in College Football, Lists

9 Biggest Goofs of 2023 College Football Week 4

college football week 4

Welcome to the biggest goofs of the week. A goof can be an embarrassing mistake. A goof can be an extraordinary achievement. A goof is any moment that stands out and is worth mentioning.

And what makes college football so great is how often people are just goofin’. From players to coaches to fans there is sooo much goofin’ in college football but let’s look at the biggest goofs in the fourth week of the season

 

 

1. Fuck Lou Holtz

college football week 4

Lou Holtz is an 86-year-old with one foot in the grave and the other foot on the set of ESPN’s college football pregame show to slur some positive words about Notre Dame before being wheelchaired to his nursing home so he can get back to accusing the brown nurses of stealing from him.

Nothing he said was necessarily wrong here.

Ryan Day’s Ohio State team has failed to rise to the occasion in big games and it took to the final play to beat Notre Dame.

BUT, they did win 17-14 and earned the right to talk shit after.

(Just ignore that Notre Dame didn’t even have enough players on the field for the final two plays and the refs gave Ohio State an extra second for no reason at all).

Here’s Ryan Day cutting a WWF promo on Lou Holtz:

Personally, I’d want my head coach finalizing the game plan the morning before the game instead of watching Pat McAfee’s show but whatever. It worked.

I think I’m a Ryan Day fan now.

It’s fuck Lou Holtz here all day long. Get that frail, elderly, mush-mouthed, xenophobic, Donald Trump ball licker OUT of here.

2. Haley Van Voorhis makes history

college football week 4

On Saturday night, Haley Van Voorhis made history as the first woman to play college football as a position player. It’s a Division III school and she barely saw any minutes but here she is going out there and doing stuff and that’s impressive as hell.

And for anyone thinking she’ll have a hard time tackling people, remember there are NFL safeties who want nothing to do with tackling. Giants safety, Xavier McKinney, got leveled by Josh fucking Dobbs a couple weeks ago.

Haley is more jacked than 99% of the people doubting her. I trust her to tackle a running back going downhill more so than a random guy who paid for a free website in order to fund Elon Musk’s child support payments.

3. Willie Tyler is REALLY goofin’

college football week 4

I’ve used ‘goofing’ as an all-encompassing catch-all to talk about whatever weird stuff I want, but Louisville tackle, Willie Tyler, was indeed out here goofin for real.

Some people play college football to get rich. Some people play college football for the love of the game. Some people play college football for the status and clout. Willie Tyler plays college football because he just likes goofing around outside.

4. One-hand goofin’

college football week 4

Florida beat Charlotte 22-7 on Saturday thanks to wide receiver, Ricky Pearsall, who had 6 receptions for 104 yards. And one of the greatest catches in the history of history:

With every astonishing catch comes a quarterback who got away with an atrocious pass.

5. That Saturday morning hangover

college football week 4

The Houston Cougars beat the dogshit out of Sam Houston State 38-7 on Saturday. It was a massacre. Houston was LOCKED. IN. Including right tackle, Reuben Unije, who didn’t let a little vomit stop him from protecting his QB.

Guy like me is pretending to be sick and sitting out the rest of the game but whatever. Built different.

6. You can’t throw a trident

college football week 4

The Texas State Bobcats beat Nevada 35-24 but not everyone got to the end of the game. A member of the Texas State band was kicked out for throwing a TRIDENT at a Nevada player.

The band always has the most school spirit in the entire university. They are straight sickos and they DO NOT play about their football team. Some of them will even throw a fucking trident at an opposing player in they have to.

7. Checking in on Drake Maye

college football week 4

Everyone understands Caleb Willaism should be selected no. 1 in next year’s NFL Draft but the analysts who want to stick out and zag from the pack will tell you Drake Maye is actually the top quarterback in this class.

Ok yea, that little left-handed pass is landing directly in the arms of an opposing linebacker and by the time you realize he’s about to get a pick-six, a defensive linemen blocks the oxygen out of your lungs.

Drake Maye has 5 touchdowns to 4 interceptions. Caleb Williams has 15 touchdowns and 0 interceptions. We don’t have to cute about this. But I will 1000% purchase his XFL jersey though.

 

8. Clemson sure does suck

college football week 4

Clemson was once a proud dynasty ready to push Nick Saban off Mount Olympus and claim supremacy over college football. Now they’re 2-2 and just lost to Florida State.

Perhaps Dabo Swinney should spend more time figuring out when to use his timeouts and less time trying to turn his locker room into Sunday mass. But I’m sure this lost season is god’s way of teaching you a lesson or however these people spin every negative thing to avoid taking accountability.

9. Colorado is dead

2023 college football week 1

Oregon treated Colorado like a local JV team with a brutal 42-6 BEATDOWN on the Buffaloes. Personally, I was never super invested in the outcomes of any of their games because 1.) they beat my squad (go huskers) and 2.) it’s only the 4th week of the season.

But I recognize how polarizing of a figure Deion Sanders has become. People hate him so much that an opposing defender tried to knock his star player’s head off his shoulders all because Deion wore sunglasses or some shit.

Clocking all of Prime’s actions is very important to some strange people. If Colorado going on a losing streak means the mania around this man dies down then time to start losing.

 

Thanks for reading.

If you’re enjoying the weekly goofs then Go ahead and sign up for the D, the daily Deadseriousness newsletter sent directly to your inbox every AM.

RECOMMENDED:

9 Biggest Goofs of 2023 College Football Week 2

The One Big Part of the Story Left Out of the Johnny Manziel Documentary

Hugh Freeze is Going To Burn Auburn to the Ground

Follow @Deadseriousness on Twitter to help kill some time at work.

Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

giants week 3

3 Biggest Takeaways From The Giants Week 3 Loss In San Francisco
damian lillard milwaukee bucks

14 Winners and Losers of the Damian Lillard To Milwaukee Bucks Trade