The Oklahoma City Thunder are the 2024-25 NBA Champions. Congrats to them.
(You can read that last sentence sarcastically or sincerely depending on your own personal mood. I could not tell a grand jury which way I meant it.)
This winners and losers list will describe which players, coaches, GMs or owners are winners and losers going forward.
We’re projecting ahead.
We just watched a whole ass year of basketball. Where will all of our favorite characters be next season?
Let’s start with the winners.
1. Sam Presti
This is Sam Presti’s third shot at this.
Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and James Harden did it.
I know we’re supposed to laugh that three eventual MVPs couldn’t win a championship together but no one had a real shot when LeBron James signed with Miami.
Sure, the Thunder lost the 2012 NBA Finals in 5 games but most of the games were close and everyone was losing to LeBron.
We act like LeBron was in the Finals every year from winning raffles.
LeBron is one of the greatest basketball players in the history of history.
Durant and Westbrook were 23 years old. James Harden was 22.
They overachieved.
Durant snuck out in the middle of the night to stow-away on the Warriors ship and Presti pivoted to a Westbrook/Paul George team that surprisingly didn’t look like dogshit.
The 2018-19 OKC Thunder finished 4th in defensive rating and 10th in net rating.
Paul George finished 3rd in MVP.
This bullshit actually worked.
Paul George wanted to play for his hometown and most GMs would’ve started tanking and eventually lost their jobs.
Sam Presti got back a haul that led to this year’s chip.
NBA GMs don’t get third chances.
You lose Harden, Durant, George AND Westbrook—your key card stops working.
This ambitious sociopath low-key built a team around Luguentz Dort.
I’ve never seen anything like this.
Jalen Williams was the 12th pick in the 2022 draft and scored 40 points in an NBA Finals game.
Jalen Williams 40 PTS, 66 TS% in game 5 of the finals pic.twitter.com/w5EPwlSZsZ
— Automatic (@automaticnba) June 17, 2025
Luck placed Chet Holmgren before their feet—a player who, at 22 years old—looks like he has the potential to be the best center of his generation—a generation he shares with a 9-foot-tall baquette, built in a laboratory to perfect the game of basketball.
Sam Presti shouldn’t be here.
He traded for Chris Paul one year and accidentally went to the playoffs.
Presti is the GOAT.
It’s contrarian to think otherwise.
2. Tyrese Haliburton
I know the “superstar” conversation can engulf any of us with a smartphone but in the modern era—where we’ve seen seven different champions the last 7 years—whether or not someone is famous enough to win doesn’t even matter.
What are we doing?
Why would I care about shoe sales and IG followers at a time like this?
There’s a new class of players. Players who are good enough to lead a team to the NBA Finals.
Jimmy Butler mastered this.
He was never that fucking good.
But he was a sicko who could blackout some games and hit the most difficult jumpshots you’ve ever seen (but probably will lose to a superior player from the other conference.)
Haliburton will randomly have games where he only takes, like, 5 shots—but the Pacers would not have taken the Thunder to the final minute of Game 7 if it weren’t for Haliburton’s heroics.
Let’s quickly look at all the big buzzer-beaters Tyrese hit this postseason:
- 2-pointer to take a 1-point lead with 0.3 left in Game 1 of the NBA Finals
- 2-pointer at the buzzer to tie and send Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals to OT
- 3-pointer to take 1-point lead with 1.1 left in Game 2 of the 2nd Round
- Dunk to take 1-point lead with 1.3 left in Game 5 of the 1st round
Tyrese Haliburton is a legend.
Man, that statue is going to looking nothing like him.
3. Philadelphia 76ers
Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong with the Sixers.
(That’s the first time anyone’s ever used that phrase)
But what if this is the worst it’ll ever be?
Tyresse Maxey, Jared McCain, Paul George, Joel Embiid, and whoever they select with the 4th overall pick.
I am a believer in players being injury prone but what happened last year was some biblical shit.
God sent the flood to Philly.
And the locusts.
Some first sons.
All that shit.
I legit think someone got eaten by a whale.
I’m not sure.
I stopped paying attention once Quentin Grimes turned into 1999 Grant Hill.
Quentin Grimes hometown 46–13-4 pic.twitter.com/g3Y0kT8qCa
— Brett Usher (@UsherNBA) March 18, 2025
(Revelations.)
Joel Embiid was the MVP two years ago.
He only played 19 games this season. When the 2025-26 season starts, Embiid won’t be coming off a knife fight with the Knicks and the OLYMPICS.
