Admittedly, I took a step back from the WNBA last season. Two years ago, reading the name “Caitlin Clark” made my head ring. I’d see a clip of a common foul with some loud dog whistle like “how much money could Caitlin Clark win suing these primates?” or “these chimps are ruining their meal ticket” or whatever someone with an unironic American flag emoji in their name, and I’d Tua Tagovailoa on my coach, like Professor X’s dementia was blasting my brain. Go watch Old Man Logan. Fantastic work from everyone.
I didn’t want to participate in a space occupied by opportunists and the mentally ill. The laser pointer shining in another corner of the house for the cats to catch.
Hope springs eternal. A new crop of freshmen joins the league.
I’m back if y’all will have me.
Let’s go through every first-round pick of the 2026 WNBA Draft and hand out some report cards.
1. Dallas Wings: Azzi Fudd
Position: Shooting Guard
College: UConn
Height: 5-11
Age: 23
The planets aligned to unite Azzi Fudd with her backcourt partner Paige Bueckers in Dallas.
Fudd and Bueckers won a national championship together, proof of concept—besides the obvious off-court affection.
Women’s basketball is a sport where I imagine it’s not uncommon to play on a team where two date. Not too different from working at a restaurant or one of those TikTok content houses in LA.
Fudd shoots the net off the rim, capable of catch-and-shooting in motion. Azzi and Paige are the NSFW fan fiction of Klay Thompson and Steph Curry.
If this relationship sours, you can flip Fudd for a huge package, surrounding a scorned Paige with mercenaries, another viable championship strategy.
Options.
Grade: A+
2. Minnesota Lynx: Olivia Miles
Position: Point Guard
College: TCU
Height: 5-10
Age: 23
The 2025 Lynx finished 1st in offensive rating and 1st in defensive rating, but a Napheesa Collier ankle injury in Game 3 cost Minnesota a chance, as they lost to Phoenix in the Semifinals.
Thanks to the incompetence of the Chicago Sky, the best team in the league got their hands on the second pick, snatching up Olivia Miles to ease Collier’s workload.
Napheesa is the back-to-back MVP runner-up. Olivia Miles could be the next Lindsay Whalen, a perennial All-Star, A BBQ grill and some charcoal to a caveman. Wait til you see this wheel Olivia Miles invented.
Grade: A
3. Seattle Storm: Awa Fam Thiam
Position: Center
College: Spain
Height: 6-4
Age: 19
It’s very possible we look back at this draft, questioning why Dallas and Minnesota passed up on the best player in the WNBA.
The teenager who’s already capable of locking down the paint on both sides of the ball, but she can shoot with range, quick enough to generate steals and her own solo fastbreaks.
The WNBA is a different beast. It’s kill or be killed. Skylar Diggins keeps a shiv in her wristband.
Fam Thiam joins a crowded frontcourt next to Dominique Malonga, the No. 2 pick in last year’s draft and Ezi Magbegor’s returning in free agency.
The Storm are knocking you through stanchions, 3 giants playing red rover in the paint.
Grade: A+
4. Washington Mystics: Lauren Betts
Position: Center
College: UCLA
Height: 6-7
Age: 22
Named Most Outstanding Player and led UCLA to its first national championship, this is the summer of Lauren Betts.
10 years ago, a guaranteed no. 1 overall pick—but as the WNBA becomes more skilled, more perimeter oriented, post-scoring is going out of fashion. But all fads return. Lauren Betts’s skillset, now retro😎. She’s Furbie.
Even if her offense isn’t a one-to-one copy and paste from college, she’ll still lead the league in blocks most seasons.
Grade: A-
5. Chicago Sky: Gabriela Jaquez
Position: Guard
College: UCLA
Height: 6-0
Age: 22
UCLA is soooo back.
Gabriela is the swiss army knife who does whatever’s required to ensure her team has more points on the board than the other.
Her brother, Jamie Jaquez, drafted to the Miami Heat, an organization with pride and order, while Gabriela joins the Chicago Sky, seemingly shredding documents and burning evidence like they were under FBI investigation.
The no. 5 pick feels like a reach for someone I can only envision as a role player. I reckon this is a shallow draft not loaded with stars and Jaquez may establish the standards and regulations no one else in Chicago is willing to.
Feels like the Chicago Sky still suck tho.
Grade: D
6. Toronto Tempo: Kiki Rice
Position: Guard
College: UCLA
Height: 5-11
Age: 22
UCLA IS SOOOO BAAAAAACK.
A player UCLA head coach Cori Close said, “set the standard” is the exact type of person you want to build your expansion franchise around.
