Last season, the Houston Rockets made the playoffs, first time post-Covid, post-James Harden, post-Daryl Morey, post-haste.
7-game battle with the Golden State Warriors but lost in the first round.
The problem was clear:
Houston needed playmaking in the halfcourt.
Their defense could generate turnovers—getting Amen Thompson out for highlight reel fastbreaks—but when the game slowed down, no one in that offense knew what to do.
They ranked dead fucking last in field goal percentage in clutch time last season. In the final 5 minutes, those boys were chucking up contested bricks at the backboard.
Enter Kevin Durant—a 37-year-old moody internet troll, who’s convinced himself he is innocent—his lack of success outside of Golden State falls at the feet of everyone else but him. His coaches, his teammates, the media, everyone is wrong but Durant.
Kevin is one of the greatest shooters ever.
For sure.
Currently shooting 51% from the field, 40% from 3 and 89% from the free throw line.
The usual.
But Durant is in no way a “playmaker”.
He’s never created opportunities for his teammates.
18 years in the NBA and I’ve never watched a Durant passing highlight.
At 37, he can barely dribble.
KD has nearly 20 more turnovers this season than he did last year.
He leads the Rockets in turnovers.
In Monday night’s loss to the Los Angeles Lakers, Kevin Durant looked overwhelmed.
In the 2nd half, KD scored just 2 points on 1-for-5 shooting, committing 6 turnovers—including back-to-back, launching a pass into the courtsides and catching an 8-second violation. mindlessly walking up the court with no urgency.
Kevin Durant literally SOLD this game. He can’t even get the ball over the half-court line without getting an 8-second violation 😭
BRO IS GAMBLING
pic.twitter.com/15LT8b87hV— Hater Report (@HaterReport) March 17, 2026
It was as if the Monstars returned from Moron Mountain to absorb his talents.
One of the greatest players ever, completely neutralized by double teams and defensive pressure.
As much as I believe Kevin Durant is a loser,—both personally and profesionally—spending all of his freetime on Twitter shitting on his teammates and then bringing that shitty energy into the arena every night—like he’s better than everyone around him—despite being completely irrelevant to the title picture since he tore his achilles—the Rockets problems extend past Durant’s inability to do anything but run from 3-point line to 3-point line like old Dirk Nowitzki, just getting light cardio in and some shots up.
Will Fred VanVleet save this offense?
Remember when I said the Rockets had the league’s worst shooting percentage in the clutch last season? Yea, that was Fred VanVleet’s pen.
In clutch time, FVV shot 27% from the field and 23% from 3.
If Fred VanVleet didn’t tear his ACL before the season, the Rockets would still have no idea how to put the ball in the basket at the ends of these games.
Their entire offense, for two straight years now, has been entirely reliant on Steven Adams snatching offensive rebounds, stealing extra possessions and shot attempts while the defense is scrambling and out of position.
How to fix the Rockets offense?
Houston’s problems do not solely fall on the shoulders of Durant. Ime Udoka’s had the entire season to figure out a way to relieve the pressure on Kevin Durant.
He’s done nothing.
Guard Aaron Holiday, a crucial player last season when Houston finished 2nd, a non-factor, regular DNP: coach’s decisions.
The team can’t even get the ball up through a full court press, and Ime isn’t even trying to figure out new options.
But the Rockets are owned by a cheap restauranteer who made his fortune paying his employees the least amount legally possible, so after signing Ime Udoka to a 6-year, $66 million deal last summer, Tilman Fertilla isn’t about to fire Udoka and payout his remaining salary.
Ime isn’t going anywhere.
It’s up to GM Rafael Stone, to fill the holes in this roster.
If I’m Stone, here are my two biggest priorities this offseason:
1. Shop Kevin Durant
I’m not saying trade Kevin Durant—mainly because I don’t know if any competing teams are watching Kevin Durant gingerly scoring the most useless 25 points and thinking to themselves, “we need this asshole who hates all of his teammates in our building”.
Maybe Portland, with Damian Lillard returning, would go all in for one last hoorah.
Maybe they can package his contract in a Giannis deal.
But after watching the Phoenix Suns excel in Durant’s absence, I imagine the Rockets will be rejuvenated when the guy who called Jabari Smith Jr retarded to his group chat of internet dorks is playing elsewhere.
2. Get a fucking point guard
Fred VanVleet was never the answer—a stop-gap to help a young squad keep their heads above water—but if Houston genuinely believes they can go head-to-head with Oklahoma City Thunder—a team full of wolves forcing turnovers, putting ballhandlers in hell—then they’ll need a guard who controls and maximizes every possession.
Perhaps a dramatic James Harden reunion.
I’ve seen Ja Morant hit several game-winners. I’ve also seen Tari Eason dribble the ball off his sneakers at the ends of games.
*whispers* Keep an eye on Dejounte Murray—who just dropped 35 on the Rockets last week. Give him one more offseason to fully heal and he may be the exact type of player the Rockets need.
Regardless, the Rockets, as currently constructed and coached, may not even get out of the first round this year. Again.
Houston put all of their eggs into the basket of a man who mocks his teammates behind their backs, has the court vision of Deadpool’s roommate and, if he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, which is a coin toss really, he’s a 7-foot-tall ice sculpture standing in the corner, pouting.
Loser shit.
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