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shohei ohtani
MLB

On Monday night, Shohei Ohtani hit his major league-leading 13th homer on a pitch that was 4 miles off the plate yet somehow was punched into the parking lot.

Ohtani leads the majors in homers and he’s 4th with 32 RBIs. He’s also leading the Angels in stolen bases. He’s having a better season than his teammate, Mike Trout. Oh, he also happens to have a 2.01 ERA in 5 starts with 40 Ks, a 1.21 WHIP and leads the league with a .126 opponent’s batting average against him.

Shohei Ohtani has a better ERA than Gerrit Cole, Max Scherzer and Trevor Bauer’s bitch ass. He has more RBIs than Manny Machado, Nolan Arenado and Kris Bryant. He has more home runs then, well, everyone in the sport of baseball.

So he’s both one of the best hitters and best pitchers in baseball at the same exact time. He even goes out there and plays the outfield occasionally. There is nothing he cannot do on the field. He could probably come out the bullpen if the Angels were even in a playoff game.

I know Ohtani frequently gets injured and hasn’t been able to play a full year since his rookie season when he stole the Rookie of the Year award from Miguel Andujar and Gleyber Torres so let’s just give Shohei the MVP award now before he needs Tommy John surgery or his ACL explodes.

And I don’t want to hear about the standings. Yes, the Angels are below .500 and will probably miss the postseason again. But you cannot watch what Ohtani is doing this season and think that like, JD Martinez is better because the Red Sox have more wins.

Nah.

Especially after years of nonstop Mike Trout worshipping on this very same team. Give Shohei Ohtani the MVP award right now. Immediately. Asap.

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Lester Lee

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Creator of Deadseriousness. Welcome to the mind palace of a weirdo obsessed with sports and pop culture. Walk with me.

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