What if Embiid is just MVP caliber again?
And now Jayson Tatum, Damian Lillard and Tyrese Haliburton are just wiped off the map.
I can’t stress enough that the 4th overall pick could be someone who instantly makes an impact like Jared McCain did last year.
The Sixers may rise from the ashes and finish next season with home-court advantage in an Eastern Conference full of crabs in a barrel.
4. Giannis Antetokounmpo
If Giannis requested a trade tomorrow, how many Bucks fans would fault him?
He just had one of the best seasons of his NBA career while Kyle Kuzma scored 0 fucking points in a playoff game.
This is like when LeBron signed with Miami.
Everyone was okay with him leaving the Cavs. LeBron won the MVP in the 09-10 season and, shockingly, the LeBron/Shaq/Antwan Jamison 3-man game didn’t lead to a parade.
(I know Cavs fans lit jerseys on fire but I think that had more to do with the very public “The Decision” where many assumed he wouldn’t have a televised event if he weren’t re-signing but for the most part, even Cavs fans knew the LeBron-Zydrunas Ilgauskas pick and roll had been figured out, to say the least)
I’m sure folks in Milwaukee would understand if Giannis looked around, saw a locker room full of less-thans, but saw the GM that put together these Bad News Bears signing a contract extension for some fucking reason, and realized he may be anchored to the Titantic.
Unlike Kevin Durant in Phoenix—who put up some great but ultimately meaningless shooting percentages—the Bucks entire season was on Giannis’s back and he finished 3rd in MVP voting.
He’s earned the right to be free.
Most star players who get traded are chased out of town with pitchforks and torches.
Giannis may be crowd-surfed to the airport.
5. Jimmy Butler
All Jimmy Butler wanted to do was get paid.
Miami recognized he was no longer good enough to be the best player on a Finals team and Jimmy Butler proved them right.
Steph Curry went down in Game 1 of the 2nd round and Jimmy Butler whimpered to the finish line—scoring 14 points in Game 4 and 17 points in Game 5.
He was a -30 in Game 4 with 2 turnovers to 3 assists.
He took a single-digit number of shots.
He barely participated.
Didn’t matter.
Jimmy Butler got his 2-year, $121 million extension.
Back to selling shit coffee and hanging with Mark Wahlberg.
6. Zion Williamson
This is all assuming he will be traded or just straight up cut this offseason.
Zion’s personal life is on fire.
It’s not mindblowing to me that the young millionaire superstar with low self-esteem from everyone calling him a fat underachiever every day, finds the company of women to be a confidence-producing endeavor but like, your sex can’t keep making the news.
99% of people have sex and never make the news.
Every time Zion has sex feels like a trending topic.
But he may be saved.
Rarely in life, especially professional sports, does a player like Zion ever get a real second chance to succeed.
Like, what if the Brooklyn Nets roll the dice and try to run their team around Zion—a player capable of filling the arena by scoring 20 points, every fucking night, by sure force of will?
His jumpshot looks like it hurts him to execute like Wolverine pulling out his claws.
Zion scored 24.6 points in only 30 games this season—but he shot 23% from 3.
When on the court, Zion had the highest usage rate on the Pelicans.
The player with the ball in his hands most of the game shot 23% from 3 and he was still unguardable because he is the most physically dominant player without Bell’s palsy.
And he may be gifted a second chance to become the Prince Who Was Promised.
7. Los Angeles Lakers
We don’t even have to talk about the $10 billion sale to an ownership group proven to spend for championships.
The Dallas Mavericks slipped Luka Doncic into their mailbox.
This organization had no plans for post-LeBron and Dallas gifted them with another decade of greatness by handing them the most dominant offensive force not named Jokic.
I have criticisms of Luka’s work ethic but it sounds like he was free to do whatever he pleased in Dallas. He was the boy king and all of his royal subjects walked on eggshells and Starburst wrappers.
Now he has a change of scenery to Los Angeles—the home of the eating disorder.
He’s under the wings of LeBron James—who spends an entire country’s GDP on his body every year—and JJ Redick—who appears to be a psychotic perfectionist who the world should be thankful he chose basketball because he would’ve been a prolific serial killer.
(Still not sure we caught the right guy at Gilgo Beach. Interesting how close JJ lives to the scene of the crime.)
Luka might 36o windmill dunk the first game of the 25-26 season.
All this team needs is a center Luka can throw lobs to and the Lakers are right back in the title picture.
8. Nikola Jokic
Hey man, Nikola Jokic is really fucking good at basketball.
