The Yankees took home the 3-2 victory over the Texas Rangers, continuing their methodical dismantling of the American League.
Business as usual. Winners of 10 of their last 11 games, winning like that crackhead from Major League kept shouting between overdoses.
We can discuss Charlie Sheen being a loser all day, but I’m here to write about one of the greatest baseball players ever.
Jacob deGrom is the GOAT
Jacob deGrom is like a hero of mine.
He survived some knuckleheads in Queens. Stayed locked in while his teammates fell through the cracks, became statistics. Matt Harvey almost completely void of his sense of smell.
Jacob would not give up a fucking run, yo.
Going into last season, deGrom had the lowest career WHIP and the second-lowest earned run average of any starting pitcher in the live-ball era.
2-time Cy Young winner, a slider on a yo-yo string he’d yoink away from swinging batters and a fastball that muted batters.
Here’s what deGrom did against the Yankees:
- 6 IP
- 3 hits
- 0 walks
- 1 earned run
- 5 Ks
Jacob deGrom, Dirty 81mph Curveball. 😨 pic.twitter.com/euNVQZUyMC
— Rob Friedman (@PitchingNinja) April 29, 2026
Salute to one of the GOATs.
I like Cam Schlittler. Named like one of Adolf’s most respected advisors, from Boston, so not far off, Fastballs down your chest. 6 scoreless innings, 8ks, untouchable.
His 49 strikeouts lead the American League.
Just won a pitcher’s duel against a man who dedicated his life to perfecting the art of stopping runners.
The torch now burns in the Bronx.
But Cam Schlittler couldn’t have won without the gold glove efforts behind him.
This is the coolest Yankees outfield ever
Trent Grisham stashed up, diving, retrieving inconceivable outs, the fly older brother who put you on to Supreme Clientele.
TRENT GRISHAM FOLLOWS BELLINGER WITH A PLAY OF HIS OWN pic.twitter.com/knA6IXtAom
— Dillard Barnhart (@BarnHasSpoken2) April 29, 2026
Cody Bellinger, edible just kicked in, bat over his shoulder like a miner dragging his bags out of the caves after a long day of shortening his life expectancy, fried.
Belli goes a long way to run down this ball from Nimmo and make the catch! pic.twitter.com/Y55U1Qu6HW
— Talkin’ Yanks (@TalkinYanks) April 29, 2026
Aaron Judge, another bomb.
Aaron Judge is tied again for the MLB lead with home run No. 12! pic.twitter.com/EuYYSOGiXT
— MLB (@MLB) April 29, 2026
12th home run.
Most in baseball.
According to Katie Sharp, Aaron Judge is the first player in Yankees history with at least 12 HR, 20 walks and 5 steals in a player’s first 30 games of a season.
I loved Gary Sheffield, Bernie Williams and Hideki Matsui in 04.
Melky Cabrera, Johnny Damon and Boby Abreu were an interesting crew in 06.
In 2014 the Yankees had Ichiro, Brett Gardner, Jacoby Ellsbury, Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Beltran.
Lot of weird combos.
But the Trent Grisham-Cody Bellinger-Aaron Judge holy trinity is cool as shit.
Feels like I should remark on the Rangers a bit.
Fucking Jake Burger.
Sorry, I have no Rangers takes at this moment.
Just awe this organization runs out a dude named Jake Burger every night.
Of course Jake Burger was 0-for-4 with 2 disgusting strike outs.
Jake Burger looks like his name is Jake Burger.
Plays like it too.
I will not be taking the Texas Ranger seriously as a professional baseball club until they significantly reduce the amount of Jake Burger.
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