Suitable for your next-gen light-weight Bootstrap news & magazine.

Contact Info

Theodore Lowe, Ap #867-859
Sit Rd, Azusa New York

+888-999-777-00 +77-888-444-222

shape
shape
shape
cam newton
NFL

In a league where Trevor Siemen can trick THREE football teams into signing him and his latest one into giving him TWO starts, it’s still nuts that 32-year old Cam Newton can just be watching NFL games on Sunday at the local dive bar next to you.

Until this week when Superman returned and immediately proved that he should have never been unemployed while future GrubHub driver, Baker Mayfield, gets NFL checks deposited into his account every Friday.

 


Now, Cam only threw 4 passes and rushed the ball 3 times but those short bursts of energy he provided resulted in a huge 34-10 blowout upset win over the first place Arizona Cardinals.

The Panthers traded 3 draft picks for Adam Gase’s Frankenstein (Sam Darnold) and allowed him to drive this team into the ground. Darnold leads the NFL with 11 interceptions while former MVP, Cam Newton, was trying to figure out that clunky outdated unemployment benefits website.

He was cut by the Patriots because 1. He was outplayed by Mac Jones and 2. He wasn’t vaccinated. But according to Cam, he was fine with being the backup and getting vaccinated. He believes he was cut because they didn’t want Mac to have the ‘pressure’ of Cam sitting on the depth chart behind him. People love to project issues onto him because he has a personality and that’s prohibited in this sport.

The biggest flaw in Cam’s game is that he’s black and loud. According to his critics, when he celebrates a touchdown, he’s making the game about himself. He’s selfish. However, when Aaron Rodgers celebrates a touchdown and yells ‘I OWN YOU’ at Chicago Bears fans, well that’s totally different. He’s just fired up.

Whether you love Cam Newton or you hate him, you had to admit his presence on Sunday afternoon makes the entire sport more interesting. He’s the size of a linebacker with the ability to run over defenders attempting to tackle him. He’s Lamar Jackson if Lamar Jackson’s diet consisted exclusively of eating Lamar Jackson’s.

Every play he makes is a big play to break the game open. He’s a lightening rod out there. Thank you to the Panthers for firing all the people who decided to move on from Newton and the regime recognizing how impactful it would be to have him return to Carolina.

I concur.

 

 

 


RECOMMENDED:

Panthers Rookie QB Matt Corral Already Doing That Lame Thing Quarterbacks Think They Have To Do

Cam Newton is the Corniest Dude on Earth

Give Lamar Jackson Every Dollar He Wants


Follow @Deadseriousness on Twitter to help kill some time at work.

Leave your vote

Share With Others

Lester Lee

Creator

Creator of Deadseriousness. Welcome to the mind palace of a weirdo obsessed with sports and pop culture. Walk with me.

Newsletter

<iframe src=”https://lesterlee.substack.com/embed” width=”480″ height=”320″ style=”border:1px solid #EEE; background:white;” frameborder=”0″ scrolling=”no”></iframe>

Log In

Forgot password?

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

Add to Collection

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.