Let’s just take a quick look at his 2nd place MVP finish season:
- 70 games
- 36.7 minutes a game
- 29.6 points
- 57% from the field
- 41% from 3
- 12.7 rebounds
- 10.2 assists
Jokic averaged a triple-double.
I’ll never forgive Russell Westbrook for diminishing the accomplishment of averaging a triple-double.
When Westbrook won the MVP in 2017, he shot 42% from the field and 34% from 3.
Jokic had the 9th-best field goal percentage and shot better from 3 than Kyrie Irving, Donovan Mitchell and Steph Curry.
Oh, and Westbrook committed 200 MORE TURNOVERS in 2017.
Nikola came off an Olympic run where he took a team of cab drivers and chain smokers to the gold medal game against America—where he almost singlehandedly defeated LeBron, Steph and Durant.
He carried a team with no more than 4 good players to a 7-game series loss to the eventual champions in OKC—all while not having a head coach.
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and the Thunder deserve all the credit in the world.
Tyrese Haliburton became the king of Indianapolis.
But I don’t want us to forget that Nikola Jokic had one of the greatest years in basketball history.
I believe Tim Duncan is the greatest big man of all time. Jokic is one more of these seasons away from me changing my mind.
9. Josh Giddey
Josh Giddy was a weirdo.
My guy was a whole ass professional basketball player trying to woo a girl who had geometry first period and maybe just had her first period.
But like my hopes for Zion Williamson, Josh Giddey moved to a new city and was able to re-focus on basketball—having the best season of his career on a Chicago Bulls team with Patrick fucking Williams as the second highest paid player in the locker room.
The Bulls still kind of suck but at least they have a 22-year old, improving point guard to run their offense—whatever the fuck that offense even is.
10. Miles Bridges
Although Miles Bridges may be one of the worst people in the NBA, he kept his head down and averaged 20.3 points this season on a team where the top two players—LaMelo Ball and Brandon Miller—played less than 50 games due to injuries.
I think Bridges has a role waiting for him on a better team.
He only makes $25 million next season and $22 million the year after.
He played good enough basketball this season to be rewarded with a liferaft, rescuing him from Charlotte, and a potential to play meaningful, playoff basketball next spring, far better than the position he should be in (bottom bunk at the local prison).
Good things happen to those who don’t strangle women.
11. Cade Cunningham
Cade Cunningham was soooo close to being Trevor Lawrence. [derogatory]
This was one of the proclaimed “generational” talents. He was the top recruit in the country heading to college (although, ESPN ranked Jalen Green ahead of him. Not quite).
And he wasn’t doing shit in Detroit but losing and sitting on the sidelines in a walking boot watching them lose.
Last season, they had the longest losing streak in NBA history.
He was oft-injured and wasn’t a great shooter. He was darkskin, lightskin LaMelo Ball.
Let’s just go game-by-game for Cade against the Knicks in the first round:
- Game 1: 21 points, 12 assists, 6 rebounds
- Game 2: 33 points. 52% shooting, 12 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals
- Game 3: 24 points, 11 assists, 7 rebounds, 4 steals, 2 blocks
- Game 4: 25 points, 10 assists, 10 rebounds, 4 blocks
- Game 5: 24 points, 8 assists, 8 rebounds, 2 steals, 1 block
- Game 6: 23 points, 8 assists, 7 rebounds, 3 steals, 1 block
You can pencil in Cade Cunningham for the All-Star every year for the next 7-8 years.
Replace Tim Hardaway and Tobias Harris with players who weren’t in high school at the same time I was and Cade could have his own Tyrese Haiburton Finals run.
12. Nico Harrison
I know all of your favorite podcasters raced to call Dallas Mavericks GM, Nico Harrison, every insult to his intelligence because he dared trade Luka Doncic—one of the worst defenders in the NBA—for Anthony Davis—one of the best.
But at the end of the day, the Lakers won exactly one (1) more playoff game than Dallas. The Lakers are attached to a man in his 40s, holding the team hostage, demanding they fill the roster with his offspring—while the Mavericks are about to add Cooper Flagg—one of the most highly respected prospects in recent league history.
13. Chauncey Billups
Man, I could’ve sworn Chauncey was a terrible coach but halfway through this season, he unleashed the young pups and they turned into pitbulls.
Now, most of their end-of-season wins were against tanking teams but in any other reality, the Portland Trailblazers would have just been one of those tanking teams as well—but instead, they blew the doors off the Wizards and Jazz and Nets and all those losers.
