out Brian also went to prison for an armed robbery at a 7-Eleven. Now his stepdad is evaporating under the weight of the Atlantic Ocean and because he decided to be horny online, everyone knows all of the dumb shit he’s done throughout his life.
I get the feeling the billions he’s about to inherit might help soothe the pain of being one of the biggest losers on the Internet.
And those billions are coming sooner than later as it’s being reported the Oceangate submarine imploded due to a leak. Bad news, everyone’s dead. The good news is they died instantly instead of slowly running out of oxygen like we all expected—just a quick blink of an eye implosion.
Sucks that these billionaires paid a quarter million to see a sunken ship underwater when that money could’ve been used for literally anything more valuable than looking at sea trash but I reckon it all worked out as they, themselves, have become sea trash.
Shout out Brian Szasz—Blink-182 superfan and former stalker—for the inheritance he is about to spend on the dumbest bullshit but no matter what he ends up purchasing, nothing will be dumber than dropping $250,000 on a janky submarine ride to hell.
Thanks for reading. Go ahead and sign up for the D, the daily Deadseriousness newsletter sent directly to your inbox every AM.
