New England Patriots down 10-13, feet up, comfy in field goal range. Barring an embarrassing, psyche-destroying missed field goal, sending Patriots kicker Andy Borregales into a downward spiral, alcohol on his breath at the team facility tomorrow, fights with the Mrs., nights spent looking for fights, soon, the voices arrive…
OR
A miraculous field goal block. It’s getting late…
38 seconds, Drake Maye scrambles for a first down.
Wait, they’re about to score a touchdown. We’re free. I can go to bed.
Sacked. Pancaked. Squashed. Flattened. Fine. They kick the field goal, and it’s extras. Whatever. I’ll never complain about more things I like—honestly, a personal flaw.
Drake Maye, in field goal range with the coaching staff preparing their OT strategy—launches a Carson Wentz directly at Seahawks corner Josh Jobe.
JOSH JOBE TOE TAP INT
NEvsSEA on NBC/Peacock
Stream on @NFLPlus pic.twitter.com/MrmQx0a3fo— NFL (@NFL) September 10, 2026
3rd INT for Maye.
Ball game.
Back-to-back losses to the Seattle Seahawks.
Mike Tomlin and the new NBC crew can wrap their little postgame show up before midnight and we can all get at least one full REM cycle in thanks to Drake Maye, sacrificing the Patriots season-opener to help the Peacock broadcast end on time, get all the fans home safe.
This is what you want out of your franchise quarterback. 3 interceptions and an L against a team whose starting quarterback limped off the field after the 5th play of the game, out with a hip injury.
It wasn’t Drake Maye who let backup QB Drew Lock get this ham sandwich to Jaxson Smith-Njigba:
JSN is so sick.
Drew Lock threw an absolute bologna sandwich…. pic.twitter.com/fRsUL8Rdv4
— Dead Serious (@Deadseriousness) September 10, 2026
JSN finally shed the Seahawks corners, treating every route like a Kenny Omega main event, physical, exhausting, probably some cheating involved—Seattle’s first touchdown of the game, before Lock brought them back down the field for 3.
10 unanswered points, Patriots defense letting Drew Lock walk them down. Yike.
[a podcast with fake, paid botted views, poisoning the social media well further] “Is this Diana Russini’s fault???”The Patriots host the Pittsburgh Steelers next week to test what type of time Maye is on this season.
Meanwhile, Seahawks have a bye week against the Cardinals—Sam Darnold gets a week of rest.
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