The Portland Trailblazers finished 3 games away from the play-in.
They had the same record as a team with Kevin Durant and Devin Booker.
They have some real guys on this team:
- 24-year-old Toumani Camara
- 21-year-old Shaedon Sharpe
- 24-year-old Deni Avdija
- 20-year-old Scoot Henderson
- 20-year-old Donovan Clingan
Get another young role player/potential starter and some vets and Portland will be stepping over the aging body of the Warriors and the convulsing body of the Sacramento Kings.
14. De’Aaron Fox
Speaking of the Kings convulsing body…
In 2022-23, the Kings lit the beam and returned to the playoffs for the first time in 16 years.
They took the Golden State Warriors to 7 games in the first round and lost to a Steph Curry 50-ball.
Happens to the best of them.
That guy is really good at that.
Uh, then they brought the same exact team back next season with no real changes and couldn’t make it through the play-in tournament.
And now the team fired their coach and traded their best player to build around DeMar DeRozan and Zach LaVine.
Ew.
De’Aaron Fox not only jumped out of a crashing plane but he parachuted into the waiting arms of a 10-foot-tall croissant—who has the potential to become the greatest basketball player of his generation.
Fox and Wemby both instantly suffered injuries, so we never saw their final form but that means they got more time off, more rest, and they’ll be dominating defenses come October.
15. Adam Silver
They said his ratings were too low, his in-season tournament was dumb, his schedule was too ardous, his broadcasts sucked, he was a bald bitch.
And he just made a bajillion dollars for the league—like he does at the end of every NBA season.
Players will be making $100 million a year soon—while podcasters and their followers mimic the same lame talking points about how the players score too much or too little or get fouled too much or the refs aren’t calling fouls or blah blah.
16. James Harden
Could’ve sworn James Harden was done playing important basketball games and somehow, he and Kawhi Leonard got into w first round WAR with Nikola Jokic and the Denver Nuggets.
And James Harden almost won that shit.
Harden played 79 games last season and averaged 22.8.
He was a fucking All-Star.
At age 35.
James doesn’t do any press or interviews ever.
He seems like a real bore with nothing interesting to say, but if he sat down to talk about his expectations coming into last season, I think even he would be shocked by how well he played.
17. NBC and 18. Amazon
TNT fucked the All Star game up.
I’m not one who believes the All-Star game is “dead” by any means.
I’m an adult.
I wish more adults would recognize that not every product is for them.
The 2002 NBA All-Star game helped me fall in love with the sport.
I was 9.
Watching Michael Jordan out there with this new generation of stars was insane.
That’s all it took.
The best basketball players ever just playing basketball.
I’m not sure if younger Lester would’ve been so enthused if that entire night was hijacked by Kevin Hart stealing a paycheck to half ass a hosting gig and a farewell tour to the fucking pre and post game broadcasters—as if they had spent the last two decades secluded from the world, working tirelessly on a cure for cancer.
They laughed about not knowing 90% of the players and called Charles Barkley fat.
Who cares?
They got treated like 9/11 first responders while the All-Stars played a weird pick up game in the background—that I might have enjoyed if TNT didn’t bring in Draymond Green to spend the day shitting on it.
ESPN is even worse.
The game is secondary to commercials—as they stuff as many advertisers as they can with no real interest in the actual on-court product.
NBC and Amazon have games next season.
All they have to do is be better than Kendrick Perkins mumbling nonsense to himself and they won.
And now, onto the Losers…
1. Cleveland Cavaliers
I saw Tyrese Haliburton tapping out on the hardwood like Kurt Angle was about to win the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania and my first thought was “the Cavs are going to just run it back“.
(That’s a lie. My first thought was “that looks like it fucking huuuuuuuuurts”.)
I know as I’m typing this, trades are happening left and right (we’ll get to them as soon as I’m done making fun of the Cavs. Give me a sec.) but would it surprise you if the Cavs—who just had a historically great offense—decided to run it back now that the Eastern Conference is on fire?
Darius Garland is 25 years old.
What if he comes into next season better than Donovan Mitchell and 24-year-old Evan Mobley, becomes Dirk Nowitzki offensively?
Unfortunately for Cleveland, I don’t think either of those things will be occuring which means it’s once again the Donovan Mitchell show.
I’ve seen that show a lot.
It ends with the opposing team popping champagne.
Every time.
Mitchell can’t play defense, like, he hardly even tries.
And turns into a deep-shot chucker once defenses prevent him from getting to the basket and the Cavs are riding with him again.
Ok, man.