Rice brings a locker room together and it’s easy to follow a big guard getting her hands dirty defensively, locking gals up on the perimeter.
Kiki Rice recorded 3 steals in UCLA’s championship victory over a South Carolina team that never turns the ball over.
Grade: A
7. Portland Fire: Iyana Martín
Position: Guard
College: Spain
Height: 5-9
Age: 20
The first-ever WNBA draft pick for the Portland Fire, Iyana Martín fits the vibe Portland is building. An international hub led by Slovenian GM Vanja Černivec and British head coach Alex Sarama, Portland will be communicating through a series of grunts and claps.
Iyana Martin won’t make her WNBA debut until the following season so Portland is stashing the Euro guard away for a year. Why not? They’re in no hurry to compete.
Grade: D+
8. Golden State Valkyries: Flau’jae Johnson [Traded To Seattle Storm]
Position: Shooting Guard
College: LSU
Height: 5-10
Age: 22
Flau’jae is a big physical guard who’ll get up in your mesh shorts.
Remember, Seattle drafted Awa Fam Thiam earlier in this draft. The Storm are building a defensive fortress. You fly into Seattle, death becomes her.
9. Washington Mystics: Angela Dugalić
Position: Forward
College: UCLA
Height: 6-4
Age: 24
Angela Dugalić reunites with her UCLA frontcourt partner, UCLA. Unfortunately, the talent sort of fell off here. Washington owned a ton of picks this year, covered their eyes and threw some darts.
If the plan is to reorient the organization around Lauren Betts, drafting her college friend licks the boot to a shine but Angela won’t affect WNBA games, at least not on the court.
Grade: C-
10. Indiana Fever: Raven Johnson
Position: Guard
College: South Carolina
Height: 5-8
Age: 23
Infamously shooed away by Caitlin Clark, their viral moment leading losers who use the internet to blow steam to her mentions, mocking her endlessly, following their favorite Bob Saget-faced brand, Raven Johnson now Clark’s backup PG.
Realistically, Raven could play alongside Caitlin, especially in a matchup against one of the league’s top guards, Johnson gives Clark a break on defense to throw knuckleballs over the heads of teammates cutting to the basket.
Grade: A-
11. Washington Mystics: Cotie McMahon
Position: Forward
College: Ole Miss
Height: 6-0
Age: 21
The Washington Mystics fired their GM, Jamila Wideman , April 6th, like, a week ago.
Head coach Sydney Johnson, the de facto GM in the meantime, didn’t need much help from the scouting department here, Lauren Betts, Angela Dugalic and now Cotie McMahon, the best players left on the board, just $20 bills falling into his wallet.
Grade: A-
12. Connecticut Sun: Nell Angloma
Position: Forward
College: France
Height: 5-11
Age: 19
Let’s check the footages:
Nell Angloma vs. Lublin (12/2/26)
28 PTS | 3 REB | 1 BLK pic.twitter.com/7Tbm8oiR17
— Cristian (@DouBasket28) February 12, 2026
Pacome Dadiet under different circumstances.
Grade: B
13. Atlanta Dream: Madina Okot
Position: Center
College: South Carolina
Height: 6-6
Age: 21
Picked up the rock at age 16, 5 years later, first round draft pick, an Atlanta Dream. Okot led the conference with 10.6 rebounds a game this season, added a little 3-point shot to the repertoire. Madina may be the steal of the draft. Especially now that she plays with Angel Reese, a one-woman clickbait market, all eyes on her every breath, the algorithm awaits the next contrived race war.
Madina Okot’s gonna get views.
Grade: A-
14. Seattle Storm: Taina Mair
Position: Guard
College: Duke
Height: 5-foot-9
Age: 22
A small guard who shot 38% from the field in college, joining a WNBA full of women who will powerbomb her into the courtsides just to prevent a fastbreak.
Better players were available on the board, including the woman picked right after her.
However, the star guard who led Duke to the Elite 8 is going to a Seattle team surrounded by giants. It may be one of the only teams where her lack of size won’t be too much of a burden to carry.
Grade: C-
15. Connecticut Sun: Gianna Kneepkens
Guard: Guard
College: UCLA
Height: 6-0
Age: 23
Connecticut adds one of the best shooters in the class. Kneepkens’s finished Top 5 in conference for 3-point shooting percentage the last two seasons.
42% from 3.
93% from the free-throw line.
The future Houston Dynamo have their out-of-timeout catch-and-shooter ready to go.
Wait, who’s playing for UCLA next year if everyone’s in the WNBA now?
UCLA is so over.
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