Ben Roethlisberger Thinks He Can Save the 49ers Season

The San Francisco 49ers would objectively be the best team in the NFC if they only had one solid consistent healthy quarterback week after week instead of having a guy play for a few weeks and then breaking every bone in their body.

First Trey Lance. Then Jimmy G. And now, apparently Brock Purdy might’ve suffered an injury this weekend too.

#49ers QB Brock Purdy is getting an MRI today on his injured oblique, per source.

Purdy got hurt on the game’s second drive Sunday, and obviously played well after it. So, not a lot of concern pending further tests. But a quick turnaround for Thursday night in Seattle.

— Tom Pelissero (@TomPelissero) December 12, 2022

The legend of Brock Purdy is the type of story we need to finish out what I can only describe as a pretty ‘blah’ NFL season. Here’s what Purdy did in his first career NFL start against Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

16-for-21 passing (76%)
185 yards
2 touchdowns
1 rushing TD
134 passer rating

The 49ers won 35-7 andddd Purdy immediately injured his oblique. I’m sure he’ll be fine but if not, Ben Roethlisberger wants the world to know he’s ready to go if/when his phone rings.

Here’s what Ben Roethlisberger said on his podcast—a podcast that I can only imagine is the worst audio experience and the target audience is exclusively Guantanamo bay inmates being tortured:

“Let’s go north in California to my old stomping grounds,” T’eo said. “Because they don’t have a quarterback either. Jimmy G gets hurt, this is a very good team. As a fan of the 49ers, I’d like to see it. Is that arm a little loose?”

“I thought about it,” Roethlisberger replied smiling and performing arm circles as if he was warming up. “That team is one of the better teams in football and that defense is really stinking good and they did it with Purdy.”

You know who John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan are 1000% not ever fucking considering bringing into their building to play quarterback for their team? 40-year-old overweight rapist, Ben Roethlisberger.

Steelers fans and the 3 people who listen to this lame-ass podcast will tell you that Big Ben is only kidding but I know guys like that. It’s only a joke if the season ends without him playing on the 49ers. No, that joke was an opportunity to tell people he is down to play if his phone rings.

Brock Purdy with his oblique bleeding internally in his sternum is a better quarterback than Ben Roethlisberger and his pockets full of Spanish fly.