2. Jayson Tatum
*whispers* I think the Boston Celtics will be pretty good next season without Jayson Tatum.
Jaylen Brown and Derrick White are good enough to stay in the playoff hunt—like, I have no reason to believe Boston, without Tatum, suddenly can’t win basketball games.
And the Eastern Conference sucks.
Boston could chill at the 5th seed next year.
Not great for Jayson Tatum—whose accomplishments have been diminished from day one.
As Tatum sits on a scooter on vacation—texting Kobe’s phone—the mob prepares to erase him from Top 10 conversations entirely.
Don’t let Boston get to an Eastern Conference Finals without Tatum.
They’re about to treat that man like he’s Jared Dudley.
3. Tom Thibodeau
I love Thibs.
He helped turn around an organizations of bozos and harmonica players into perennial winners.
He also plays his starters 40+ minutes a night without ever actually prioritizing team chemistry.
Like, how did Brunson, KAT, Bridges and OG play ALL of those minutes together and still—90+ games into the year—continue to look as if they had never fucking met before?
Brunson and KAT ran no pick-and-rolls in the playoffs.
Mikal and OG looked afraid to step on Brunson or KATs toes—as if they were still brand new to the team and didn’t want to upset anyone.
When you have 4 starters who all want to create off the dribble, your bench is crucial in that it allows you to re-orient the offense around different players at different points in the game as the others rest.
But you can’t give Mikal Bridges his 5 minutes at the top of the 4th quarter to run the O when no one else ever sits.
KAT can’t really dominate the top of the 2nd quarter because OG and Bridges are still on the court, wanting to do their thing as well.
Again, I love Thibs.
But it felt like he didn’t have a single conversation with his players at any point this year.
He sat in the front of the bus and/or plane, dabbed his guys up before the game and just watched courtside—ready to challenge a call or whatever.
This is the most success Thibs has ever had in his coaching career and it ended with a loss to a Pacers team that was clearly less talented than the Knicks.
At 67, I don’t see another team giving him a chance.
If he had a championship on his resume, maybe.
But whatever team hires him understands they’ll have to fire him when the team inevitably underachieves.
4. Mat Ishbia
Outside of all the lawsuits against him, Mat Ishbia seems like a real doof.
And to be clear, there is nothing wrong with a rich guy purchasing a ball club and immediately spending a billion dollars to improve the roster.
In fact, all owners should.
Why even own a sports team if not to splurge on stars?
Like, stop donating to Trump and pay the luxury tax.
HOWEVER, acquiring an already-established championship caliber team and finishing in 1th place because you just had to get your hands on Bradley fucking Beal is where you go wrong.
So many people believe the wealthy have money because they worked hard and they are so much smarter than us.
Mat Ishbia is a fucking scammer who needed just 2 years to ruin a sports organization—an organization in court defending itself against former employees claiming they were harassed and discriminated against.
Fuck Mat Ishbia.
5. LaMelo Ball
The fuck are you doing, LaMelo?
Do you want to pretend to be a rapper like your lame older brother?
I need LaMelo Ball to figure out what his goals are and then maybe consider having bigger goals than whatever they seem to be at the moment.
- Your dad lost his foot.
- Your brother lost his knees.
- Your other brother lost his self-respect.
LaMelo, you are the most talented of them all.
- Take your fucking injury rehab seriously.
- Play defense.
- Stop balling for TikTok fan cams and try to win a championship.
Wouldn’t that be so cool?
The playoffs?
Give it a try.
I dare you.
6. Taylor Jenkins
The Memphis Grizzlies should not be a perennial playoff team with Ja Morant randomly missing games every week and a roster full of 6th men but Taylor Jenkins had those boys playing hard every night with a Prime San Antonio Spurs-ish style offense where everyone touched the rock and moved the ball.
The type of offense that brought the Pacers to the Finals.
And because his star player has chronic injuries and scares the hoes in his free time—Jenkins is out of a job.
Taylor Jenkins will coach again.
Maybe a better team like the Knicks.
But I fear he won’t get another opportunity until the next team pulls the plug on their program and starts a rebuild—handcuffing Jenkins to another project where he’ll once again turn a bunch of young players into first-round exits—leading to him being fired again for a coach with championship history.
Rinse and repeat.
Congrats, you’re the new Quinn Snyder.
7. Devin Booker
The Phoenix Suns are exploiting Devin Booker’s loyalty and Booker will always be a loser in my eyes until he uses his leverage and applies pressure to the front office to get some better players in the building than Royce O’Neale.
