The New York Giants were one of the worst teams in the NFL last season and I know throwing a bunch of money at guys other teams discarded isn’t the smartest team-building exercise but neither is re-signing Darius Slayton—the Mendoza line of wide receivers—to the same contract you refused to give Saquon Barkley.
But it’s alllllll good. Suuuuuuper happy for Saquon.
Anyway, I think there are still some hidden gems left on the market the Giants could steal on the low low to help put together a competent NFL roster.
Here are 4 New York Giants free agents this team should sign ASAP:
1. Tyler Conklin – TE
Tyler Conklin doesn’t have one particular skill that pops out of the TV when you watch him but neither does anyone on the Giants.
Last season, Conklin recorded 52 receptions for 449 yards and 4 touchdowns.
Tyler Conklin’s hands have been incredible this season
Ranks among 25 TEs with 40+ targets:
– 2.1% drop rate (3rd-lowest)
– 9 contested catches (2nd-most)
– 69.2% catch rate on contested targets (3rd-best) pic.twitter.com/LPITfUBanG— Michael Nania (@Michael_Nania) December 13, 2023
The Giants current starting tight end, Theo Johnson, had 29 catches for 331 yards last season.
It’s as if the Giants didn’t even have a tight end in the passing game. And I know, after Andrew Thomas went out for the season, Giants tight ends were asked to stay in protection but they also dropped passes, ending drives off their fingertips. Let’s try someone else, anyone else.
2. Calais Campbell – DE
I know Calais Campbell is 38 years old and was drafted when we were still excited about new iPod releases.
I know at his age, his likelihood of injury is almost guaranteed.
But he still picked up 5 sacks with the Miami Dolphins—3 more sacks than current New York Giants starting defensive end. Rakeem Nunez-Roches.
Calais Campbell gets a sack on his first play as a Dolphin against his former team. pic.twitter.com/E5DfIa45Gi
— Fitz (@LaurieFitzptrck) September 8, 2024
Put this future Hall of Famer next to Dexter Lawrence, Brian Burns and Kayvon Thibodeaux—let’s go kill quarterbacks.
3. Tyler Lockett – WR
Tyler Lockett is coming off one of the least productive seasons of his career.
Just 49 receptions for 600 yards and 2 touchdowns.
Allllll better numbers than Darius Slayton—who again, got paid the exact contract Giants GM, Joe Schoen, refused to give Saquon Barkley.
Tyler Lockett answers the question: what if Darius Slayton were actually good?
This Tyler Lockett one-handed snag 👀
(via @thecheckdown) pic.twitter.com/g0kX3UmJdU
— ESPN (@espn) October 26, 2020
*squints* Whoa, is that Odell Less-Than Jr.?
I’ve always loved Lockett’s ability to find space somewhere out there while his quarterback is scrambling around for his life—a required skill to succeed on the Giants.
DeVito to Lockett. *Chef’s kiss*
4. Trey Lance – QB
I know Trey Lance has only held a football in his hands, like, 12 times in his entire life.
Do you understand how hard it was to find a photo of this man actually throwing the ball??
I’m still not 100% sure it’s even him under the helmet.
Trey Lance is AI, a completely hypothetical talent.
A lotto ticket that coaches have scratched holes through.
Kyle Shanahan once squeezed 2,437 and 12 touchdowns out of Nick fucking Mullens and he just couldn’t figure out Trey Lance.
THAT BEING SAID, look at this team, yo.
Tommy DeVito is about to be the week 1 starter.
Brian Daboll and DeVito’s weird long lost son relationship will make the 2025 New York Giants unwatchable
. What if Trey Lance truly does possess the talents to become a great QB?
This, of all years, is the time to find out. If he can’t beat out Tommy DeVito in camp then it’s over.
If you enjoyed what you read, head over to our Substack. We’ve got more content making fun of the ridiculous world we live in, sent directly to your email inbox daily.
Follow us over on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. Or shoot me an email at Deadseriousmailbag@gmail.com. Let’s chat, bay-beeeee.
GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings