5 Takeaways From the 2023 MLB Home Run Derby

We’ve come a long way from watching Ken Griffey Jr turning the home run derby into must-see TV but I’m still conditioned to watch this glorified batting practice. I’ll just lie and say it’s for the sake of content and not because I’ve been conditioned to care about this like the Slam Dunk content despite neither event being particularly fun or exciting anymore.

But I also recognize that I’m no longer 10 years old so I’m no longer amazed by everything I see on television. It was a fun night for everyone at that stadium so let’s chat about it.

Here are the 5 takeaways from the 2023 MLB Home Run Derby:

1. Julio Rodriguez is HIM

JULIO RODRIGUEZ PUT ON A SHOW 🤩

41 home runs in the first round 🚀 pic.twitter.com/JrI4Ajag0p

— ESPN (@espn) July 11, 2023

If you’ve ever read anything I’ve written about Julio Rodriguez then you know the reverence I have for this man

. He reminds me of the sluggers I grew up watching like Ryan Howard and Jim Thome whose jobs were exclusively to punch baseballs to the moon. The rest of y’all can run bases and win Gold Gloves and all that.

These guys are here to hit dingers into the stratosphere.

Not only did Julio knock 41 bombs in the first round but he eliminated Pete Alonso for the 2nd year in a row which I always appreciate.

I’ll get more into that later but yea, the hometown kid beating the brakes off the dopey, corny Mets star was fantastic.

Julio Rodriguez is only 22. We have at least a whole decade of this man mashing the stitches off baseballs.

He also looks like he was marching next to MLK in the Civil Right’s Movement.

2. Where is Vlad Guerrero?

What a moment for Vladimir Guerrero Jr. 🙌

(via @MLB)pic.twitter.com/gPYljQxsP4

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) July 11, 2023

This is Vladimir Guerrero’s 2nd shot at the home run derby. In 2019, he lost by one homer to Pete Alonso and this year he finally took the trophy home. I respect Vladdy Jr embracing everything that comes with being named after one of the greatest hitters of all time.

But where was his dad?

PROUD and LOVE FOR MY SON

Congratulation Vlad Jr! ♥️

— Vladimir Guerrero (@VladGuerrero27) July 11, 2023

I feel like I haven’t seen Vladimir Guerrero since that strange 2011 Baltimore Orioles team that had 36-year-old Vlad DHing and 35-year-old Derrek Lee playing first base.

The season before, the team won 66 games, fired the manager, hired Buck Showalter and traded everyone in the offseason. Then they signed Derrek Lee and Vlad Guerrero.

They won 69 games. 3 game improvement bay-beeeee.

I’m like, 50% sure Buck Showalter is a scammer.

Anyway, it feels like you should be in attendance for your son winning a home run derby.

Like, clear your calendar for that Monday, bro. Don’t tweet about it like you’re behind bars or something. Come hang.

3. Let’s give Pete Alonso his flowers

As a Yankees fan, it’s very easy for me to call Peter Alonso a dork. He just comes off as a guy who quotes Family Guy all day long and laughs louder than anyone else in the room at his own lame ass jokes. He seems like a guy who would send his girlfriend those Jonah Hill texts.

But I have to give him respect for doing the home run derby every chance he gets. So many star players duck this event, Pete deserves credit for trying to revive the derby. We can’t complain about guys like Elly De La Cruz turning down the derby and not praise Alonso for always being down to mash baseballs on his day off.

Maybe he’s not as lame as I originally thought. Still looks nasty in a Mets jersey, though.

4. Adley Rutschman happy hour

Adley Rutschman switched to righty and took over in bonus time 🔥

(via @Orioles)pic.twitter.com/FIZN97aosY

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) July 11, 2023

I don’t know how I feel about the Baltimore Orioles yet.

They seem to have AI-generated white dudes who are all 5 tool players and future All-Stars but the Yankees are so average right now that they’re not even competing with Baltimore right now. This Yankees team isn’t good enough to even be angry at Baltimore yet.

I say all of that to say, I don’t think I hate Adley Rutschman yet so I can enjoy him switching sides of the plate in the middle of a home run derby and still hitting dingers. But the second the Yankees get back in the AL East picture, I will have nothing but the worst things you’ve ever heard, to say about this kid whose parents named him Adley.

5. Never invite Mookie Betts back

The 2023 MLB Home Run Derby consisted of 7 sluggers and Mookie Betts out there having a line-drive contest by himself. Shout out to him for trying something new. He’s one of the best players of his generation and also should never be in another home run derby ever again.

I know Mookie has 26 homers this season. Certain guys can rip bombs in the batting cages and some guys only do it in games. He’s like Ichiro of 2023. Wow, that’s the nicest thing I’ve ever said about Mookie Betts. I’m about to delete that.

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