There’s a generation of players who believe honoring Kobe’s legacy means letting their bosses waste their time and body.
Devin Booker, you do not get to play high-level basketball forever.
Are you sure you want to spend your physical prime waiting for Bol Bol to show up late to practice?
8. Franz Wagner
For the second year in a row, Franz Wagner—the second option of this struggling Orlando Magic offense—turned into Lakers Westbrook, lobbing Molotov cocktails at the rim.
In his postseason career, Franz is shooting 22% from 3 and he’s a -16 on the court.
I said it last year and I get to say it again now: we have our new Playoff P.
When the playoffs start, Franz Wagner feels like he is learning how to play the sport in real time.
Again, I’m not getting into offseason trades yet but a short-armed many from Memphis is coming and Orlando absolutely does not need both of you.
9. Monty Williams
So Monty Williams’s coaching career is officially over, right?
The team he led to dirt almost beat the Knicks in the first round of the playoffs the year after they fired him.
And I don’t want to hear about the additions of Tobias Harris and Tim fucking Hardaway.
JB Bickerstaff—like he did in Cleveland—made these cats play hard and care about winning while Monty Williams was cashing checks and being cutesy with the lineups.
I don’t traffic in conspiracy theory but I woudn’t be shocked if Monty Williams signed the biggest contract in the NBA and intentionally tried to get himself fired—and the whole contract paid to him in a lump sum before riding off into the sunset with his new wife—a woman he married less than a year after his first wife died in a car accident.
Doctors were still trying to get a pulse from his first wife and Monty was taking his new wife “u up?” as more ambulances arrived.
That was mean.
I don’t know that man.
But like, I kinda do, you know what I mean?
10. Kyle Kuzma
Uh, I don’t suspect a team with championship aspirations will ever say to themselves, “let’s add Kyle Kuzma” ever again.
I don’t want to stay on Kuzma too long (it’s taking me forever to finish writing this shit) but can we just revisit they 0 point playoff performance?
- 0 points
- 0-for-5 shooting
- 0-for-2 from 3
- 0-for-2 from the free throw line
- 0 rebounds
- 0 assists
- 0 steals
- 0 blocks
- 2 fouls
- -24
With Damian Lillard out with an achilles injury, this is Giannis’s second-best teammate.
Lol.
11. DeMar DeRozan
I love watching DeMar DeRozan play but I’m not sure if we can keep entrusting him to be the no. 1 scoring option on basketball teams.
Like, those teams are middling.
Every time.
Even when he was hitting all those miraculous game-winning shots, that one year in Chicago before LaVine and Lonzo got hurt and before we fully understood how good Alex Caruso was.
That team still finished 6th in the East and were gentlemen swept by the Bucks in the first round.
Maybe come off the bench of something.
The salad days are over, my friend.
12. Kristaps Porzingis
Here’s my list of potential Porzingis ailments:
- Havana Syndrome
- Long Covid
- Bieber Fever
- Imposter Syndrome
- Snark Brain
- Ligma
- Dysentery
- Cooties
#GetWellSoon
13. Stephen A. Smith
Growing up, Stephen A. Smith was the cool journalist. He was friends with Allen Iverson and was unapologetically black in his speech and swagger.
He was probably still a cornball back then but ESPN used to be really stuffy so it was cool to see someone like your loud ass uncle grow into the face of the company.
But Stephen A has had one pitch for over a decade and it’s one of those celebrity first pitches that land in a team’s dugout.
I always here that Stephen A works so hard.
No the fuck he doesn’t.
There is nothing more American than mistaking ‘working hard‘ with ‘working often‘.
Just because he’s never home doesn’t mean he’s working hard.
This motherfucker was playing solitaire in the middle of the NBA Finals.
Stephen A playing solitaire during the NBA Finals. Yikes pic.twitter.com/bZ1fPptfpE
— Christian (@FreakyFunSize) June 14, 2025
At one point this year, he almost got his face remodeled by LeBron James and then went on a two-week media tour telling anyone who would listen “what he would’ve done“.
Stephen A. Smith is a 57-year-old dork, so desperate to relive his 20s that he’s turned all of his work into opportunities to talk about himself and how cool and important he is.
It would not shock me if he ran for president with Eric Adams as his VP and the two spent all their campaign donations on hookah and sex tourism.
Congrats to the OKC Thunder. The Knicks are winning it all next season and Stephen A. Smith is a bitch.
Thanks for reading.
Let me know if you think the Nats should fire Dave Martinez, leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
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