Earlier this month, we found out 79-year-old Robert De Niro had a newborn baby with his 44-year-old girlfriend. This week, we’ve learned 83-year-old Al Pacino is joining the elderly dad club with his 29-year-old girlfriend.
Ew.
Now, there isn’t anything like, illegal, about what these two elderly men are doing. Both of their partners are old enough to make their own decisions. It’s just, ya know, nasty as hell. For everyone involved.
These women are letting geriatric men jizz inside of them and these geriatric men are choosing to spend the final years of their life jizzing inside of women who weren’t alive when their movie careers started.
It’s also selfish as hell to bring children into the world knowing that you won’t be alive to see them graduate elementary school. Al Pacino looks like he’s one sneeze away from a coffin and he’s elected to father a child that he has no intention of actually fathering.
But I want to briefly talk about my girl Noor Alfallah, the mother of the new bastard.
Apparently, the lovely couple has been pretending to like each other since the Covid lockdown of 2019. Prior to dating Al Pacino, Alfallah spent about two years dating Mick Jagger, who is the same age as Robert De Niro. My girl has a type. The dying.
At first glance, it looks like Noor Alfallah is a greedy woman who is stealing money from rich celebrities but she comes from money. her father founded an investment firm. She herself is a movie producer. Alfallah has her own bread. I mean, of course she’s rich. It’s how she ends up in the same rooms as Al Pacino and Mick Jagger. She’s not gold-digging. She just reallyyyyyy likes old man meat and we don’t kink shame here at Deadseriousness.
Noor isn’t the person who should be getting side eyes here. Once you reach the big ol ages of Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, it becomes your job to protect your younger partners from making a massive mistake. A mistake like bearing the children of men who won’t be alive to help it get ready for its first picture day.
Al Pacino and Robert De Niro aren’t the nasty brothers because they enjoy the company of women more than half their age—although yea, it’s kinda nasty. No, these two sundowning weirdos are nasty because they are making babies with younger, less mature women who might not fully understand the consequences of spitting out senior citizens’ offspring.
We as a society really need to get back to using condoms. Especially if you plan on banging a man who was born before schools were integrated.
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