The Baltimore Ravens have 3 losses this season. 3 of those losses came from blowing double-digit leads in the 4th quarter. Their solution? Signing 35-year-old DeSean Jackson who was moments away from filing retirement paperwork. Interesting.
Let’s look at the Hall of Fame numbers Jackson put up last season:
- 16 games
- 20 catches
- 454 yards
- 2 touchdowns
Exactly what Baltimore is looking for.
The Ravens 1000% need help at receiver. Their only aerial threat is tight end Mark Andrews but he doesn’t stretch the field for this offense. They’re averaging 205.7 passing yards a game which ranks 24th in the NFL.
They get even worse when it comes to throwing it deep. Lamar Jackson has completed only 21% of his passes that traveled 20+ yards in the air. That’s the 2nd worst in the league behind only Daniel Jones—the quarterback who just beat him this past Sunday. Yike.
Baltimore only has two receivers with double-digit receptions and one of those receivers—Rashod Bateman—is out with an injury.
But why is DeSean Jackson the solution?
Well. the Ravens have a very specific fetish for elderly receivers and we at Deadseriousness do not kink shame. Every season, Baltimore brings in a receiver who is far past their prime and they do nothing to add value to the offense.
DeSean Jackson joins Mike Wallace, Michael Crabtree and Dez Bryant as the Ravens recent fetish-quenching signings.
Does signing DeSean Jackson save the Ravens season?
Oh, sweetie. No. But the front office gets their rocks off and there’s nothing wrong with that. Lamar Jackson is a one-man offense. He doesn’t need Jackson.
The good news for Jackson is that his anti-Semitic ass will fit right into the current news cycle as Kanye West declares war on the Jews.
In 2020, DeSean posted a weird IG post with q fake Hitler quote claiming Jews “will blackmail America. [They] will extort America, their plan for world domination won’t work if the Negroes know who they were.”
Still insane to just publicly quote Adolf fucking Hitler and it wasn’t even really a Hitler quote. He could’ve kept Hitler completely out of the post entirely and it still would’ve been a disgusting post.
But as Kanye West runs around crying about being banned from Instagram and Twitter, let’s use this current signing to remind ourselves of how totally fake ‘cancel culture’ is. DeSean Jackson hasn’t been a meaningful contributor to an NFL offense in about a half-decade and will get another million dollars in his bank account this season after claiming the Jews were joining forces to take over the world.
Go Ravens!
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