Washington DC kind of sucks right now.
A South African drug addict removed 60,000 federal jobs, so the unemployment rate is sky high over there. And the new people who work there are all MAGA sociopaths living in an alternate reality than the rest of us where they perceive America under constant threat of anyone walking down the street with melanin in their skin.
The Washington Nationals reflect their decaying city, one embarrassing loss to the Colorado Rockies—the quickest team to lose 50 games in MLB history—from a 12-game death spiral to the River Styx.
Enter James Wood.
James Wood with his 19th HR of the season.
Has a legit shot at a 90+/40+/110+/20+ season as a 22-year-old.#Natitudepic.twitter.com/ZBWlmnMbG2
— Eric Cross (@EricCrossMLB) June 19, 2025
In the bottom of the 4th, with no outs and a runner on first, 22-year-old James Wood hit his 19th home run of the season to give his squad an early 2-0 lead.
Eventually, the game would get to the 11th inning as two of the worst teams in baseball desperately fought to prove they’re better than their stinky ass opponents.
James Wood was done playing.
JAMES WOOD WALKS IT OFF WITH HIS 2ND HOMER OF THE GAME 🔥
(via @MLB)pic.twitter.com/gO92QiYwG8
— B/R Walk-Off (@BRWalkoff) June 19, 2025
Wood hit his first career walk-off homer and ended Washington’s disgusting 11-game losing streak and saved them from being swept by the Rockies, one of the worst teams ever assembled.
Here’s what the 22-year-old superstar’s season is looking like 75 games in:
- 20 homers
- 56 RBIs
- .284 batting average
- 80 hits
- 45 runs
- 19 doubles
- 166 OPS+
- 164 Rbat+
The best, and maybe only good hitter on the Nats is a 22-year old in his 2nd year.
And next up, Washington has a series with the Los Angeles Dodgers and Clayton Kershaw.
Godspeed.
Fire Dave Martinez
Dave Martinez is one of those coaches like Doc Rivers—who seem like they have incredible interpersonal relationships with players and coaches and execs and the media—but when it comes to actually winning ball games, they’re all vibes and no substance.
Last week, after losing their 7th game in a row, Martinez was asked if the offensive struggles were on the coaches—here’s his super cool, totally not angry response to that question:
“Never on coaching. Coaches work their asses off every single day. We’re not going to finger point here and say it’s on coaches. It’s never on the coaches. They work hard. The message is clear. All the work is done prior. Sometimes, they gotta go out there and they gotta play the game. It’s always been about the players. Always. I played this game a long time. Never once have I blamed the coach for anything. We worked our asses off to get better. They gave us information and we used it. These guys understand what the game is, man. I’ve never had such a group of coaches that works as hard as they do. They’re here due diligently. They go over everything. They sit with players every day. These coaches, they work their assess off. I know every coaching staff is like that. And the players know, sometimes you gotta put the onus on the players. They gotta go out there and they gotta play the game, and play the game the right way. We can’t hit for them. We can’t catch the ball for them. We can’t pitch for them. We can’t throw strikes for them. They gotta do that.”
Maybe the Washington Nationals suck because the manager thinks the coaches work harder than the players and instead of standing up for the guys actually going out there on the field and competing every day, Martinez elected to stand up with their supervisors.
Everyone not named James Wood should be unemployed by the end of the season. Somehow, the least efficient organization in DC was not dismantled by Elon Musk but I reckon he was too busy mailing his sperm to Twitter users.
#SaveDC
Thanks for reading.
Let me know if you think the Nats should fire Dave Martinez, leave a comment below. Respond on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
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