Deadseriousness 2022 NFL Awards

The 2022 NFL season is over which means it’s time to hand out trophies to the best of the best but also the worst of the worst.

Here are the Deadseriousness 2022 NFL Awards:

Coach of the Year

Runner Up. Kyle Shannahan

Kyle Shanahan is the walking exception to a rule. The one nepotism coach who only has a job because his father is a legend but it turns out, Kyle is actually one of the best coaches on the planet and deserves all the credit in the world for going 13-4 with Trey Lance, Jimmy Garappolo and Brock Purdy.

1. Pete Carroll

When an organization trades their franchise QB before the season, it’s safe to assume that team will be in play for the no. 1 pick in the next draft. Not Pete Carroll’s Seahawks who will once again be in the playoffs and look even better without Russell Wilson.

Worst Coach of the Year

Runner Up: Josh McDaniels

Josh McDaniels showed up to Las Vegas and immediately ended Derek Carr’s career and I will NEVER sit here and pretend as if Carr is one of the greats who deserves to start but he was given Davante Adams and looked worse than he ever has and it’s impossible not to blame the ‘offensive genius’ who took over.

1. Jeff Saturday

Jeff Saturday went 1-7 and his only win was over Josh McDaniels which doesn’t even count as a win. Sure, Saturday wasn’t given much to work with as the Colts roster was atrocious but this ESPN employee did absolutely nothing to show he deserved to even be in a position with this much power with so little experience.

Brian Flores went 10-6 and then 9-8. Lost his job. Jeff Saturday is friends with Jim Irsay and will get to be the head coach as long as he feels like it. Love the NFL, bayybeeee.

Rookie of the Year

Runner Up: Garrett Wilson

We’re going to put offensive and defensive rookie of the year together mainly because I forgot about Defensive Player of the Year and I’m only catching this now as I’m proofreading before I send this article out. I’ve already spent like, 4 hours on this, man. Sauce Gardner is very good. Okay, that covers that.

But shout out to Garrett Wilson who managed to record 83 receptions and 1,103 receiving yards playing with Zach Wilson and Joe Flacco.

1. Brock Purdy

Although Brock Purdy only started 5 games this season, he threw 13 touchdowns and went undefeated in every start. There was no rookie quarterback that looked anywhere near as good as Purdy. Brock might be the new franchise quarterback of the 49ers. He might’ve ended Trey Lance’s career before it started.

Most Improved: Geno Smith

Bro, I really thought Geno Smith sucked, not going to lie. I watched him on the Jets. He never threw more touchdowns than interceptions. He looked like a backup quarterback being asked to play outside of his role. But look at the 2022 season this man had:

4,282 passing yards
366 rushing yards
31 touchdowns
70% completions
100.9 passer rating

The Seahawks should not be in the playoffs this year yet we’ll all be watching him jog onto the field. This is one of the most unique situations in NFL history. Geno Smith woke up one morning and decided he was HIM.

Worst Trade of the Year: Chase Claypool

I created this category exclusively to dunk on the Chicago Bears for this weird ass trade. The Bears traded away a 2nd round pick for Chase Claypool. Well, thanks to the Dolphins forfeiting a first round pick and the Bears having the worst record, the Steelers now have the 32nd pick in the draft and Chicago got, well, let’s look at Claypool’s season with the Bears:

7 games
14 catches
140 yards
0 touchdowns

Chicago was ROBBED. And speaking of robberies…

Biggest Thief: Kenny Golladay

Kenny Golladay signed a 4-year $72 million deal with the Giants in 2021. Since then, he’s caught only 43 passes in two seasons and has only ONE touchdown coming in a meaningless Week 18 game against the Eagles where both teams had already clinched the playoffs and the Giants started a quarterback who had never thrown an NFL pass before.

Most Washed

Runner Up: Ron Rivera

With the playoffs on the line, Ron Rivera chose Carson Wentz as his starting quarterback after benching him for the previous month. Wentz threw 3 of the nastiest interceptions ever and the Commanders were eliminated from playoff contention. But Ron Rivera had no idea they were eliminated.

Here’s the video.

I am absolutely gobsmacked that Rivera didn’t know that the Commanders could be eliminated today.

How does this happen in the modern NFL?
Did this impact his decision to start Wentz?

I’m so confused right now. pic.twitter.com/9BNCr26mxm

— Chad Ryan (@ChadwikoTWW) January 1, 2023

We’re at the finish line of Rivera’s coaching career, it appears.

1. Matt Ryan

Matt Ryan has quietly been falling off a cliff in Atlanta every year but the Falcons have been irrelevant for so long that Ryan’s decline largely went unnoticed. Ryan looked elderly out there. If the defense put any type of pressure on the pocket, Matt Ryan was going to get folded into origami because he was too slow to slide and move his feet.

Matt Ryan was sacked 38 times which was the 5th highest total. He played only 12 games and was sacked more than Mahomes, Trevor Lawrence, Aaron Rodgers, and basically every other QB in the NFL.

MVP

Runner Up. Patrick Mahomes

Patrick Mahomes is the best player in the NFL. You can debate about Josh Allen or Joe Burrow or Lamar Jackson but all of those other guys are competing for the no. 2 slot.

Let’s look at what Mahomes did to ’em this season:

5,250 passing yards
41 touchdowns
67% completions
105.2 passer rating
4 4th quarter comebacks
4 rushing touchdowns

Mad decent. Still just the runner up thooooooo.

1. Daniel Jones

Let’s be very real about what Daniel Jones accomplished this year. The Giants made the playoffs for the first time since 2016 with a brand new coaching staff and front office. The leading receivers on this roster was Richie James with 57 catches and Darius Slayton with 724 yards. These aren’t real NFL players. These are computer-generated names that Madden creates when you’ve played franchise mode for too long and all the actual real players retire.

No one in the entire league has done more with less than Danny Dimes who literally dragged his team to a 9-7-1 record and a playoff berth. He finished 10th in first downs behind Christian McCaffrey. When shit broke down, Jones was singlehandedly responsible for picking up first downs and keeping the chains moving.

PUT SOME RESPECT ON DANIEL JONES NAME