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Sage Steele is Leaving ESPN To Focus on Being a Contrarian Loser

sage steele

After 16 unremarkable years at ESPN, Sage Steele is leaving the company so she can continue being a weirdo online without any repercussions.

#SteeleStrong.

 

Sage Steele was pulled off the air in 2021 when she complained about having to get a vaccine and went on a rant where she just couldn’t understand why Barack Obama called himself black when he—like Sage—has a white mother. (She was really telling on herself with that one).

She sued the company and they settled. Cool.

Now she can focus on doing what she really wants to do with her life—being a scammer like Candace Owens.

See, Candace Owens has the easiest job on the planet. She receives exorbitant amounts of money and all she has to do is be the black face who proudly comes out against black people so the racists can point to her and say “How can I be racist when a black woman thinks the same thing as me??”

Genius career moves being made here. Instead of being another random name swept up in the recent ESPN layoffs, Sage elected to quit and turn herself into a martyr so she could slingshot her way into pools of conservative cash.

She can sleep on her bed full of free MyPillows with a smile tonight knowing she can finally tweet “Are we sure these Hawaii fires are real and not just Joe Biden distracting us from Hunter leaving cocaine in the White House???”. And if she receives any pushback she gets to be like “OH GREAT IM BEING CANCELLED FOR JUST ASKING QUESTIONS THANKS TO THE WOKE MOB” to a sea of thunderous applause from old rich decrepit white dudes who all think Sage reminds them of Esperanza—the housekeeper they had growing up.

I’m genuinely excited for this next chapter in Sage Steele’s career.

The more I interact with people, the more I see how tired EVERYONE is with everything being turned into a culture war. Sage Steele is like, 2 years too late to this game which means she has to reach a new level of unhinged to get any real attention. She’s going to call Kamala Harris a new slur.

Go exercise those First Amendment rights, girl. Please say the wildest shit you think will get you the most Twitter interactions so I can have more content to write about. Need Sage Steele and Jason Whitlock to form a super-coon-cast to keep the lights on here at Deadseriousness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is Sage Steele about to become the Tucker Carlson?  Leave a comment below. Respond on TwitterFacebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee. Let me know if you agree with Sage so I help get you on an FBI watchlist.


 

Written by thelesterlee

Creator of Deadseriousness. Diehard Knicks, Yankees and Giants fan who wants to create a sports and pop culture space that isn't the same copy and pasted AI content you see everywhere else.

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